Riot and Frolic

Media Frenzy

May 25, 2011

12 Lost In The World [feat. Bon Iver]

I don't buy a lot of books. Or music. Or movies… Anymore. My friends buy books and then tell me to read it as they put the book in my hand. I listen to the Current or all my favorite tunes on my computer and if I'm really motivated, I *insert air quotes*- buy it on iTunes- *end air quotes.* As for movies, I can't fathom spending $10 for something I might not enjoy and had to find a babysitter for, so I use Redbox (it's a dollar) or wait for The Office or 30 Rock to come out on DVD so I'm not disappointed.

But lately, I've been on a roll.

Por ejemplo, I got invited to be in a book club. I won't even tell you how excited I am about that now, it will distract from the task at hand. But I just got the book and it looks very good.

It's going to be on the big screen in July, starring stupid Anne Hathaway (bad Jane Austen) and hot Jim Sturgess (not bad at singing Beatles' tunes).

Upon many years of recommendations, I decided to pick up my very battered version of Atlas Shrugged (I'm pretty sure it's a first edition) and start a political debate on Facebook. If you've read the book and want to know something about a person, it's a good litmus test to ask them what they think of it.

"They" made it into a movie recently and it looks terrible, but this handsome guy is in it. I award you one point.

UPDATE (5/25/12)- The Atlas Shrugged movie TOTALLY BLOWS! I watched about twenty minutes of it before I had to throw myself off of the couch in disgust. It is, literally, one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and I saw this. Apparently, they're going to make Part II (with D.B. Sweeney as John Galt?!) anyway, so let's get together to see it, armed with popcorn. For eating or throwing, is yet to be seen. END O' UPDATE

Since I finished all the Twilight books, I have been off teenage-supernatural fiction for awhile. I was pretty happy to kick the habit, since I'm pretty sure it was rotting my brain, keeping me up at night, and making me ignore my children. But then, my darling friend, let's call her Mitten, introduced me to this series. Mitten is also the lovely bird who got me started on Twilight. I'm starting to think I should not walk down a darkened hallway with her because clearly, I can't resist her product.

So here's the fourth book in the Mortal Instruments line of crack.

And yes, I've heard of the Hunger Games trilogy and am trying to stay off them.

Hubby o' mine came home for Date Night with this book and a dozen roses under his arm, so we all know that night went the way we both wanted. Great food and a happy wife… What were you thinking, sicko?

Onto the music scene, Jeremy Messersmith is a local guy who keeps puttin' on the Ritz with catchy pop tunes and some heartfelt lyrics that make me buy all his albums, especially because you can get them on tape.

Awhile back, I stuck in a song from the new Fleet Foxes album, Helplessness Blues. I gave in and bought it today and it's beautiful.

If you haven't heard Adele, you're living under a rock more than I am. She rocks. Figuratively. In a whole bunch of different ways, and not only because she smokes publicly.

Listen.

05 Set Fire To The Rain

I'm not very excited by many movies, but this has Steve Carrell AND Ryan Gosling in it and I love both of them. Plus, the preview made me laugh at least three times.

Anything billed as" The Hangover for women" is a movie I have to see.

And this guy rollerskates for fun.
Big spiders

May 25, 2011

Don't worry, arachnophobes. No actual spiders here, just lots of colored paper.

But apparently, in the dark, these look like big spiders.

Yeah, that's a tissue paper flower. It's about a foot and a half in diameter. Clearly, my husband has been watching movies like this:

Anyhoo, yesterday, you might have read about my craft fail with the above flowers, or stringing thereof. I wanted to give you all some hinties, so your magnificent flowers can look as lush and fantastic as these:

First of all, this really is a fun project. Kids can be involved, it's cheap, easy, fast, and fruitful. You might even have all the things you need around your house. There's a million tutorials around the internet, and I'll link my favs…

Martha Stewart. You crafty wench. Not only does she (or her staff- whatever, Gordon!) show you how to make the festive hangy-balls, but cutie little napkin rings, also.

This lady took the MS toot and one upped her. I know, blasphemy. But it's great, really.

Here's the deal:

Tissue Paper Flowers (Pom-Poms)

– several sheets of tissue paper

– a material to bind your tissue paper together (string, fishing line, floral wire, pipe cleaners, yarn, etc.)

– scissors

If you checked out the links above, you got the general gist:

Take several layers of tissue paper in a square-ish shape in the size you'd like and fold them accordion style. Bind them in the middle. Cut half-circles or points off the ends. Seperate layers into poofs. Drink root beer with strangely project-coordinated child.

Hints:

– more layers of tissue paper= more BA* flowers.

– smaller pom-poms need less layers than large ones. (I liked 8 layers or so on my 6" flowers and about 16 layers on my foot and a half flowers.)

– when you cut your ends (half-circles or points), make deep cuts. Then they look more petal-like.

Ideas:

– use several different colors in one poof.

– stick it on a gift instead of a bow

– hang a garland of smallish flowers along with some twinkle lights.

*- bad ass
Let there be light… Or not.

May 24, 2011

Before and after, yo. It even works. It's brighter than the sun. It fits with the new entry decor, which is this:

Thanks, Design Seeds.

This new decor is a lot better than the old decor, which I don't want to depress you with today. Let's just say: 70's, dark wood paneling, carpet.

Lesson learned twice yesterday (and the "or not" part of the title): measure twice, cut once.

In order to continue my beach theme up the stairs and into the second floor hallway, I spray-painted a different light fixture to match the neat-o chandelier. We have a lot of strange lighting in our house and I'm on a long-term mission to make it all pretty. I was going to install the newly-painted light myself, but my stud contractor friend came over to help (something about pregnant ladies near the stairs playing with electricity…). He got it all wired up, just to have it not function. Long story short: the special new light had too much wattage for the breaker and I blew the fuse. Lame.

Then, I was making a pretty tissue-paper-flower garland to calm down (mad preggo lady!) after the lighting incident. I went to hang the lovely flora when I found every configuration I tried looked stupid: it was hanging too low, or too high, or the flowers were too bunchy, or too spread out, etc. I'm not entirely happy with the outcome, but I can leave it how it is without having anxiety every time I walk in the Green Room.

So, when hanging a new light fixture, I will check wattage. When making decorations, I will measure the distance I'd like covered. Then I will proceed accordingly. My husband will be happy to read that.
Recipe for Greatness

May 23, 2011

I'm going to try posting this by email in an attempt to check off another item on one of my to-do lists. Thanks, Typepad, for adding to the long list of activities I try to postpone. (But really, thanks, your set-up is great.)

AND to follow through on my promise from yesterday, I'm going to share with you all of my amazing, quick, and amount-non-specific recipes. Yeah, there's only three, so don't get too excited.

Remember the caramel rolls? Mmmm, caramel rolls. My folks have made these bad boys for as long as I can remember every Christmas and Easter morning. I always thought they were labor-intensive. My ma and pa would stay up late the eve of whatever holiday, whipping up the caramel (Ma) and cutting up the dough (Pa). And we only got them twice a year, so they must be difficult and therefore quite a treat.

Turns out that they are rather foolproof and very easy. Hmph. Parents. Always tricking you.

Caramel Rolls

– 2 loaves of Rhodes sweet dough bread, thawed (It's in the freezer section. There's 3 loaves in a package, so I always buy two bags, then I can make 3 batches of treats. No, not all at one time! … Well, sometimes.)

– one box of cook 'n' serve (NOT INSTANT!) butterscotch or vanilla pudding (I always use butterscotch, but to each his own. "Don't use instant pudding. And don't forget to put sunscreen on your ears and the top of your feet." – Ma)

– 1/2 cup of butter (That's one stick, people.)

– 3/4 c. brown sugar

Cut one loaf of bread into bite-sized pieces while you melt the goodness of the last three ingredients together in a pan. Put your little bread pieces in a greased 13"x9" pan. Pour 1/2 of the melted ingredients over that first cut-up loaf. Repeat with the second loaf and remaining goodness. Put it in the oven at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes.

Generally, I make these for occasions to keep the tradition of assumed difficulty alive. But last week, I made them during the week. G helped. He really thought there was some trick that only I could do to make them turn out correctly. I was a little sad to let him in on the secret. Even if your caramel sauce looks weird, or your bite-sized pieces are almost the size of your head, or you let the bread rise too much, or you don't cook the rolls long enough, everyone will still eat them and think they are wonderful.

Remember the eggplant? Maybe you didn't know it was an eggplant, but let me tell you about eggplant: they are delicious.

About a year ago, I was being all healthy and trying to consume different and nutritious foods. This is a feat for me, because I
A) do not like vegetables.
B) do not like trying new things.

I'm one of those people who goes to a restaurant and orders the same thing every time- St. Clair Broiler= tuna melt, Manning's Cafe= patty melt, any Thai place= red curry, any Indian place= chicken mahkani, etc.

Anyhow, I heard eggplant is good for you and had always liked the sound of eggplant parmesan. That's not what I made, but I'd still like to try it. After reading some scary description of how to prepare an eggplant (ex.- it tends to be bitter, so soak it in salt water for an hour and then pat it dry), I cubed it, put some salt on it, and threw it on the grill. It was good. So good, that I bought another eggplant.

G had the brilliant idea of throwing it in a pan with some olive oil, salt and pepper, and frying it. Wow. I'm pretty sure that's why I married him.

Fried eggplant is now my delicious, semi-nutritious, go-to meal. Check it out:

Fried Eggplant

– an eggplant

– olive oil

– salt and pepper

Heat up a pan with a good amount of olive oil in it (let's say 2 T or so). Throw your slices of eggplant in the pan and cook them, turning them over a couple times. I like mine pretty brown, almost burnt, but I hear they're good just heated through, also.

I like to have some marinara handy to dip them in, but they are rockin' plain. V thinks they are awesome, so I must earn points for that.

Okay, last but not least, the greatest salad of all time. I eat this for breakfast a lot.

Rainbow Salad

– spinach

– strawberries

– blueberries

– mandarin oranges

– poppyseed dressing

Combine all the ingredients to the proportions of your liking. It is a very aesthetically pleasing plate, so it's great for serving at parties if you're looking for a healthy fruit/salad option. I've never known anyone not to like it.

I hope this whole email post doohickey works. The pictures might be ginormous. There's no links. But there is this:
List of Last Week’s Labors of Love

May 22, 2011

– a jar of vanilla syrup.

– several bowls of oatmeal (or "open-meal" if you're talking to V).

– TWO nights without children resulting in a real date with G and an evening of half-naked oily men. Maybe a little more explanation…

Date on Friday: Nordeast Minneapolis for a the most amazing sandwich I have ever had and the sweetest darn waitress of all time at Nye's Polonaise Room. Get the Prime Rib Dip- it was deliciously tender and the bread was toasted and amazing and the au jus was salty and I nearly drank it, it was so good. The waitress with awesome pompadour and adorable voice? You were the most fantastic waitress- you never asked us a question when our mouths were full (not easy to do), refreshed our drinks at the perfect time, and took our order by asking, "What would you like for supper?" So cute.

Half-naked men on Saturday: A friend of ours is a bodybuilder and rocked the Mr & Ms Natural Minnesota competition in Bloomington, MN. It was similar to a ballroom competition in the amount of spray tan and disproportionate amount of time performing to time preparing. I'm pretty sure I spent the whole time watching with this look on my face:

It was amazing. Scott, our friend, said he had 3% body fat (or so) the day of the comp. 3%?! One of the guys looked exactly like that drawing of all the muscles. His fake tan was a little reddish.

– some quality dance instruction (RIGHT?!).

– two crocheted toys for the ladies (because the one that talks asked).

– plain old crochet, which never happens once the snow has melted.

– a trip to Crafty Planet with my bestie. I only spent $4.95, but cased out some awesome fabric to coordinate with the baby room in my mind.

– caramel rolls during the week (treat).

– the best lunch ever. It started with this…

– a kick-arse picnic.

– a chandelier that works.

– all sorts of plans for this week.

Tomorrow: my bestest and easiest recipes for scrumdidiliumcious food in a jif.

Tuesday: my most amazing chandelier in the after stages (hung and working).

Wednesday and the rest of the week: good times. They all start here:

That's for you, Frissy.
A great day and the rug

May 20, 2011

Man, Wednesday afternoon rocked my socks off. Not only was it payday, but it was B-U-T-ful outside and my little ladies, G, and I went for a picnic.

Down to the river with some KFC, potato salad, sun and bare feet. Miss Georgia (now referred to as "Mae Cake" by big sis) flirted with everyone that walked, ran, or biked by- smiling and waving and being a cute little goon.

Minnesota? You done good.

Are you ready for Part Two of your rug tutorial? Like, you actually want to crochet something?

Okay, here, we go:

Circle Rug- Part Deux

Make a slip knot (see yesterday's post or look it up on YouTube).

Make 6 chain stitches, then slip stitch into the first chain to make a circle.

Make one chain stitch, then 11 single crochet stitches into the center of the ring. It's fun because you don't have to go into an actual stitch. Squish the stitches together as necessary. (You just made 12 stitches.)

Slip stitch into that lonely chain stitch you made to finish round 2.

Round 3 (and all rounds from here on out) starts with a chain stitch. Now, make one single crochet (sc) into the first stitch of round 2 and then TWO sc into the next stitch. Continue making one sc in a stitch and two sc in the next until you have made 17 sc. ( You have made 18 stitches.)

Slip stitch into your lonely chain to finish round 3.

Round 4- Chain one, make one sc in one stitch, and one sc in the next stitch, and then TWO sc in the third stitch. Continue on your path. One, one, two. You'll make 23 sc. (24 stitches total.)

I hope you're starting to see a pattern. Like a mathy pattern. Each round you do adds 6 stitches to the total number. That's how you get a circle. But don't be anal-retentive. Here's my rule: keep it flat. If your circle starts to look like a bowl, add a few more stitches in the next round. If your circle starts to ruffle, take out a few stitches. If it's just a little wonky looking, you can fix that when you're all done. Really. Patience, grasshopper.

Continue crocheting until you run out of "yarn." Use your handy finishing needle to weave in any loose ends you might have, by threading your fabric in the needle and shoving it through a couple stitches this way and that. If you used different colors like I did, you might have to do this a couple times.

Hint three: if you use different colors or just had several balls to work with, when you start a new piece of yarn, stitch over the loose ends as you go. Then you'll have less work to do at the end.

Hint four: you can be picky and turn and fold your fabric over as you crochet so you get mostly the right side of the fabric facing out, or just let it twist and go as it may for a scrappier look.

If you rug isn't laying flat enough for you, pull it every which way and shake it out a bit. Most of the time, a little shaking works magic (just ask my dancing).

If it's still not right, get it wet (a little bath for your rug) and lay it out in the shape you want it. Outside on your lawn, on a bunch of towels inside, in your tiled bathroom, wherever. Weigh it down on the edges with bricks or books or chairs or children and let it dry. Then, check it out, it's perfect.

That process is called blocking. It's neat.

Then you get this:

Or something like it.

(No naps were harmed in the making of this blog.)

Wow. Happy Friday.
Toot for the Rug

May 19, 2011

I'm going to write a tutorial for my circle rug since I didn't bomb the toot for yo-yos. I'll give you some helpful tips along the way, but I'm assuming you know how to single crochet. And wow, I started writing this last night and didn't realize it was so long. I'm going to get you all prepared today, then have you crochet it tomorrow.

Firstly, it helps if you pronounce it "crow-shet" or "crotch-it," not the fuddy-duddy "crow-shay."

Secondly, don't feel bad if tying a slip knot makes you feel dumb everytime. I often get my little loop on my hook, do a couple chain stitches and then realize I'm using the short end of the yarn.

First hint: hold the end of the yarn in your right hand (if you're right-handed) as you make the knot with your left. Practice. "It's muscle memory!" Dance Teacher Kate would say.

Second hint: if you haven't done a lot of crocheting, do a million chain stitches. I'm kidding. Do a thousand. Somewhere, I heard the tale of a girl who had to make a strand of chain stitches that went from her front door to her back door before she could learn something else. *like.*

Circle Rug

Materials needed:

16 yards of fabric

   I used four different prints of cotton fabric at four yards each.

   Squint your eyes and choose a color you like. Details in the fabric won't show up much and the     wrong side of the fabric shows up every once in awhile also. You're doing Impressionist Crochet.

    If you're local, I highly recommend SR Harris. It's a fabric outlet where everything is 50% off all     the time. They have a great selection, but you might have to dig for something special.

Fabric Scissors

   Those ones you hide from your husband, but he somehow always finds them and uses them to cut     tinfoil or drywall or something, and then "puts back" in the wrong place. Yeah, those.

A big hook

   You can mess around with this and choose whichever one you like best. I used my old school N,     but anything from a K to an S would work.

Some time

   Cutting the fabric correctly seemed to take the longest amount of time. Maybe because it's hard to     hold a wine glass and scissors at the same time. The crocheting part went relatively fast since I     can watch movies as I hook (I'm not too strict on my own pattern).

   One hour cutting, two hours looping

A finishing needle

And, here, we go:

Cut the fabric. This is the doozy.

Get your yardage spread out on the floor, or maybe outside if it's nice. If you have 16 yards of the same thing, you'll either want to head to your nearest football field or cut it into more manageable pieces. I'm using a mini version for the pictures.

Put the selvage edges (the neat, non-cut [self-finished] sides) of your cotton together AND CUT THEM OFF. I didn't do this for my rug and don't mind it too much, but it is kind of silly to have them there. I didn't do it for the pictures so you could tell where I was cutting.

Fold your fabric in half again, but line up the second fold so it's an inch from the top edges.

Cut fabric into strips, leaving the top half-inch or so by the edge intact.

Now, pay attention. Cut through the BOTTOM LAYER of the first strip at the edge. Unravel a nice strip.

Then cut through the TOP LAYER of the second strip.

Cut cutting, going through the bottom layer, then the top layer on every other strip.

Then, you will have this.

I swear, it's all one piece.

Roll it up into a center-pull ball (the kind of ball that doesn't run away from you when you pull more yarn out), or not. If you'd like to make a center-pull ball, here's how (it works for regular yarn, also):

Hold fabric in one hand.

Make a "gun" with your thumb and pointer finger and wrap figure 8s around your gun fingers.

Keep wrapping until you can't handle it anymore.

Take the figure 8 loops off your fingers and fold them in half (or just smush them together).

Wrap your fabric around the loops, making a ball!

Great-grandma! You've done it! Now, when you go to crochet, don't use the loose end (shown laying across the ball), use the end that's coming out from the top. Hence, it will pull from the center and not the circumference and that is neat.

Now you are ready. But I am not. You have to hang out with your balls until tomorrow. We'll crow-shet then.

Love ya.
But this is…

May 18, 2011

Crochet.

I've done a bit of it, apparently. I started on a whim a couple years ago, at the start of my Craft Age. I picked up the book The Happy Hooker, written by Debbie Stoller of Stitch 'n' Bitch fame and BUST magazine at the ol' B&N and got tangled up in some yarn for a few hours.

I'm not usually a very good book-learner. But I was determined. So with my plain, grey, acrylic yarn from the lovely, but pricey Yarnery, I got my borrowed (thanks, Ma!) hook and started loopin'. Maybe there was wine involved. Maybe not. I quite literally read and looped along with that book, until I had tried:

chain stitches

single/double/triple/half-double (no, Gordon, it's not the same as a single)/double-triple/triple-triple (no, I'm not making this up) crochet

slip stitches

making shells, Vs, mesh, bobbles, puffs, popcorn, picot, and fishnet (yeah, I could make my own fishnet tights, but no, I won't)

going around the post in the front and the back

turning a circle

making some filet (not fish)

to figure why my swatch was becoming a trapezoid (it was YOU, turning chain!)

making a granny square. Imagine this in grey:

and torn more than a few rows out.

Then I was good. Well, fair. My friend showed up a few days later and was crazy-faster than me because she held the yarn (I almost wrote "string"- ha!) differently and, clearly, better than I did. After a year, I was able to hold the string like "they" tell you to, but I did a lot of work with my non-hooking fingers to get loops over other loops and whatnot.

Here's a glimpse into my collection after three years or so:

These mini-scarves are called pidges. Neck scarf? Not really a cowl, but great for chilly offices and just looking cool. These were actually all gifts and had some nifty "post work" going on. The second one is a basket weave. Oooooo. I know.

Hats are fun, as I like working in a circle. Again, all gifties. A felted flower on the left one! Putsy! The middle one was for my one-year-old baldy girl baby after her daddy got her all Chicago-Bears'ed-up and everyone thought she was a boy. Ignore the crazy model on the right.

Then: forays into bags and an actual scarf. Patterns are a… fun thing to learn how to read. Maybe there should be wine involved.

This was my latest creation- a little rug for the ladies' room. It's pretty sweet. I'll tell you how to make it tomorrow!

Entourage!- Michael Scott
It’s not crochet

May 18, 2011

I'm going to make a quilt. Not because I know how to, but because I needed another crafty thing to obsess about it. It all started with this quilt:

It's from the amazing Alicia Paulson, over at Posie Gets Cozy (a pretty blog), where she makes stuff like this. I have always thought quilting was an old lady thing to do, where you scrap together leftovers from that prairie skirt you were making to make a useful item to keep you warm at night. First of all, is that so bad? (Well, maybe the prairie skirt part; I have never looked good in those.) Then second, I would find neat-o quilts like this:

Dang, I love lines. (I love lamp.) I mean, the clean, graphic design of this is killer. Simple. This beaut is from Soule Mama, who is my kind of quilter.

Here she is making a quilt with her cutie daughter. How fun is that? I'm pretty sure they made this quilt in a day. I'm not aiming that high, but I'm definitely not hand-stitching the whole thing and I want to do something simple. The stripes seem very do-able. Sew two pieces together and repeat, right? (Are you quilters laughing at me right now?)

Here are the color combos I'm thinking of… They're pretty much identical, but they'll match the girls' room.

I'm thinking about a quilt for an upcoming special occasion gift in these colors:

I hope someone, or two people, don't read this too carefully. Maybe I lost one of them at "quilt." So, 252 words later, he's not reading anymore, right? The lady one? Earmuffs. Or blindfold.

Then let's not hide the fact that my great bro-ski is getting married and I might try to make him and his awesome fiance a quilt for a wedding gift. My bro is great. He lives in the afore-mentioned Ojai, CA and shows little kids how to rock (by teaching music) and surfs and has a sweet album that I jam out to in the car. (Thanks for pic, Derek.)

*removes blindfold from lovely sister-in-law-to-be*

Back to quilts, aren't jelly rolls the cutest?

All the nifty fabric above I found through the Fat Quarter Shop, except for the "ocean" bundle, which was here.

Is fabric the new spray-paint?

I know.
Dogs, dance, and the obvious statement

May 17, 2011

08 Good Day Sunshine

I'm trying not to name my next child after any of my friends' dogs. You're not making it easy: Stella, Gracie, Penelope, Scamp… All good names.

KISS more when you dance. No, no, not that kind… Or else you end up with my last point… Keep It Simple, Stupid. Social dancing or competitive dancing, I don't want to feel the work that you're doing. Do something that you know how to do. It'll be great. Even if it's just a box step.

This great latin pro, Paul Green, and his former partner, Aleksandra Gisher, did a show where they just did bronze-level (beginning, more or less) "figas" for each of their show numbers and it was amazing. Amazing and bronze. Cool.

I'm pregnant. Have been for seven months now. (And off and on for three years or so.) I know that I'm pregnant. You do not need to tell me that I'm pregnant or how I'm getting bigger. Thanks. Please don't ask me how many kids I'm going to have… Seventy-four… I don't know. Three seems like the obvious answer right now.

(This is not me. I couldn't find any preggo pictures of myself right now, so you'll have to wait.)

Sorry about this completely random post. It was fun for me, though. Tomorrow: crochet!

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