No, not the NBA. Sorry, men.
No no, my people, I'm just finally wrapping up the 10 Kitchen Tips for the Cooking Impaired.
Since this is about 7 weeks and a day overdue, let's get to it:
7. Instead of buying pre-cut and washed lettuces (which are sincerely GREAT if you don't have any time to eat), buy a couple different types of greens at the store, wash them, dry them, rip them up, and put them in your crisper drawer in the fridge (approx. time- 5 minutes).
I make sure the drawer is clean, line the bottom with a couple paper towels, put the mixed greens in, and cover them with a couple more paper towels. They keep just as long as the bags, but you get a ton more produce for your money. Plus, then you have a green salad just waiting to be eaten.
Looking for some produce combos? Check out Jamie Oliver's über-helpful cooking site for perfect pick-and-mix salads.
8. Easy measuring conversions to remember: 4 tablespoons = 1/4 cup, 3 teaspoons = 1 tablespoon.
I can't tell you how often I use just these two.
9. If you need to learn how to do anything in the kitchen, consult the YouTubes. It is often easier than calling your mom. Spatchcock a chicken? Check. Crack an egg? Check. Chop an onion? Check. Make foie gras? Check.
10. You bought one of those awesome take-and-bake baguettes from the New French Bakery at Target, but you didn't finish the whole thing (who are you? Superman?). The next day you want to have the leftovers with your soup, but you want a hot, crusty baguette, not the chewy ghost of last night's dinner.
To restore old baguettes to their former freshly-baked glory, put that baby under your faucet and "rinse" it off. Yes, get it wet. Then throw it in a 350* oven for 10 minutes and your day-old bread is as good as fresh. It's bizarre and awesome. Try it.
That last one has changed my life. CHANGED MY LIFE!
Carbs.
One year ago: I had a Case of the Mondays, but I recommend some stellar stuff to make it feel like Friday.
Riot and Frolic 
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