I own and rock people’s faces off teaching ballroom dancing at Dancers Studio in St. Paul, MN. My husband and I compete professionally in American style and wrangle eight children in our spare time. I’ve been teaching and competing in ballroom dancing for over 25 years and have lots of opinions on it. I am an expert by any means, but there are quite a few dancers who are better than me and I have a solid knowledge of basic technique, so suck it.
I teach ballroom dance for a living. Since I'm a lady (or am supposed to act like one on the dance floor), I teach men or couples.
It's generally a good time. My couples are super fun and I like being technical, and logical (shut up, G), and making manly dance analogies for my dudes.
"When you get to the 50 yard line, start to turn."
"Use your karate arm here."
"You pivot… like in basketball…"
Clearly, I'm very good at this.
…
But, it is always a treat for me have "ladies only" lessons.
*sigh*
Arm styling. Hip motion. Tips on awkward following moments (inside turn? anybody?). Feelings.
Since I do the ladies' part of partnership dancing, like, 98% of the time, I can often offer insight to certain moves or techniques that us womenfolk do. And offer it in a girly, honest way.
"Put your boob over your toe."
"Feel like you are sticking your arse out."
"Imagine you are a horny teenager." (Thanks, Nathan!)
Many man teachers are amazing at the ladies part (I have several coaches who can dance my choreography better than I can- grrr). But sometimes, it takes a different way of saying "take a heel lead" or seeing someone else (your own gender, maybe) do a back rock to make that thing stick.
For a change of pace, or a boost in your learning curve, try booking a lesson with the lady teacher you most admire. If you're a guy, try out your studio's Alpha Dog for some pointers. Either way, you'll learn something new.
Not just the color. Like recycled. But the "green" thing is over-used. Like here…
Really? A green Hummer?
So, let's call this project upcycled. So much more chic. Or hippy. Whatevs.
I found these homemade bows awhile ago and was intrigued.
But they're harder than they look.
First of all, they require measuring and we all know I'm not a big fan of that.
B) The girl who made them is a paper guru and makes all sorts of neat stuff. (Check out her blog for some crazy-cute nostaglic holiday tags.)
And fourth, I didn't quite have the right tools. I mean, I have old magazines and scissors, but there was mention of "glue dots," which I don't have or know exactly what they are, but I now deem a necessary office supply.
Instead, I used a classy combo of staples, tape, tape, and some more tape.
My first one was a little wonky.
The second one a little less so.
And the third one was a bit crooked.
Practice had no effect on these babies.
Nonetheless, they will all be gracing some Christmas gifties this season. Instead of blue and white or pink, silver, and gold, maybe my gift-wrapping theme will be "odd" this year. Like, I'll put things in old cereal boxes and top them off with a lopsided bow. Neat. "Green."
Then I'll jump in my Hummer.
And then drink my water out of a plastic bottle and throw it away.
I was cruising the interwebs the other day and came across this lady's cute crochet coffee cozy pattern (alliteration is awesome). I kept poking around her blog and found out she makes, like, a million hats a month and has cute patterns available for purchase. And she gives out 50% off coupons. Maybe, she even gives them out in this very blog post… *gasp*
I'm in.
I'd been trying this other crocheted hat pattern for a few years now that never came out the way it looked in the picture. But I'm stubborn and thought it would work out eventually. Eight times later, I'm pretty sure it just won't turn out the way I think it should.
My neat little hat. Terrible picture, sorry. But it really does look just like her picture!
I used Lamb's Pride Bulky yarn in Violet Fields (totally my color) for the majority of the hat (one of my favo yarns) and a little Full o' Sheep yarn (doubled up) in Little Lamb for the accents.
You are all getting one for Christmas.
It's so easy! I think it took me three hours total to complete (with children under hook "helping me yarn," coffee breaks, and watching Season 7 of The Office) and the pattern was generally easy to follow. I didn't see fit to make any "improvements" (AKA, mistakes) along the way. I even checked the gauge as suggested!
Turns out I can follow directions, Ma!
I'm definitely going to make a few more of these just for kicks with different yarns. I think it'd be a good project for a yarny-type get-together. *clears throat* If someone were going to yarny-type gathering that is. *more throat clearing* Or hosting one.
…
Yeah, when I host my stitch 'n' bitch party in a couple weeks, once someone clues me in on how to knit, I think I'll crank out one of these babies to soak up my tears of boredom. (Yes, I'm insinuating that knitting is boring.)
Here's the best part of this whole post (you thought the best part was the ellipsis, I know):
And as implied earlier, she's throwing you guys a 50% off coupon for this very hat pattern! Woop woop! Just click on this here link, crochet hat pattern, and enter the code RIOTPATTERN50 at checkout. Yeah, that's right. It's nearly free. Come on!
This year, I hosted Thanksgiving, and much to my ma's surprise, I can cook okay.
I give her a pass on her amount of amazement since I haven't been known to follow directions or have the greatest common sense in the past. Note: years ago, I thought I could get to Duluth by heading west from St. Paul. It wasn't until I was past St. Cloud that I thought something might be amiss.
Ah, youth.
Anyhoo, Turkey Day…
I got all my recipes from the interwebs, because other than the Joy of Cooking, that's how I roll. (Now I just found the JOC website. What?!)
From the Delicious Dish, errr, Splendid Table website, I found my turkey recipe. Um, hello, pureed bacon.
I really wanted to try this "40 cloves of garlic" business for the bird since I'd been seeing a similar recipe for chicken all over the Pinterest and how it made the best chicken and it was so tender. And a turkey is just a big chicken, right?
No.
You have to pull the neck out of a turkey.
Oh Lord.
Really. I need a minute, just…
Ew.
And yet… Strangely satisfying.
Okay.
The turkey was awesome. Here it is all rubbed down with goodness the night before its big day.
See that bag of garlic cloves it's chillin' with? Pain in the arse. Thankfully, America was around to help whack the heads of garlic with a "sturdy saucepan" to loosen the skins (then hunt down the rogue cloves that shot across the kitchen) and peel all those bad boys. Oy.
Sweet potaters got this treatment, but with a whole stick of butter. Because, come on, they're sweet potatoes.
I used the classic Campbell's recipe for green bean casserole because that's what you do. Except I used sour cream instead of milk and added crumbled bacon on top. Because that's what I do.
Then, the damn pie.
I make chocolate pecan pie and I love it and it's easy and everyone else loves it even if they don't think they will (because nuts in your dessert is generally lame, but not lame in this case). I used the recipe from the Ye Olde Joy of Cooking.
It took my four tries to get an edible pie.
1. You are supposed to "warm the crust" in the oven before filling it. I rather felt like "burning the crust" before filling it. Good thing I had extra crusts.
2. You are supposed to bake the pie in an oven at 375 degrees. I had mine at 450 degrees. Result: burnt top layer, gooey (in a bad way) inside. Apparently, pecan pie is a "custard" that is "heat-sensitive," which I read after burning it.
3. As the G was reminding me to melt the chocolate slowly, I was turning it into little crusty chunks. Seriously. Simultaneously.
4. Crust warmed, oven at correct temp, chocolate creamy, pie finished.
My folks brought over the mashed potatoes (which were awesome), ice cream for the pie, and canned cranberry sauce (because the real kind is frowned upon in these parts). My grandma brought her wicked gravy-making skills and proceeded to make some wicked gravy.
Dinner complete. Completely eaten. I felt like we should have leftovers for two weeks, but they are basically gone. We are pigs.
How was your Thanksgiving? Did you host it? Run a 5k? Get amazing food for free at your relatives'? Get crappy food at your relatives? Dish, people!
– a full week with my posts on the scheduled days and subjects. Score.
– Whaaaa? Have you forgotten? I'm totally on a schedule…
Monday- what you're reading. I like to refer it as the LLLL post.
Tuesday– foooooooood. Nom. Let's go eat. Hopefully a recipe. Or a disater. Or a success.
Wednesday– Crafty Crafterton. I even have this week's post in the chute. So excited.
Thursday– The Pinterest Project. Often mixing my mediocre crafting and mediocre kitchening skills.
Friday– my ballroom dance posts. Let's call them "dance rants."
– realization that my properly labeling an image "fushcia" has directed a lot of people to my website. Hi, new peeps! For fun, go to here. See that first image? Yeah, that's me.
– a chilly, but exhilarating ride on my scooter. Um, how awesome is it? Real Awesome. That's right, capital "A." Can. Not. Wait. For. Spring.
Only. Six. Months. Away.
Love you, Minnesota!
– my first Thanksgiving. This picture does not accurately depict the amount of food we had. There was tons.
It was good. My turkey rocked. The sweet potatoes were cake [easy]. There was a prevalence of bacon. However, the pie, my pie (the easiest thing, in my mind, to make) took me four tries. But it was a winner in the end. Let's talk about that tomorrow. I'm still a little upset.
– a family trip to the Minnesota Zoo. We finally cashed in the gift certificate we had gotten last Christmas and bought a family membership. EEEEEEEEE! CAN I TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM?
I'm excited.
A) The girls freaking love the zoo.
B) There is a little play area for ONE TO THREE YEAR OLDS!
C) I freaking love the zoo.
What else do I need? Well, there are lots of benefits. I'm p-syched. (Does anyone else have to say that while they're typing the word "psyched"? Clearly, I do.)
He might be crazy, but he's still pretty handsome.
After many discussions with many people, experts (well, me) agree that Bronze dancers should know these things…
the basic timing for each dance
when to start a dance in time with the music
how to continue dancing in time to the music
Please, please do that. Or return to Go and do not collect $200.
how to step sideways, forward, and backward in a particular order to make up a pattern of a dance
the basic footwork of a dance
how to dance a basic figure on your own
the directions of movement on the floor (line of dance [LOD], diagonal wall [DW], diagonal center [DC])
I'm surprised how many people cannot tell which direction they're stepping. Maybe people should look at their feet more often. Men, you especially. It's sideways. Straight. To. The. Side.
Ladies, you too need to be able to dance a basic figure on your own. Saying that you "just follow" is pleading ignorance. Us ladies don't "just do" anything.
standing "straight" and providing tone through your frame
introducing use of rise and fall and latin motion in the respective dances
Don't make your partner hold you up. Don't just do "moves." Have some technique.
Bonus points include…
knowing what dance(s) you can use to a particular song
having great posture and solid frame
If this seems a little short or brusque, it's so the idea is clear. Note that these ideas should be in place before you are doing Bronze figures or attending Bronze classes. Of course, you will continue to improve upon your use of them as you progress.
Mostly, I'm looking for What (clear movement from foot to foot, correct use of feet) and When (timing, timing, and more timing) at the Bronze level.
Want to know what Silver dancers should be doing? Stayed tuned for next week's installment!
This week is another installment of Sock Hair, or heat-free styling. Whatever. Many of you know about my love affair with the sock bun (not the difficult, rolling kind, but the lazy, made-for-the uncoordinated kind) and now I'm going to start cheating on my bun with this hairstyle…
Yes, this girl is adorable and her tutorial is simple. And it works. I might have to send her a thank-you basket.
After cooking and prepping for hosting my first family Thanksgiving (more about that next week), I made my way up my creaky stairs, feeling half-drunk with sleep deprivation and smelling strongly of garlic, and I still remembered to take pictures of this process.
BTW, the wave in my hair is from the top knot I had in all day.
Why I chose to use knee-high socks, I'm not sure. I would suggest something shorter. Duh.
My shirt is from Calhoun Bike Rental and is hilarious. One of my "suggestive shirts." I have a small collection. Click on the link to see their slogan.
Six hours later, I woke up to prepare for the Turkey Day 5k and unrolled my new 'do. You can't tell by the photo, but it was sweet.
I do recommend making sure your ends are rolled under or they'll get all sticky outy. On one side, I wasn't so careful. On the other side, I was.
I kind of ruined my sweet curls by doing this…
Which made me look like this…
But it was fun. We were 8 minutes under our goal!
No, I will not tell you what our goal was.
And finally, today, let's give thanks for things like…
Besides eating a bunch of popcorn and getting drunk by myself, my other late-night activities include sewing and crocheting. I mean, the only reason I put the ladies to bed is to give me time to get stuff done. Sleep, be damned! *shake fist in the air*
(Similarly to how I will never add up the amount of money I've spent on ballroom dance, I will not give any math-time to how much sleep I have gotten since having children. Too much time spent thinking about either sum would make me feel appalled and exhausted, respectively. Plus, math is for nerds.)
Last night, I finished up my Christmas present to my bestie. For Christmas 2010.
It's a pretty easy little throw pillow for her awesomely retro couch (pattern from Crochet Today). I added my now-signature yo-yo to the back because I'm cheesy like that.
I also whipped up a couple pillow covers for my ladies. I made them a reading nook in their bedroom closet this summer and had literally tied some cloth over a couple huge pillows for make-shift covers.
Needless to say, the knot covers don't stay on very well. What was I thinking?
I happened to have 5 yards of this blue floral in my attic. Why in the world did I have 5 yards of this? I've had it since before the G and I were married, so my plan from the past escapes me.
I just wanted them to be functional and done, so I started sewing and everything worked out pretty well. I guess I made an "envelope pillowcase," so that's cool that they have a name.
Here's how lazy I am while sewing, though:
I didn't measure anything. I just put the pillow near the fabric and eyeballed everything.
I gave myself 5 pins to work with. I hate pinning. That's why we have hands, right? To hold things!
I made my sewing machine go as fast as it could go. It was scary! Pedal to the metal!
I didn cut any threads if they were on the inside of the pillow. I mean, who's going to check my craftmanship? Oh, you're going to now, aren't you?
Anywho, major upgrade on the cuteness/non-ghetto scale.
I'll go ahead and assume you are because I always am and we're friends.
You should go ahead and make some popcorn. And not the lame microwave kind.
Stove-Top Popcorn
Ingredients
– oil
– popcorn
Get a large pot and dump a bit of oil in it. I don't measure; that's for suckers. Use this much.
Throw a few kernels of popcorn in, cover the pot, and turn the heat on medium-high.
Drink some water. It's good for you.
Once your random kernels pop, that's your sign that the oil is hot. Pour in enough popcorn to cover the bottom of the pot in a single layer. I went on the light side since it was band practice night and the little ladies are asleep. AKA, Kate's eating all this popcorn while watching 30 Rock and drinking a White Russian.
Hang out for a bit. Let those kernels explode. Don't mess with it until the pops are 3 seconds apart. Then you're done!
Empty the pot into a bowl and top with whatever you like. Me gusta butter y salt. Or peanut butter.
– Friday, I started the day off right with the amazing fourth installment of the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn: Part 1 with my ladies, America and Ms. Brown. Amazing might be the wrong word. It was terribly AWESOME, in case you're wondering. Just note the "terribly" part, too. Be prepared for lots of sexual innuendo (what happens on a honeymoon and why is everyone so worried about it?), talking wolves (are we suddenly watching a cartoon? I'm confused), and general acting choices of constipated vs. tortured from all cast members. Will I see it again? DEFINITELY!
Then, we headed down to the Cheesecake Factory for a movie recap and gluttony. Mmmm, cheesecake.
After that, there was a bit of conspiring amongst my friends and rascal husband, as America and Ms. Brown lured me into a trap with words like "crafty store" and "Anthropologie-like." We mysteriously ended up at Scooterville (a stop on the way to the artsy-fartsy store perhaps? I thought) to ogle their nifty retro wheels. After wandering the store and admiring a few "scoots," I saw one particular one that got to me. "Ha! This one has a Polish eagle on it. That's so cool."
Enter the G with a shit-eatin' grin on his face.
Mine is actually way cooler than that one. I don't have any pictures that feature the eagle properly yet, so here's something to help your imagination.
So, now I will be doing this a lot.
Ciao.
Your husbands are all in trouble now, aren't they?
– Saturday, the fun continued as I met up with The Maladroit Wife and a new friend (new friends! yay! does anyone else have trouble making lady-friends nowadays? maybe it's because I use words like "lady-friends" and "nowadays"…) for coffee-drinking and vintage fabric shopping. And regular fabric shopping. And craft-mania. Like, I was actually a little manic the whole time. Squirrel!
We visited digs, a ridiculously cute shop with fabric, trims, yarn and free cookies in the back. Yeah, you heard me. Free cookies. Sewtropolis is a sweet, little store/studio where you can rent a sewing machine by the hour. Neat!
The first Minnesota snow "storm" did not deter us from heading up to Crafty Planet for the release of One Yard Wonders 2 and some more craft extravaganza-ing. I finally bought Handmade Beginnings by Anne Maria Horner, so I could make these cute pants for my ladies. They are reversible and adorable. I have been admiring projects from the book for awhile, and SouleMama recommends it, so I'm game.
– The last day of my incredible weekend included more of The Wife and the Book Club ladies at Pizza Luce. It was my pick this month and I choose Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby because I generally love his stuff. I say "generally" because I didn't even read my own book pick. Oops. Well, the beer and talking was good.
Then, my darling G took me out to dinner after wrangling America to watch the wee bairns. We consumed mass goods at Burger Moe's. Cheese curds, bison burger, fries, beer. Um, guess who ran this morning?
– B-T-Dubs (that's "by the way" for all you all who were lost for two seconds), how does one go about running outside in the winter? Besides slowly and with many layers? I didn't fall down and that was good enough for me.
Riot and Frolic 