Riot and Frolic

a mostly ballroom dance, but also a bunch of other stuff, blog

recent posts

about

I own and rock people’s faces off teaching ballroom dancing at Dancers Studio in St. Paul, MN. My husband and I compete professionally in American style and wrangle eight children in our spare time. I’ve been teaching and competing in ballroom dancing for over 25 years and have lots of opinions on it. I am an expert by any means, but there are quite a few dancers who are better than me and I have a solid knowledge of basic technique, so suck it.

The No-Screaming Rule

I'm not a helicopter parent.  Our house is not child-proofed.  When we go grocery shopping, there is at least one little lady standing in the cart.  I have, on regular occasions, given my small children hard candies.

But here's where I draw the line: no screaming.

Children screaming is my worst nightmare.  Literally.

I have NEVER had the kind of nightmares that I do since I've had children.  "Waking up heaving and sobbing from the vicious violence that lies in my unconscious" kind of nightmares.  The kind can't even describe, they're THAT awful.

You know, BAD.  "Bad enough not to print on the Internet" kind of bad.

I also suffer from irrational, conscious fears, like "the driver of that car 50 yards away will somehow lose control and crash into our front yard, so we'd better play in the backyard" kind of fears.  

So when I hear a kid screaming, whether it's my own or someone else's, I'm transported to fight-to-flight mode in a frighteningly short amount of time.  

Fortunately (?), I prepare to attack.  I don't need a phone booth or anything, but I immediately start looking for heavy objects to swing.  I run scenarios of what might be happening so I can counter with some brilliant child-saving strategy.  I, of course, start yelling, as I run to the source.

Me:  WHAT'S GOING ON?  WHAT HAPPENED?  WHO'S SCREAMING?!  WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

V:  Oh hey, Mom, we are just playing a game called Princess Tickle Monster and the Princess Tickle Monster is chasing us and we are running away. 

Me:  Why are you screaming?

V: [speaking slowly for emphasis] Because Princess Tickle Monster is chasing us.

Me:  [breathing heavily]  Okay.

Then I try to chill after fearing the worst and preparing to fight terrorists, aliens, and other villians and go back to folding laundry or whatever.

Does anyone else get this?  

 
3e1a4ceff9b7a5b7f0592f450eabf022

Two years ago: LLLL, in which I pass on traits to my children. 

[Note: I started this entry right after the Boston Marathon and could only now finish it with some humor and not sounding completely crazy.  Yay for less than completely crazy!]

Posted in

6 responses to “The No-Screaming Rule”

  1. Jeremy Avatar
    Jeremy

    Yeah, I have those. Only regards to a slightly older Princess…

    Like

    Reply
  2. Marsha Avatar
    Marsha

    My baby will be 21 in October. He just moved into a dive near the U with four buddies. I fear that he will die in the house fire that will surely result fron the kitchen below his bedroom bursting into flame. Or a crazy person will sneak up the back stairs and into his room and murder him in his sleep. Or… you get the idea. It NEVER goes away.

    Like

    Reply
  3. bgballroom Avatar
    bgballroom

    I grew up in a home with a strict non-screaming rule. I believe, though I may have made this up, that my mother’s expression was, “If I hear screaming there had better be blood.” I have toned that down over the years, since I work with toddlers whose parents may not share my sense of humour. So I say “Screaming is for DANGER, not for fun.”
    My eldest “baby” is about to turn 33 and lives a 3 hour drive away. He posted on facebook that he is sick and it takes some serious will to keep myself from wanting to drop everything and go there to make him soup:-)

    Like

    Reply
  4. Riot and Frolic Avatar
    Riot and Frolic

    It still counts!

    Like

    Reply
  5. Riot and Frolic Avatar
    Riot and Frolic

    Oh GREAT, Marsha.
    I figured, but now you’ve confirmed it.

    Like

    Reply
  6. Riot and Frolic Avatar
    Riot and Frolic

    I like that phrasing, well, both of them.
    And as you see, this is an on-going tradition for mothers (and fathers, I assume).

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Riot and Frolic Cancel reply