Riot and Frolic

DON’T DANCE [What You See]- Episode V- Body Contact- Part Deux

March 8, 2012
Let's pick up where we left off yesterday– in pain and unable to move. And that was just from watching dance. [Ba-dum ching!]

Seriously though, men, stop doing this:

Could his left arm BE anymore on her side?

Several things could have happened here:
- he could have pulled her in with his right hand farther than he could handle with his left
- she might have stepped in to body contact with him and he didn't know how to do it
- he has no idea where his left arm is in relation to his own body, let alone his partner's.
Often, it's the third option.

Men, put your back against a wall and put your arms up at shoulder height, parallel to the floor, touching the wall (you'll look like a "t"). Now bend your elbows into dance position. Make sure that your left hand isn't very far from the wall. Your arms during body contact position aren't quite there, but they're pretty close.

Another test: while with a partner, "windshield wiper" your left hand (her right) and forearm back and forth. If you hit her in the head, your arm is on her side.

Here's another fun shot at body contact:

soooo close

Well, they're dancing together alright. Like, Together. They are, in fact, so close Together, the poor man can't get a decent size step.

Ladies and gentlemen, the goal of body contact is NOT to smash as much of your bodies Together as you can. It is to move together around a small common center.

If you can't maintain body contact yet, don't worry! I'd rather see a couple dance comfortably being a little bit apart than see a couple struggling around the floor showing "contact" position.

If what you just read sounded like nonsense, you probably shouldn't be dancing in body contact. *sigh* But you still will.

So here's a nice way to practice partnering in closed position:

     1. The man invites the lady to dance.

Hello, please come dance with me.

     2. The lady accepts his offer. [Small child wooping it up: optional.]

Why, thank you. I'd love to.

     3. LADY SETS THE DISTANCE SHE IS COMFORTABLE DANCING WITH THIS MAN.

Ladies, stop where you like. Whether it be a foot away or six inches or grazing his side, stop where you are happy.

Men, DO NOT pull her in any closer. EVER.

I feel lovely THIS far away from you.

    4. Man closes his right hand on lady's back.

Ladies, DO NOT put your left hand on his shoulder yet. You'll screw everything up.

My, it's a lovely day to dance with you.

5. Lady closes her hand on man's shoulder. [Closing your eyes: optional.]

Shall we dance?

And awaaaaay we go.

Next up: lady's "shaping". Oh Lord.

Bits and Pieces:

Happy Casimir Pulaski Day. Of course, the G found this out by looking here.

I just registered for the TC Marathon. *hyperventilating* Someone tell me this was a good idea.

Guess what I'm watching?
DON’T DANCE [What You See]- Episode V- Body Contact

March 7, 2012

Due to some scheduling difficulities, today's subject will be tomorrow's subject, also. Like, it'll be in two parts. Like, I'll start telling you something today and then I'll illustrate it on Thursday. Like, a to-be-continued!

My name is Kate. I can write.

You see this…

And duh, you want to look like that.

She looks so graceful and so lovely.

He looks so manly and so in control.

They look so together and so… effortless.

Dancing in Body Contact should make your dancing easier and prettier.

So why doesn't it?

Dancing in Body Contact should not be painful or impede your movement.

So why does it?

Let's find out why tomorrow!

I'm like an episode of 24– leaving you hanging just when you need to find out more!

Here to save the world from bad dancing- Jack Bauer.

Eat It

March 6, 2012

Right?! I'm pretty sure I knew this better than the Michael Jackson version when I was younger. Blame my broski and Dr. Demento. (Check out this slightly-creepy video of one of my fav songs from the late-night radio show.)

While I'm singing "Star Trekkin', across the universe, on the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!" (see the link above, really), I'm also obsessing over Downton Abbey (not Downtown, you boob [like I thought]) and the soup I made Sunday.

I have no pictures of the process because I ATE IT ALL!

Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup

Ingredients:

4 red peppers, roasted and seeded, duh

1 can of crushed tomatoes (28 or 29 oz. can? can't remember! it's big)

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/2 white onion, chopped

4 cloves of garlic, peeled and minced

1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar

1 teaspoon oregano

2 teaspoons basil

1 teaspoon sea salt (or whatever kind you have)

pinch of crushed red peppers

Directions:

In a large saucepan, heat olive oil and cook onions and garlic until translucent. While onions and garlic are cooking, blend roasted red peppers in a blender or food processor until pureed. Add pureed peppers, crushed tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, and spices to the saucepan and simmer until you can't stand it anymore.

Eat.

I happened to have roasted garlic on hand, so I used that instead of cooking the garlic with the onions. If you choose to use roasted garlic, throw it in the blender with the red peppers.

If you happen to have canned or jarred red peppers in your pantry, you're, like, 10 minutes from some awesome sauce. Or soup. Whatevs.

I topped it with some grated parmesan cheese, sea salt, and crazy bread.

I personally, am going to use this on EVERYTHING. It is my new pizza sauce, my bread dip of choice, super soup… hell, I might even add vodka to it for a après-enfants cocktail.

Yes, it's that good.

Check it, I even got you nutritional info! Woop woop woop!

Nutrition Facts
4 Servings

Amount Per Serving

Calories		120.8

Total Fat		3.9 g

	Saturated Fat	0.5 g

	Polyunsaturated Fat	0.5 g

	Monounsaturated Fat	2.6 g

Cholesterol		0.0 mg

Sodium		515.3 mg

Potassium		586.0 mg

Total Carbohydrate		20.1 g

	Dietary Fiber	4.8 g

	Sugars	3.0 g

Protein		4.3 g


Vitamin A	58.0 %

Vitamin B-12	0.0 %

Vitamin B-6	15.0 %

Vitamin C	110.7 %

Vitamin D	0.0 %

Vitamin E	7.4 %

Calcium	8.8 %

Copper	18.3 %

Folate	6.5 %

Iron	18.5 %

Magnesium	10.0 %

Manganese	18.3 %

Niacin	12.2 %

Pantothenic Acid	5.6 %

Phosphorus	6.4 %

Riboflavin	6.1 %

Selenium	1.7 %

Thiamin	10.0 %

Zinc	3.6 %

*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.

Hey. Have a great day. See you tomorrow for Dance Rant.

He's not ALWAYS naked

List of Last Week’s Labors of Love

March 5, 2012

– made chicken makhani and garlic naan for my bestie's "birthday" dinner.

Everything was pretty decent tasting, though I'll be messing around with the recipes a bit (could that naan BE any more dense?). The makhani was surprisingly simple to make (like making marinara sauce) once I had all the ingredients. But son-of-a-biscuit, if I didn't forget one of the most important ones. What the hell? Because "Madras curry" looks so much like "garam masala"? Hmph.

– taxes done and refund on it's way. Yay! Refund! 2012 and our missing first floor bathroom go together like explosions and Michael Bay.

- a date, a date, a real date! The G and I went to dinner at Hazel's, near my old 'hood. I had imagined it more upscale than it turned out to be and I mean that in a good way. We had an appetizer, two entrees, and beer for under $40! You MUST get the jalapeño vinaigrette on your salad or for your french fries or just drink it because it is awesome. AWESOME! Also, their sweet potato fries are worth writing in a blog about. See? I just did.

– proof that there are nerds who can do a decent crossover break, as requested.

– Eden Prairie Center is the best mall [ever]! We might have to move to Eden Prairie now. (If anyone else gets this joke, congratulations. It's you and me.)

Anyhoo, if you need your iPhone fixed (like you shattered the glass, perhaps), check out the iDoctor. There are a few delightfully-geeky guys (I bet they have hot wives) who will replace broken pieces or soup up your phone with custom colored glass.

– the largest sandwich ever. Thank you, Burger Moe's. Thank you.

– looking for more dance rants? Don't worry. They're a-comin'. Pictures included. Very official.

– a 5 mile run. What. What? Yes. 5. It's an insane amount of steps for someone who couldn't run a block without stopping two years ago.

So, have some awesome new shoes.

he does NOT star in Chronicle
DON’T DANCE [What You See]- Episode IV- the crossover break

March 2, 2012

You see this.

You like this.

You know this figure.

So, you go dance this.

No. I mean, you go Dance this.

With gusto.

In front of judges.

And you do it all wrong.

First of all, you think The Face needs to be made. So you make The Face.

But let's be honest- if you are dancing at the Bronze (borderline, if you're Silver) level, you are not putting that much emphasis on your crossover break to merit that face. So you're just making a face. Not The Face.

The dancers above have just used quite a bit of speed, wind-up, and extension, and maybe even a little dramatic pause (fun!), to achieve the above look… and face.

Plus, those white shoes are fantastic, and that's something to get crazy about.

Here's what you look like…

Maybe I confused you with the general attractiveness of the demonstrating couple.

But they do not look awesome.

First of all, why are they dancing so close to me? Haven't we talked about this?

Second, I already know it's bad without looking at their atrocious feet. But here they are…

using my Terry Bradshaw highlighting skillz

Over-enthusiastic and over-rotated. Their feet are not pointing the right way. They just turned their butts to their partner, and not in a fun way.

Please make sure your front foot is pointed straight ahead or at your partner. Or I will smack you with my clipboard. Or iPod Touch. Or whatever judging implement I have in my hand.

Next, we have the Under-Rotation. Just as terrible. Just as common.

why yes, she IS wearing a bow tie and clown glasses.

It seems okay, but they have stepped over their standing foot to get to their crossover position.

You can't really see his back foot, so let's pick on her: she should have swiveled that standing foot (her left foot) to clear a path for her right foot. Instead of just walking over it. Like she did.

Naughty foot. Swivel. Stay.

Lastly, these two nerds have decided to show us how hard it is to stand up.

Oh, wait. That's not what they're trying to show?

You've seen those pros do crossover breaks (or New Yorkers) and they're free arms are behind their shoulder and they must be bending or something. So you throw your arm behind you and you bend at your waist. [Why is this type so small? I don't know.]

Please stop.

The really good dancers have stretched through their top half soooo much that their arms are extended (through extension) past their ribcage behind them. And then, with all their insurmountable skillz, they sometimes add style to their crossovers with rise (on their toes), latin motion, checking actions, free arm position, or shaping. Shut up.

In conclusion, please stop dancing what you see. Stand up tall. Learn the techniques to move properly. Win.

Next up: Episode V- body contact
Beginning the Rant

March 1, 2012

I've been absent for a few days and it's for no better reason than I'm trying to work through the myriad of ideas I have for ballroom dance posts.

I have been on a bit of a rant (all mental, of course, no family or friends have been injured in this process) about things certain people do or don't do while they're dancing. Things that need to be stopped. Or considered. Or ohmygodpleasedon'teverdothatagain.

Unfortunately, for those of you that come to read the ye olde blog for fun, non-educational purposes, I might sound crazier and more technical than usual for the next few. I'll apoligize ahead of time. But then I'll take it back because THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THESE THINGS! Especially you. Yeeeees, you. The one who keeps doing the crossover break into my face with your feet turned in. You, especially, need to know.

So, my lovelies, tomorrow you can look forward to a ballroom dance rant.

Go in peace.
A Random Comparison

February 23, 2012

Lady Gaga vs. Ke$ha.

Go.

Lady Gaga

Makeup:

Part of the KISS army or Ziggy Stardust??

Ke$ha

Makeup:

Johnny Weir [anybody?] or… Ziggy Stardust?

Lady Gaga

Hometown:

Very East Coast

NYC and 212

Ke$ha

Hometown:

Very West Coast

Palm trees and the 405

Lady Gaga

Heritage:

Italian

Because it's just spaghetti and breadsticks over there

Ke$ha

Heritage:

Polish (and therefore Awesome)

We like vodka and sausage. Period.

Lady Gaga

Crazy Outfit:

Meat dress

How can I write a caption for this?

It's so hideous.

Ke$ha

Crazy Outfit:

Neon sign

Jem and the Holograms

Truly, truly, truly outrageous?

Lady Gaga

Top Single:

Among several others

Points for having Alex Skarsgård in the Paparazzi video.

Ke$ha

Top Single:

Among several others

Points for the boob adjustment in the We R Who We R video

Lady Gaga

Ruined forever because of a weird dance/workout routine performed by not-the-most-talented preteen girls choreographed to "Bad Romance".

Ke$ha

Everything sunny all the time always. Good time. Beach party.

Let's have a "talking like this" contest
The First YODEL- A Review

February 22, 2012

We had our first YODEL last week (Yarn Over, Drink, Eat… Legit) and I must tell you about it.

I'm not going to make it sound bigger than Lilith Fair in 1997 because it wasn't. Nothing is, or ever could be, as big as Lilith Fair in 1997, people.

We (six or so) gathered at the delightful Claddagh Coffee in St. Paul, MN and ate food, drank beverages, knit/crocheted/did homework, and chatted.

But it was GOOD TIMES!

A) It was all adult ladies

B) with a common interest

C) eating and drinking

I highly recommend coming to the next one.

It was cool to see a new technique being tried…

Pattern from Vogue Knitting Early Fall 2010

or a new craft being learned…

Creating hookers everywhere I go

or new friends being made.

we did NOT look like these goons

Next up, I'm checking out spots with LIQUOR. Yes, the cure for any social awkwardness (not that I or anyone else I know has that) will be involved. How's March sound, m'ladies?

I'll keep you posted.

Paul Newman…sewing.
Oh, no…

February 21, 2012

I'd love to talk, but I sat down to lunch and made the mistake of opening up Barefoot Contessa- Back to Basics.

Without having completed the first chapter of the BC cooking nonsense, I can tell you I'm going to make her parmesan & thyme crackers and a vodka cocktail of some sort for a little après-enfantshors d'oeuvres hour this week. Divine.

I also have the first Vince Flynn novel waiting to suck me in to the world of espionage after I'm done drooling on the cookbook.

Not to mention the wall of dishes in the kitchen and those pesky children I own.

Mitch Rapp?
List of Last Week’s Labors of Love

February 20, 2012

– discovery that I can't say "please" as one syllable into a microphone. I'm like Jenna from 30 Rock saying "camer-ah".

– French macarons from Sweets Bakeshop. So pretty. So delicious.

– a visit to "the only good thing in Wisconsin". [Not my quote. Don't send me hate mail… But I agree.]

Beer. Food. Great service. Try out the Red Eye Brewing Company if you're in Wausau.

– judging and a show in said town. Dancing. More dancing. Good people. Try out Get Out and Dance if you're in Wausau.

– the MN Zoo! We just visited the Bee Hive (didn't even check out the "farm animals" this time), a little playground for 1-3 years old, and those ladies had fun.

– oh my gosh, the YODEL! But I'll talk about that Wednesday.

– a meeting with a fantastic dressmaker to plan my next rhythm costume. It's going to be fantastic. I might have to have her guest-post again and we'll talk about both sides of the custom-made ballroom gown business. [Hint, hint.]

– why is the word "rhythm" so hard to spell?

Happy Monday, people.

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