Riot and Frolic

The Joys of Pregnancy

November 19, 2014
Contrary to evidence, I do not enjoy being pregnant. It makes me feel like Chris Farley, and while comparing oneself to a comedy legend seems awsome, I'm talking about the sweaty and out of breath part, which is not awesome.

Besides being held back by social restraints, not being to bend over properly, and being consistently surprised at the orb my mid-section has become, there are some perks:
1. The Free Pass #1 – I have a husband. We have three girls. We teach ballroom dancing. Specifically, he teaches women how to ballroom dance. It doesn't add up to the most testosterone/estrogen balanced life. Carrying the first man-child? FREE PASS.
2. The Free Pass #2 – I'm pregnant, therefore I might space out certain ongoing appointment times or have trouble finding my keys or jump tracks in a conversation 10 times in 2 minutes. FREE PASS.
3. People are nice. – Men hold doors and stand up for me on the train and people smile and generally make small talk more. WHAT IS THAT?
4. I'm amazing – Anything I do on the regular seems pretty extraordinary to other people when there's a basketball attached to my pelvis. Granted most knocked-up ladies I have known are more active than inactive, yet it still doesn't seem odd to me that runners/dancers/snowboarders/yogis still run/dance/snowboard/do yoga "until the stirrups". But other people seem to think otherwise and I'M GOING WITH IT.
5. Clothes – I hate many maternity clothes, but if you search really hard, you can find the really nice ones that feel like pajamas. PAJAMAS THAT LOOK LIKE CLOTHES.
6. Fashion – Even with the revelation above, there's not much I can't get away with. I mean, what is someone going to say to a pregnant lady? We're crazy. Hormones, you know. Huge flowered headband? Let's put you on today!
7. Boobs – Let's face it, for someone who doesn't regularly have cleavage, the appearance of mountains and valleys is pretty exciting. Plastic surgery without the surgery AND you don't have to keep them. BOOBS.
Number Week in Review

November 18, 2014

Number Week was an interesting concept since I'm dealing with people who kind of know how to say numbers in the commonly accepted order and vaguely know what those syllables represent. On the plus side, it was a very easy and "learny" week; on the minus side, crafts were relatively difficult since the youngest's favorite number is three (gee, I wonder why) and that is a tough number to cut out of paper.

Monday

Placecards: By accident, a tradition of theme weeks is having placecards at the table. You know, to claim your seat. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO SIT IN A PARTICULAR SPOT AT THE TABLE. Just like it was in high school, but with more yelling and hurt feelings and territorialism.

Then there was the walk to the library… in the snow… and wind. It was an adventure. A chilly, slow adventure.

But the books were pretty good, so…

Ten Birds by Cybele Young

Anno's Counting Book by Mitsumasa Anno

Hide and Sheep by Andrea Beaty and Bill Mayer

Duckie's Ducklings by Frances Barry

The Eleventh Hour by Graeme Base

Tuesday

Dice games: there's a thing called "subitizing" that makes you a better person and apparently dice are great for that, so we played the dice version of War. We also tried Tenzi, which occupied us for at least a half an hour. Numbers. Training for the tables in Vegas. Good times.

Wednesday

Number cards: Mae Cake and Zoo took the obvious route in selecting their age for their favorite number, while V decided 100 was hers.

I might have helped Zoo cut out her 3.

Thursday

Music: Check out this playlist for Numbers Week. NOSTALGIA.

Aaaaaaand that's it. We were pretty busy buying a car that works AND carries more than 5 people and actually works and stuff, so our field trip to the Minnesota Department of Revenue Building's clever number sculpture didn't work… yet.

Plus [get it?], can we address how DAMN cold it is in Minnesota right now? DAMN.
STFU… or not.

November 14, 2014

How many times have you been told to "stand up"?

More than 10. Probably 100 times.

Just. So. Many. Times.

And then you finally learn where Newfoundpostureland is and you have to "stand up" a whole different way: with forward poise, leftward lean, separation of Church and State (or ribs and hips, WHATEVER), with all your weight over one leg, and a million more variations on the theme of "Stand The F*@% Up".

Yes, we all need to learn how to dance (or even move) with "better" posture. But to different people, that means different adjustments. Some people are swaybacked (lordosis), some are hunchbacked (kyphosis), and some have a sidewise curve of the spine (scoliosis). People work bent over computer keyboards, people have babies and carry them on one side, people have tight hip flexors/hamstrings/chest muscles.

THE LIST IS ENDLESS.

And while "standing up" is an admirable trait, at a certain point, striving for a vertical line that's as tall as possible will get you stuck.

Great latin motion, swing and sway, real movement? Not so much "vertical" as "awareness of one's self in space" and "proper muscle tone".

Check it:

Super lovely, right? I mean, as 9 time world champions, they ain't bad. Nothing too extreme here, but a lot of forward poise, not merely over the middle of their foot or "standing up tall".

If you can use your spatial awareness, you'll notice these two rascals (world finalists for longer than many of us have been driving cars) are NOT vertical. I would call it "leany". Because I'm technical like that.

Then there's this:

Again with the prettiness, but they are not straight up and down.

And for the last example, these two again being hella not upright.

So the next time someone tells you to "stand up", make sure you know exactly what they're looking for: your head back, your chin down, your eyes up, your hips under, your weight towards your toes, your belly in, blah blah blah. And then once you have that down, expect that someone will try to knock your shit over and you'll never see "straight" again.
Ways In Which I Am Totally An Adult

November 13, 2014
Most days I'm amazed that I've made it as far as I have. Meaning, I'm amazed I'm still alive AND that my age reflects a number most people relate to "adulthood". Because there are days (let's not mind the percentage here) that I eat cookies for breakfast, or stay up until the wee hours of the morning watching my favorite tv show, or whine about not getting my way that would make my membership in the Adult Club seem invalid. But there are some ways I feel like I can proudly hold up my Club membership card and buy liquor and cigarettes at will…
1. I drink coffee. And not something that looks like this*: No, regularly, I must consume at least one cup greater or equal to 10 ounces of this:
2. I pay taxes. It's generally super lame and depressing, but filling out the myriad little boxes on those damn forms makes me feel like I've earned my keep (even if someone is taking it away).
3. I have Opinions… on Things… of Great Importance. Life, death, sex, religion, and politics? I THINK about all of those. I mean, I still think about what kind of candy I'd like to get at the check-out when I go to the grocery store in three days and how funny Calvin & Hobbes is, but I do that slightly less now that there's Single Payer Health Care and Philosophies to ponder.
4. I have a hairstylist. I heard legendary tales of people following their hairstylists to the ends of the earth, or even worse, THE OUTER RING SUBURBS. Sagas involving phone books and multiple phone calls and mistaken identities and salon espionage. Since there were more than a few years when I cut and dyed my own hair, I thought these stories were myth, or even unnecessary, BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND.
5. I pay my bills. This would mean I was an adult for a couple years post-high school and then regressed in my 20s, but damn it feels good to be a gangsta… and make it rain… on the electric company.
6. I have children. Therefore I have no fear. Adults from my childhood were not afraid of thunderstorms, or ghosts, or big bugs, or the basement, or of really deep lakes where you can't see the bottom and you know muskies live in, or ALL OF THE OTHER REALLY SCARY STUFF THAT EXISTS. So I do my best impersonation of an adult (which I think is what we are all doing anyway) and squash the bug, make up fun stories about where thunder comes from, walk slowly up the basement stairs [if there are other people present], talk about how ghosts are totally made up, and jump in really deep, muskie-infested lakes without screaming. For the children.
Yeah, it's not a LONG list and I negate all that by doing like I did in eighth grade and post a picture of a hot guy at the end of my entry.

Happy Thursday!

*Well, not all the time.
All the Delicious Things

November 12, 2014

I made bad waffles last week.

In the grand scheme of things, clearly this is not an issue. In fact, many would hashtag it #firstworldproblems. But in the minutiae of my day, IT IS EVERYTHING.

I plan fantastic breakfasts SO I GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING. If I knew there was something lame, like, like, like…

Okay, so there's not a lot of breakfast food I don't like, but trust me, if breakfast was not guaranteed delicious, I would stay in bed until noon and skip right to sandwiches.

In the vein of keeping things as delicious as possible as motivation for living, here are my favorite recipes (tried and true, yo):

Breakfast

Bakery Style Double Chocolate Muffins from Crunchy, Creamy, Sweet: they involve Greek yogurt, so #healthy. And double chocolate refers to the two kinds of chocolate chips involved, not like THESE…

Double Fudge Banana Muffins from Yammie's Noshery: they taste like you should be doing P90X while eating them, but are relatively sugar-free, actually gluten-free, and again with the Greek yogurt if you don't have bananas on hand.

Italian Baked Eggs from Damn Delicious: it's like eating cold pizza for breakfast, except it's hot and not old pizza.

Waffle of Insane Greatness from the Food Network: I'm sticking with you, buddy. Because you're fucking awesome.

Lunch

I'm a huge fan of any sandwich, but there are a couple superstars if you're home for the day and have a stovetop nearby…

Chipotle Chicken Grilled Cheese Sandwich from Brunch Time Baker: it's a melt. Enough said.

Need something to throw in the fridge at work? I swear even though this is healthy, it's totally bomb and you'll feel like a better person after eating it…

Spinach and Orzo Salad from allrecipes.com: flavors, simple ingredients, and keeps for about a week? OKAY.

Dinner

Chicken and Kale Pizza Bake from Savvy Mom: a slight pain in the ass to prepare, but makes enough for two meals (scooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre) and KALE.

Zuppa Toscana Soup from The Goldilocks Kitchen: apparently a copycat recipe for something at the Olive Garden, I literally burn my face off eating this soup. I try to play it cool after noticing it is MUCH too hot to eat upon sitting down to sup, but directly after scalding my mouth on the first sip, I CAN'T STOP BECAUSE IT'S SO DELICIOUS. Plus, again on the enough for two+ meals.

Butter Chicken (Chicken Makhani) from Half Baked Harvest: CROCKPOT. INDIAN FOOD. GREEK YOGURT. #HEALTHY.

Bean and Quinoa Enchilada Bake from Two Peas and Their Pod: dude, a vegetarian option even. This will feed you for a week. Or more.

Any all-time favorite recipes you cannot live without? DO TELL.
Alphabet Week in Review

November 11, 2014

My life is in a perpetual and precarious balance between overachieving and total slacking.

Over the weekend, I like to plan out my next week, prepare nerdy/artsy/schooly stuff (for the girls' activities or for my own projects), and catch up on stuff that slipped through my to-do list's grasp. But I also avoid doing the dishes and laundry until Monday AND cook a lot, but then I make up for it by waking up early on Monday and cleaning and doing things, but by Monday night, I just want to sit on the couch and eat Halloween candy for three hours.

By Thursday, I've lost the energy to create anything from scratch and forage in the refrigerator for leftover scraps, I cross my fingers that I planned enough interesting things for the ladies to do, and I start to wonder if not having a television is really the best route to sanity.

This last week was no different, but let's all just nod and smile about what happens to "structure" after Hump Day and pat ourselves on the back for making it through 57% of the week unscathed.

Monday

Library Day:

The Human Alphabet featuring Pilobolus

Paul Thurlby's Alphabet (my favorite of this collection, great illustrations)

Almost an Animal Alphabet by Katie Viggers

Music:

Alphabet Aerobics (by Blackalicious, NOT Daniel Radcliffe)

Tuesday

Cards: a project from the 365 Craft-a-Day book, which is usually super easy, but cutting out letter shapes is relatively HARD. Plus, then you have to glue them on paper and spatial awareness in the 6-and-under set is NOT STRONG.

But it was still adorable and quick, so WHO CARES.

Wednesday

Bead find: this is where my proper prior planning prevented poor-parent pandemonium. I made these alphabet find templates, bought a pack of letter beads AND cute beads, and dumped them in a bowl.

Once they had found all the letters, they got to make necklaces.

Time at the table: more than 30 minutes. YESSSSSSSSSSS.

Thursday

Scavenger hunt: we were at the studio most of the day, so I set them loose with my iPhone and one of the alphabet find sheets.

Boom.

20 minutes PLUS exercise.

I had the greatest intention of making these fabric covered letters with/for the girls, but WORKING, CLEANING, SLEEPING, SUCK IT.

How was your week? Awesome-ade (awesome with sugar and water added to it?)?
Templates

November 10, 2014

Template for Alphabet Week alphabet find:
Taking the Lead

November 7, 2014
Sometimes there's 9 ladies in group class and 3 men.

Sometimes you want to even out the ratio by switching roles.

Here's how, when, and why you should lead as a regular follow:

How Should I Lead?
1. confidently
Since you were brave enough to cross the gender divide, be brave enough to make mistakes and learn from them. READ THE DIRECTIONS BELOW. Guide your follower in the pattern as well as you can and remember that the other leads are attempting the same thing (and those followers? they are learning, too).

When Should I Lead?
1. when there's more ladies than men in class
2. when you're in the mood to try it
3. when you have done the pattern in focus at least once as follow
4. when you're feeling confident (or can fake it)
5. when you're in the mood to fully participate
#1 seems obvious, but there's a been a couple times that ladies have chosen to lead when there's even numbers or even more men and while switching parts is an AWESOME LEARNING TOOL, that was not the time.

By even-ing out genders, you're helping out the teacher, giving yourself and all other class participants the opportunity to dance more, and learning something new and valuable yourself (more about that below).

#2 – Are you in the mood to take the other part? Sometimes, I'm working on a new technique and want to use the time in class to practice it without the worry of doing something else new.

Sometimes, I want to hang out next to my bestie and just dance around without being particularly learn-y.

Maybe the pattern looks too difficult to lead or there are techniques that are being introduced that you are unfamiliar with. In these cases, stay with your default gender and learn and practice!

#3 is often ignored by new lady leaders. It is INFINITELY easier to lead a pattern once you know the follower's part. If you have no idea how much the pattern rotates, or what hand hold is used, or where shadow position is, even if you're feeling super helpful and leader-y, STAY ON YOUR SIDE. Lady leaders are often looked upon as the more advanced ones in class because you chose to do a different part. It's assumed that you have some experience with the pattern and you are LEADING…

lead¹
lēd/
verb

cause to go with one by holding them by the hand while moving.

show (someone or something) the way to a destination by going in front of or beside them.

synonyms: prompt, initiate
Which brings us to #4… since there's some proficiency implied when you go to the other side, and the leaders you're standing next to are also trying to successfully complete the work in class, THERE IS NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE. Do your thing to the best of your ability (with the above conditions hopefully met) and keep making adjustments. Keep your chin up and smile.

#5 since you're doing a different part than usual and probably do not know all the ins and outs of this half of the partnership, please listen to your teacher closely. They are likely to give you helpful hints to make transitions easier, address common mistakes, and generally teach you how to do it. If you're making dirty jokes with your classmates and not listening, A) you're being disruptive B) you're making it harder on yourself and others. BOO.

Why Should I Lead?
1. for perspective
Once you've lead the lovely lady who has no connection/too much connection/doesn't move herself/totally moves herself/has beautiful shape/follows through on initiation/uses amazing latin motion/BLAH BLAH BLAH, you'll further comprehend that thing that your teacher has been telling you. You'll immediately see how important it is to keep your elbows lifted in closed dance frame or to keep moving in the direction you were lead or to keep your eyes up. You'll learn how to do your full-time job better!

Questions? Concerns? Comments?
Pumpkin Week in Review

November 4, 2014

I could also name this "The Not Great Pumpkin". Maybe you'll disagree but I label this #uninspired.

Sunday

Pumpkin carving: The Godfamily took the little ghouls (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA HA HA. Ha ha… [sigh]) for the seemingly annual Pumpkin Carve. For some crazy reason, I didn't take any pictures of their super cute pumpkins.

Trust me, they were cute. And I didn't see the offspring for 5 hours, so it must have been good. I heard there was candy and pizza and Adam has a green shirt. I get the important details, you know.

Monday

Books for the week:

1. Pumpkin Soup by Helen Cooper

2. Piggies in the Pumpkin Patch by Mary Peterson and Jennifer Rofe

3. Splat the Cat and the Pumpkin Picking Plan by Rob Scotton

4. Ready for Pumpkins by Kate Duke

Tuesday

Muffins: it's always muffin day on Tuesday, so duh. But also chili. Seriously, throw a can of pumpkin puree in your chili. It tastes great. (I don't have a recipe for it, I just throw things in a crockpot and make a wish.)

The ladies mostly digested today's activity, so time at the table would be THE ETERNITY IT TAKES THEM TO FINISH A MEAL.

Wednesday

Paper pumpkins: Yes. Cut straight lines, make a sunburst, staple it, use some three-dimensional visualization, staple it again, and win. It's a pumpkin, a ball, a basket that doesn't really hold anything, it's freaking Superman.

Zoo, clearly, is winking. Mae Cake is stressed out by holding her pumpkin over her head (which I did not ask her to do).

Time at the table: 5-10 minutes depending on hand-eye coordination.

Thursday

Pumpkin cards: from the Craft-a-Day bible. Again, I missed the photo ops (opps?) and the fancy cards got sent out without me knowing what's inside. You know, if you send us your address, you'll probably get a card. (riotandfrolic@gmail.com)

making the template

Friday

Painting pumpkins: it turned out very Martha Stewart-y [read: AWESOME] and I used the quintessential stay-at-home-crafty-mom product: MOD PODGE.

Since my zucchini plants were actually miniature [read: useless] pumpkins this year, we had more than a few decorative pumpkins waiting around to turn into coaches or at least something that glittered.

I had some acrylic paints left over from a somewhat failed jewelry making project, small foam brushes from the same lame project, and I had found glitter in Target's Dollar Spot, so GAME ON.

Time at the table: 20 minutes.

How was your week? Do you hate or love Halloween? Do you carve pumpkins? Roast seeds? Did you make a haul in candy, vicariously through children or by raiding the Halloween sales? Did you see this ridiculous list of things to make with a thing called "leftover candy"?
November Mixed Tape

November 3, 2014

Yo.

Happy Monday.

Here's the November Mixed Tape (click here for mobile users).

http://grooveshark.com/widget.swf

I included some tracks from the Theme Weeks ("Particle Man" and "Ghosts", duh") and some other super nostalgic songs about triangles (FRENTE!).

I really want to love the Damien Rice song, but his whole line about "manger… stranger… danger" makes me want to punch him and add something about a ranger and Hermoine Granger… That said, it's still on the list. There might be a Viennese Waltz in there, too. (For you, Charlie!)

Enjoy!

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