a mostly ballroom dance, but also a bunch of other stuff, blog
Ladies-
Your hair is did, your makeup is on, so please remember to pencil in eyebrows. I need to be able to see them from across the ballroom.
This is not a good look. 
BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE IF YOU DON'T DO YOUR EYEBROWS.
Peace out.
And straighten your tie.
This has been a bad day. Not like epicly bad or anything. Just the kind of bad that is full of meaningless frustrations and inconveniences that make you want start chewing tobacco just to spit and shake your head like you're in an old Western and some fool city slicker done untied the horses and left the barn door open and now I have to go clean it up when all I want to do is chew more tobacco and have a quiet lunch with my posse. Or something.
But I'm not going to complain to you, dear reader, because who really EVER wants to listen to someone's complaints?
NO ONE.
Unless you're commiserating, and then it is FUN. And should be done over alcoholic beverages.
Anyhoo…
I spent a little time over the weekend preparing to get my knit on. I have this crazy idea as a birthday present for my broski.
I'll give you the preview.
Yes, that's a spreadsheet. And the word "nerd" in the middle of it. And a whole lot of "p"s and "k"s.
Some of you might know where I'm going with this. If you don't, don't despair. I'll show you the final product next week.
Until then, wish me luck on my dance competition Friday (info here).
No, seriously.
Do it.
Now.
Here's a list of recipes I've gotten recently that I'm dying to try. And by "dying," I mean, "hoping to make in the next year". Because I get excited about a lot of things and forget about some of them. Remind me about this later, okay?
[Photo source: Bakerella. This site is awesome, BTW. Her pictures are tasty.]
The recipe is a trusted one from my long-time dance coach, who's kind of awesome at cooking. It should be delicious.
And though Wikipedia will tell you differently, the "red" comes from food coloring, not some scientific combustion of chemicals between the buttermilk and cocoa powder. *disappointed*
[Photo source: What's Cookin, Chicago?]
Just typing them words made me drool. *wiping chin and continuing on…*
Also known as Indian Butter Chicken (I love all of those words- Liz Lemon), this is my favofavofavo thing to order at the best Twin Cities Indian restaurant, India Palace. Oh crap, that place is good.
If I could make this stuff at home, my whole family will be breathing fire for weeks at a time. I'm hoping to start off the fire-breathing dragons with a birthday dinner for my bestie, who introduced me to the cuisine of India just a couple years ago.
[Photo source: The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie]
I know how to make cookies. Sort of.
So, I flipped out when I found this "what went wrong with your cookie" chart on Pinterest last night. My cookies very often look like #4. Or #2. Sometimes I get a #5. Every once and awhile I come up with a #6.
Let's just say they never look perfect.
I want that damn #1.
This website has the key. It has secrets, I would even say. Tasty, beautiful, cookie secrets.
And those are the best kind.
What's on your list of things to cook? Baking anything amazing? Healthy snacks to recommend?
You're a tasty dish.
– new favorite thing: parchment paper!
How come I never knew about this stuff?
Remember how I was trying to clean my craptacular pans? I had many readers suggest that I just get new pans, because, um, yuck.
After it was implied that they were beyond saving, I went on a burning-more-stuff-on-them rampage. Just to prove that I could ruin a non-stick coating with the best of them.
They're pretty disgusting now. I'm proud of my work.
But now I'm also a little grossed out.
I finally mustered up some spending gusto and went a'clickin' on the Amazons. I bought a roll of parchment paper and tried it out with some bread. And then some pizza. And then some muffins.
Dude, nothing sticks to it!
And you're cooking on paper, so that's combustible and risky.
But it's not really, because you can use in a 450 degree (or less, duh) oven and it's nonstick. And it's neat.
I'm going to make FISH in it. It's called "fish en papillote" in French, so obviously, it's a classy move.
– actual over easy eggs!
I have not had any skillz in this area and I finally got two good ones. And promptly ate them.
– 3 sick girls. Oy. That's a lot of whining. And drinking. And that's just me. The girls whined a bit too, but I mostly keep them away from the liquor.
– dancing in public. Usually I save my awesome tango face for the competition floor, but I unleashed it in the wild this weekend on my date with the G. It got a little out of control since I try to make up for my "creative following" with facial expressions and arm styling.
– saw an movie in the theater. Mission: Impossible 4. So fun! The stunts are amazing. I spent most of the movie with my mouth hanging open after saying "no way!"
The Winchester.
This is now a very short list.
Not to be materialistic (but I am, so let's there), but this Christmas was AWESOME, if only because I got the most amazing stuff.
There was some crazy expensive stuff that I wanted and never thought I would own (Kitchenaid mixer, MZ Wallace bag) that I got, plus some things I totally wanted, but didn't know I wanted until I got them (tea, towels, family photos, family recipes, coffee mugs, a freaking scooter…).
Awesome.
So, now, I feel sated, mostly, in the material realm.
But just in case you were wondering, here's some more crazy stuff I'd like:
Notice I don't say 8 hours, because that's just being greedy. I think a good 7 hours of shuteye would really turn my world around. I'm pretty sure this will happen at the same time Mae Cake is potty trained and V starts changing ZooZoo's diapers while I knit and drink non-acidic coffee on my couch and my cabana boy massages my feet.
Not that I'm complaining, but maybe I could upgrade to an actual camera camera, instead of using my iPhone camera (namely the Hipstamatic app) for everything. I really don't think the iPhone camera does a bad job, but since I am taking photo aplenty, maybe I could justify this at some point.
I've checked out this one about a limmion (that's like a million, but more) times, but I have no idea. I'd like something that does action and low light well, and isn't so big that I feel like I'm carrying around a fourth child.
Any recommendations? I know a lot of good photographers and I need your help!
The G leaves for another week in February.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I kid.
I will not enjoy the 8 days he will be gone.
At all.
Just to be clear: it will suck to have him gone.
No, really, I have a pain in my lower neck/shouldery region that's been hanging out since New Year's Day. The only reason I have for it's existence is my constant hand clapping and pounding of tables on New Year's Eve night. (The G's Irish band was playing and totally rocking it, so I was laughing like a hyena and wooping it up. Good times.)
But too much clapping? That's lame!
Maybe it's something cooler like… from… being… too cool. For school.
Yep. I'm going with that.
Because who doesn't want this?
This one is frustrating because I know exactly what I want and even have some "mockups" and "thumbnails" done (The Office, anyone? Anyone? *sigh*), but can't bring myself to make up anymore code.
DAMN YOU, CODE! Yes, I mean you, HTML and CSS! I hates you, and your whole family!
I just want someone to do it for me. For free. Today. Or tomorrow. I'm flexible.
The End.
Um, but Jude Law, says "today", sooooo…
I've encountered a few things lately which I have not liked and felt I should write them down so I will remember them better. Because I'm one of those people who will keep eating something just to finish it even it tastes bad. When I've ordered it before and not liked it.
Things I Don't Like:
Gross. So gross!
My lovely sister-in-law got me a bunch of tea for Christmas. I was stoked since I had been wanting to drink tea for over a month, but didn't have any. I was making my way through the variety pack and was digging the Lemon Ginger, English Breakfast, and Mango Something or Other, then I came upon Earl Grey.
It's a legacy, right? I mean, he was an Earl named Grey, so clearly, there's some history there. (Well, the history is here, actually.) As a history buff (no, I'm not), I thought that would qualify me to enjoy a cuppa.
But no.
It tastes like Aveda products. Namely, Firmata. [Cue nightmares of anxious hours in front of the hotel bathroom mirror spraying Firmata hairspray and drying it to a cement-like finish with a blowdryer on low before dance competitions.]
The G came home while I was drinking it and I made him drink it.
"But I don't like coffee or tea anyway," he said.
"Yeah, but drink this just to confirm you don't. You'll be like, 'Oh gross, that's why I don't like tea!'"
And he did. And it was definitely confirmed.
So, no more Earl Grey for this house. It's strictly chamomile and lavender or whatever from now on. Or coffee. Blessed coffee.
Minnesota and global warming go together like peanut butter and Cheetos.
Yes, they are that awesome together.
42 dregrees on January 5? Yes.
Obviously, child car seats are a necessity.
That said, they are a pain in the ass.
Buy a bigger car, throw your back out getting that kid in the middle seat, anchor those babies with 72 hooks and straps, then try to put them in someone else's car.
Good times.
And Sarah, if you're trying to get into every college in the five state area, maybe you should put down the correct phone number.
This, I like
This is not a comprehensive list. It's just whatever came to mind in my attempt not to sum up 2011 or make predictions for 2012.
Right!
If you missed yesterday, you really missed out and you should hit that "previous" button up there and check it out.
You SHOULD know what Ryan Gosling was talking about, but if you don't, then you need to jump on the "I love ballroom dancing" wagon and see the GREATEST BALLROOM DANCE MOVIE OF ALL TIME.
Strictly Ballroom, people. Watch it.
It's true life.
NEXT!
My bro-in-law just shared some neat news with us and that made me remember to check out the furniture he's been making via The Interwebs on this thing called A Website.
Turns out, HE MAKES AWESOME STUFF! OUT OF RECLAIMED BARNS! Holy crap, how much do I want one of the aaaaaaaaamazing dining room tables? SOOOOOO MUCH! (It looks like this table and Strong Oaks Woodshop takes requests, so…)
NEXTLY!
This song rocks. The video rocks (only this acoustic version video, the real video frightens me a little).
V and I sing it. Yes, my 3 year old and I sing it. She nails it. I don't.
Mae Cake says "Mommy!" each time she sees Janelle Monáe, which I take as a huge compliment since I am neither a fantastic singer or a black lady workin' some fabulous hair. In truth, my hair is rarely fabulous. And I couldn't even be described as "tan". But thanks, Mae, really.
MY LIFE IS BETTER BECAUSE OF MY KITCHENAID MIXER!
Just for kicks, I mixed up my awesome turkey-gorg burgers in it. Because I could. And I did.
Then I washed the bowl, and dried it, just so I could see my happy face shining back at me.
IT'S SO BIG!
That's what… *sigh*
My new purse.
Through an amazing set of circumstances involving a very helpful blog commenter and my freakishly sneaky and neato friends, I got my bag.
I sneaked six cans of soda into a movie theater. And I still had all my regular junk in it (wallet, diapers enough for the Octomom's babies, phone, lighter for the occasional cig, two baby bottles, etc.). Oh, and 3 bags of candy.
Huge. No joke.
And yet my grandma-in-law and little sisters-in-law and everyone else that I've run into loves it.
I'm cool.
I SCOOTED ON DECEMBER 31!
I don't have a picture, but I scooted around town on Killer (yes, he has a name now) on December 31. In Minnesota.
I felt like a bad ass. On my 50cc moped.
Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I'll start spy training any day now. That's how BA I am.
And then I will make out with him.
So, winning!
UPDATE!———- 1/5———-
THIS FACT…
5. In the 1980s, Pablo Escobar’s Medellin Cartel was spending $2,500 a month on rubber bands just to hold all their cash.
Read the full text here: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/112207#ixzz1ie1i1RcJ
–brought to you by mental_floss!
Happy 2012, peeps.
Happy Night Before The Night Before Christmas!
Somebody gets awful excited for Christmas, even when somebody knows what is in all the presents underneath the Christmas tree.
There are no presents under there for me yet, but I'm only slightly worried. The G knows I'm easily wooed with gifts. And as we've seen in the past, he aims to please.
Today, I'm going to give you a simple tutorial on how to make a wreath.
It's crazy easy.
Ingredients:
Wallah! (Or "Viola!" or "Voila [with an accent over the a]!", depending on your education.)
This whole thing took me maybe twenty minutes and 7 of those minutes were deciding what to decorate the plain wreath with. (I like to end sentences with prepositions, so there. I'm in English teacher mode today, apparently.)
I recommend making these for others, so they give you candy, or just for holiday cheer. Whatevs.
HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY!
Happy Hanukkah? Yep, and Jolly Kwanzaa and Good Boxing Day.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night and God bless us, everyone and all that stuff.
MWAH!
Topical.
I hosted a "stitch 'n' bitch" over the weekend.
As I said yesterday, I want to come up with a less crass name for crafting and hanging out. Here's my terrible ideas so far…
Okay, I'll stop. Let me know if you come up with something.
Here's our menu…
I was stoked to host this for a lot of reasons. One: I got to use my mixer for the first time.
Two: I made this awesome looking cake. (I used this cake recipe and this frosting recipe.)
Three: I made pomegranate sangria.
Four: I got to eat and drink said cake and sangria. They were delish.
Five: I got to spend a relaxing afternoon with some neat ladies, who have Skillz.
Like, my crafty heroine has a loom. You know, just a loom, hanging around the house. A loom, I tell you. A looooooooom. Fricking sweet.
Six: I learned how to knit. Well, I learned how to knit and like it. I'm playing around with different holds for the needles, but I already finished my first homework project from my teach, Mrs. Dessert.
Oh. And next to my dishcloth/burpcloth is one of those braided paper balls I was talking about yesterday. Neat.
Do you want to craft with us? Let me know if you're interested! We can plan a crafty fiesta (in a well-lit public place with lots of witnesses, so you don't think I'm trying to kidnap you). Check out this awesome site about knitting in bars – don't you think we should?
——–UPDATE!———1/3/11———-
The masses are assembling for a shindig. My friendly stalker (hey, Rach!) says she wants to come even though she doesn't know how to knit/crochet. NOT A REQUIREMENT, I say. Hell, I make it up as I go along, anyhoo. A
And acronyms, people. They're so… 2012. Rhyming is totally 2011 ("stitch 'n' bitch"- pshaw!). Can we think of a neato acronym for our crafty get-together?
Like HONK (Honeys Out Naughty Knitting) or CAKEcake (Crochet And Knit, Eat cake) or YODEL (Yarn Over, Drink, Eat… Legit). I think all of these are a good idea.
Hooks it up, peeps! (Bad crochet pun not intended.) Keep emailing/calling/FBing and I'll get the word out on the when and where soon!
Very attractive hobbit
Riot and Frolic 