Advent Adventures
Day 13: take the train in to Minneapolis and watch the Holidazzle parade.
Otherwise known as, Holidon't, Holidisappointment, or, my personal favorite, Holi-diaster.
Here's the problem with the Holidazzle parade: it's a winter parade… IN MINNESOTA. 
We have forecasts that are described as "BITTERLY COLD". "FEELS LIKE -19°".
NINETEEN BELOW ZERO, PEOPLE. You Californians, just. don't. know.
Parades are generally for the children and in the name of making happy memories, us crazy Minnesotans will drag our wee ones out into the SUB-FREEZING TUNDRA of Minneapolis and stand on a curb for an hour.
But wait, we won't, because 1-3 of our children will need to go to bathroom and THERE ARE NO BATHROOMS.
You think I'm joking, but IT IS A FACT. There is ONE bathroom open in the evening in downtown Minneapolis and it is so far in the recesses of Macy's that you think you're in an employees only area. And it is strangely hot in the bathroom and your children have 9 layers of clothing on because you were planning on the Antarctic-like atmosphere outside, not the rainforest you've just encountered inside.
And you want to get a coffee SO BAD (and put some of that whiskey in it, that you brought in your new birthday flask), but the line at the Caribou Coffee is INTIMIDATINGLY LONG. So you hunch your shoulders and head back outside without a hot toddy. *sigh*
The two floats you end up seeing are really neat and you're impressed by the parade marchers' enthusiasm, but you have made up your mind that A) the best part was the train ride and B) you're not going again until the girls are 14 years old OR it's 34° out.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS.
Riot and Frolic 
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