Riot and Frolic

Notice I didn't say "How to be the Best Dance Partner" or even "How to be a Great Dance Partner" because DAMN, SON, there are a lot of ways to screw this up and I will settle for "good" IN JUST THIS ONE AREA of dancing.

Don’t date

Yes, I'm putting this first.

It's easy to confuse your love for this cool hobby and the good times you’re having while dancing, with a love for the attractive person [fact: all dancers are attractive] in your arms.  STOP IT.   Because once you figure out that all those endorphins and happy hormones were from the physical act of dancing and not from making out after practice, you might ruin dancing and its large social pool for yourself AND your former partner. 

Of course I already wrote an article about not dating your dance partner, so just go read it while you're at it.

Show up

Agree on practice times, confirm if you must, and show up ready to do SOMETHING. It’s never easy to begin.  But get your tush on the floor and start moving.  

Have a good warm up or silly shenanigans to kick off practice on a fun and easy note.  When I first started dancing, my partner and I stretched out quietly together; my next partner and I would shoot the shit while putting on our shoes and then do a Hustle to get started; #3 and I would bang out rounds from the get-go, and then dig into technique.  These days, G and I have an excellent partnering exercise with which to begin practice and to get out of our teacher/parent/business owner heads.  

It'd be great if you had mutual goals written out, so your practice time would be easily planned. "We need to know three moves in these three dances and be able to dance with music by this date" is an excellent starter.  "We want to be able to count our Open choreography with the appropriate syncopations from beginning to end in a month" would be a good one for an advanced dancer.  

If you're having a hard time structuring practice or making goals together, private lessons ARE available with amazing professionals who do exactly that FOR A LIVING.

Be cool

Dancing might be the only thing you feel good at/about or is progressing at a rate you find acceptable or that you can control at the moment but CHILL OUT. Be respectful and understanding of your partner's JOBS, and SLEEP, and FAMILY, and FRIENDS, and OTHER THINGS.  You had agreed to certain practice times, but sometimes they have to change.  IT'S OKAY.  There are plenty of awesome ways to practice on your own when your need/desire/obsession to hit the floor outweighs your partner's need for a bill-paying job.  

Shut up

There's so many times where it'd be easier to say to your partner, "You're not doing so-and-so" or "You're knocking me over here" or "Stop kicking me" or whatever than carefully examining your role in the partnership and realizing your partner can't do so-and-so because you're in the way, or you're actually knocking yourself over, or you were supposed to be in side by side position and not in shadow.  

It's also exceedingly difficult not to bring these kind of things up in lessons.  DON'T DO IT.  I promise your coach will be able to see Things That Are Happening.  Coach might not always bring up those exact issues that are driving you crazy because often there are bigger fish to fry, but ye olde coach sees it.  Sometime in the near future, that issue will be addressed by dear Coach and you can go "brush your shoes" on the side of the ballroom to hide your smug smile and whisper "I told you so".

Shut your mouth. Focus on yourself. 

Just keep dancing

Some dance partnerships don't work out for BIG TIME REASONS (imagine anything you would say "ew" to), but often, one or both partners get uncomfortable for small time reasons (mismatched proficiency, lack of funds, the difficulty of growth and progress in dancing, time commitment, unsatisfactory competitions results, stagnation, new romantic partner/life change, etc.) that seem too much to handle.  

If you're REALLY REALLY REALLY honestly not going to dance anymore, cool.  Be done. 

But if you stop practicing together, now you are no longer dancing.  And when you're no longer dancing, it's quite difficult to improve. 

Sure, you might end a partnership with the idea of finding a new partner, but changing partners usually does not solve those small time problems that you had with that good partner.  (Plus, there's the whole rigamarole of finding that new partner.)

Instead of ending a partnership, set new goals.  Chip away at those goals.  Figure out a new schedule.  Work with different coaches.  Dance with a different group of dancers.  See how it feels in three months.  Six months.  A year.  

And do like Dory. 

Work, but not too much

Of course, we should all show up to each practice with a yearning to increase the technical, artistic, and musical aspects of our dancing with the focus of a laser beam and a fierce commitment to our partnership.  But we should also go out for a beer.  Or pizza. We should know more about our dance partner than their favorite dance, least favorite dance, and the birthdate for competition entry forms.  Not that every partnership has to be BFFs, but being able to hold down a conversation with that person who holds up their frame opposite you is definitely a check in the "good" column.