Riot and Frolic

Over the last couple weeks, I've been compiling information from complaints parents have about their kids.  Apparently some parents didn't get the disclaimer to their children before they owned them.  

For those of you who missed this memo, here you go:

• You will resent your children.

Whether it's for 10 seconds or your entire lifetime is up to you.

It could be because they stole your youth, or your body, or your sanity, or your spontaneity, or your career, or your money, or your sexiness, or your freedom, but regardless, you need to raise a small thing to an adult thing.

• Children are stupid.

Stupid, in the sense of the word that is its definition: marked by unreasonable or careless thinking or acting.  

Your kid might be smart for a 3 year old, but that doesn't mean your kid won't touch the stove while it's on, or put their shoes on the wrong feet 7 times a day, or want to take a nap because it's naptime.

You need to constantly (I am not underestimating) inform your children what will hurt, how to tell which shoe goes on which foot, or that they need to take that nap, along with an endless list of other knowledge we take for granted because our parents taught us OR because we are now instilled with common sense.

• Children are annoying.

They like to do the same thing over and over: read the same book, sing the same song, make the same action.   You can play along with the positive annoyances ("I will 'Goodnight Moon' one more time… Again?  Okay…") and you can shut down the negetive ones ("Don't pick your nose").

But one way or another, your children will annoy you.

There are several ways to combat annoyance:

1. say "no"
2. think on your feet ("find all the red things!" "stand on your head!")
3. say "no"
4. say "no"
5. have a sense of humor (because most of the time, it's funny)

If you are bitter about these facts, state out loud that your expectations are contrary to these, and/or inform others in a negative manner that your children's actions are surprisingly conforming to these ideas, you might need to read this disclaimer again. 

One year ago: LLLL, in which I explain what a date is.

All information provided in the official Riot and Frolic site is provided for entertainment and therapeutic purposes only.  Information on the official Riot and Frolic website is subject to change without prior notice but with gusto. Although every reasonable effort is made to present current and accurate information, Riot and Frolic makes no guarantees of any kind because she oftens likes to make up statistics and other facts.

Parenting, crafting, dancing, cooking, baking, fashion, gardening, and running recommendations and comments presented on the official Riot and Frolic site are solely those of Kate.  They do not represent the opinions of people with whom she disagrees or of people who disagree with her. 

Readers should be cautious about any and all of the above recommendations and should consider the source of any advice. Various factors, including personal or corporate ownership or sponsorship, race, gender, economic status, time of day, breakfast options, caffeination level, political leanings, and looming laudry pile, may influence or factor into this "expert's" opinion.