Riot and Frolic

I’m Having a Ball

May 31, 2012

pretty blue jars

I'm chilling today on my po'ch (p-o-r-c-h for those not in the 'hood), recovering from whatever that was yesterday, admiring one of the oddest spaces in my house. It's got boarded up windows (the missing windows were moved into the office), weird carpet, and peeling…everything, but I love it. It's rustic, like a north woods retreat or…

it's rustic, like a cabin

Anyhow, I recently moved my beloved IKEA table out into the po'ch and made a ghetto breakfast nook, which doubles as a fort/hotel/castle for the small ones. I made a little tableau of all my blue stuff- including some of the jars that my in-laws brought me.

Out of curiousity, I did a little Googling to see how old some of these pretty things are.

They are OLD.

The oldest one seems to be from 1896 or so. What?! Since Ball stopped making the signature blue color (why would stop making them?) in 1937, obviously any blue jars are from before then. Neat.

Tomorrow, dance rant extraordinaire. Exciting!

my shoulder's itchy

One year ago: Jif– my favorite "fast-action" recipe
Facts About Motherhood

May 30, 2012
As I'm huddled under three blankies, covered in princess accessories (I might have a crown on), trying to fend off some mild food poisoning, I thought I'd remind, or warn, you about the joys of my not-so-new job.
- You will never EVER get a good night's sleep again. Those babies come out kicking and screaming, and continue their reign on your sleep until you die. Not only do infants have the gall to wake up in the middle of night, but once they sleep for eight hours in a row, they still rule the night by making you have the most horrific nightmares about them. I have never had such terrible nightmares until I had children (captured by terrorists, drive-by shootings, and drowning at sea just to name a few unconscious adventures). Then they grow up and they're not in your house and you worry still and don't sleep then either (I hear).
- The first few times those little babes sleep for more than three hours, you will check on them to make sure they're alive, yet thinking they're dead.
- You will get peed, pooped, and thrown up on. Meh. Shit happens?
- You will never get a day off. Sick? They still want to play, and eat, and… stuff. On vacation without them? Those little rascals will put their adorable voodoo hex on you, so you miss them the whole time. The hex will leave 60% of the time for having fun and 40% for lamenting the fact that they're not with you.
- You will know a new level of guilt. Being Catholic, I have at least a Master's degree in that crap, but having kids will put you in PhD territory in no time. "Am I doing this right?" "Am I scarring them for life?" The answers are probably "no" and "yes", but that's what parents have wondered for generations and the human race continues.
- Spontaneity will die. As much as want to come over and have affogato with cool adults, it's 3pm and it's naptime and I have to cook dinner and O. M. G.
- You will horrified by how you behave. Since kids tend to do everything you do, some day (or every single day) you'll hear your 3 year old use the snottiest tone to her sister and realize where she heard it. Ew. Self-reflection.
- Your most used phrases: Eat over the table; Stop it; Don't bite your sister; Because I said so.
- You will hide in your bathroom. From your own children. It's cool; everyone does.
- You will have a freakish amount of practical strength. I'm not talking about lifting cars off trapped toddlers, I'm talking about holding a 20 pound baby for an hour and not having your arm hurt the next day.
Yeah yeah, "best job in the world", blah blah blah. Right, right.

Love you, ladies!
The Sugar-Free Thing

May 29, 2012
Hahahaha. When I wrote the post title, I accidentally wrote "The Sugar-Free Thong". That is something very different.

not this. ever

No, this is just about giving up sugar, not my choice in undies.

I started doing a no-refined-sugar thing about two weeks ago and wanted to tell you how it's going, because people seem to be interested. Or are feigning interest. Either way, it gives me something to write about, so pretend away!

I have to tell you, as much as I try to eat healthy and you know, cram my face with salad, the ye olde sweet tooth always got me. I had (ok, have) nooooo problem polishing off a half a pan of brownies (not a 9×9 pan, mind you, the BIG pans), eating 3 Cadbury creme eggs at a time, sitting down with a bowl of chocolate chips, or making friends with a jar of Nutella.

Big fan of sugar. BIG. FAN.

i love you, too

I decided to go sugar-free on a whim and more or less for the challenge.

Me: I bet you can't do it.

Me: I sooooo can!

Me: Oh yeah? Let's see it!

Me: Oh. It is ON!

[Don't judge my chocolate-lovin', self-talkin' ways!]

It hasn't been too crazy; I still eat lots of treats. You might have already read about some of the sugarless delights I've tried. I'm on the search for more. "MORE!" I say.

I talked to a friend of mine who is a bit of a miracle-worker in the health field, makes turtle brownies from pumpkin puree and with no sugar taste like HEAVEN, and she likes these three sites, sooooo guess what I'm doing after this?

Anna's Top Three Awesome Healthy Treats Websites:
1. Chocolate Covered Katie– duh
2. Elana's Pantry
3. Healthy Indulgences
Anyhoo, the "baking" (there's a lot of no-bake goodies) has been fun and interesting and delicious.

The pay-off? For three days, I thought it was making my skin clear up like never before, but then I remembered I started using a different soap. I haven't weighed myself very recently, but I have read that most people lose a few pounds, so that's a plus. I'd say my energy is up, but I'd be lying. I haven't had any sort of amazing epiphanies since laying off the sugarcane, but I likened it to giving up soda. You might not feel any different, but it is no doubt better for you.

If you're looking for an easy health upgrade, I'd recommend trying this out. Remember, this is coming from a girl who hates change (routine is our friend), loves sugar, and bakes a lot.

What's your eating downfall? Love the carbs? Can't live without a rare steak every night? Let's commiserate!

One year ago: List of Last Week's Labors of Love where everything happens. Seriously.
List of Last Week’s Labors of Love

May 28, 2012

– funnest trip to the doctor EVER. They were stickers, water fountains, and HAND BALLOONS! I must say that the staff at the St. Joseph's Hospital Outpatient Lab went over and above the call of duty.

The Zoo had to get some blood drawn, and after a couple attempts (yes, with needles- Zoo was a champ), theyasked me to come back when they had a baby specialist in. When we came back, the guy we had the first day chatted up the older girls, got them stickers, and blew up gloves (HILARIOUS! FUN FOR HOURS! HOURS!), plus they gave me a $10 gas card "for my trouble". What?

hospital hijinks

– the table is being well-used.

a very merry un-birthday to you

– lame project for the week? Melting the wax out of some candle holders so I can actually use them… to hold candles. And not wax.

before

after

– WARNING! Cheesy baby alert!

gimme that

my tongue is awesome

chompers

look into my eyes

– And if you didn't have enough…

– finding a small drum set…

they've got rhythm

… in a hidden NE Mpls. recording studio…

this place makes music

… while Broken Spoke lays down some tracks.

who could ask for anything more

"Dear God, man, save some sex appeal for the rest of the world."- girl who "pinned" this picture
To Improve Your Dancing…

May 25, 2012

STOP WEARING PRACTICE SHOES.

stop it

[If you're new to the ye olde R'n'F, you're about to step into the world of ballroom dancing. I'm opinionated on the subject, and usually right, but I have a lot of experience and learnin' on the subject, so be warned.)

Unless you are teaching (a lot), have an injury (of the knee or lower, not your wrist, you nerd), are over 82 years old and have vertigo and a bad hip, or are practicing for more than 3 hours at a time, please put on the proper footwear.

Wearing your practice shoes (ladies especially) does not give you the opportunity to do the proper technique. The more you wear your practice shoes, the more you are practicing the wrong technique.

Ladies, remember when you were practicing your chainné turns in your flat shoes, then you put on your high heels before Showcase and were falling all over the place? If you wore your heels the first time, you'd be twice as good at those turns by now. Grrr!

Do you think she ever puts on practice shoes?

Men, you felt pretty solid on your feet until you donned those damn Latin heels. Now where is your center? FIND IT. Find it faster by pulling those man-shoes out after you pass your Bronze test.

but please wear black socks

Ladies, heel leads and toe releases are soooo easy, right? Oh wait, I have to dance in heels? Yeah, if you're going to put this on your car:

I hate this quote, btw

… you had better make it true.

Strangely enough, both Smooth/Standard and Rhythm/Latin shoes are made to help you do the correct footwork and leg action. It's like they did it on purpose or something.

Insider tip: several high-falutin' coaches don't like it when you wear practice shoes on lessons. They also like it when you dress up (men: button-down shirts tucked in, nice pants; ladies: skirts and nice shirt). Why take a chance? Just dress up for everyone.

Plus, by putting on the right shoes all the time, I never have to answer the question, "When should I start wearing my real shoes?"

Um, now.

One year ago: Media Frenzy, with added bonus material from today!
To Blend Toddler and Adult Aesthetics…

May 24, 2012

I have children.

It's often a surprise to me, so it helps to write it down in order to remind myself (when they're not yelling/singing/talking in front of me).

Since I have children, it more or less categorizes me as an adult. Hmph.

In this line of logic, I have children and adults living under one roof.

I'm in the process of trying to meld our groups' "styles", i.e.,* I'm making their crap match mine.

My great aunt (both "great" and "great", if you know what I mean) bought V this cute kid's table back in the day.

useful

It's well-loved by the girls, but the problem is it is well-loved by the girlS. It is now a kids' table and very much a girls' table (sooooo many tea parties) and while I have nothing against the alphabet (in fact, I rather love the alphabet and use it, like, at least 2 times a day…), it wanted to girl it up aaaaaand blend it in with our grown-up stuff now that it's a permanent fixture in our living area.

Ingredients:

– one toddler table and chairs set

– oilcloth fabric

– staple gun

– screwdriver

1. Take a toddler table, like this one, and flip it over.

before

2. Unscrew all the screws on the underside of the table.

unscrew and snap photo

2.5. Ever try to fit a screwdriver to a screw while taking a picture? I didn't think so.

3. Cut your oilcloth about 2" (that's inches, people) wider than the table. It reeeeeeally helps if your oilcloth is named something awesome like "Charisma Midnight", like mine was.

cut to fit, duh

4. Get out your new best friend, Staple Gun, and go to town (i.e., by stapling the fabric to the table).

my best friend got terrible reviews on Amazon

5. Repeat the process in steps 1-4 for the chairs.

6. Marvel at your "fancy new table" (V's words).

after

Marvel, indeed, at how the pattern on the chairs is nearly identical.

pretty and useful

My work here is done.

what.

One year ago today: Let There Be Light… Or Not. Adventures in wiring.

* check out this awesome cartoon
To Prevent Hasty Home Improvements…

May 23, 2012

As many of you know, my house has been under various shades of deconstruction/construction for the last four years. I've done pretty well decorating around and living with exposed (not for aesthetics) beams, missing outlets, and hole-y walls, but this week has left me craving plumb-lined walls, trusty plumbing, and fresh paint.

As I have already wielded a shiny new staple gun (possibly the best toy ever) and am about to open a can of whoop-ass (Kilz paint primer) on my entryway, I thought it best to sit back and make a plan. You know, look at some houses that are finished, before I start making "home improvements" willy-nilly in a useless effort to make my wabi a little less sabi.

What's any sane, broke girl to do? Hit up Pinterest and Houzz and dig for inspiration (and a vacation from my own home).

The Zoo's room and possibly the "office" (now the insulated, but not drywalled room in need of some electrical wiring) need some special flooring, since the hardwood in each room is shot. I love the look of this snap-together, recycled flooring:

it's so green, it's orange… and white

Our attic is just waiting for someone with a paint sprayer (btw, WANT) to hose down the pink and blue walls and turn that baby in a master bedroom. Maybe like this?

shelves! beadboard! pink lamp!

Or this?

windows! mirrored desk! wallpaper done right!

[note on sources: If there isn't a source listed, I couldn't find it. :( I pinned these off Pinterest, and after clicking through a few windows, I couldn't find the original and even the Googles weren't able to find them.]

Obviously, the hallway to my kitchen neeeeeeeds this.

chalkboard wall, yo

Note: I would also love the mini chairs. Thanks.

I would love to make a curtain like the one below for my counter (which is really an IKEA kitchen island), and if we can somehow incorporate everything else in the picture, I'd be okay with that.

where do those adorable steps lead? look at cutey breakfast nook! plants! shelves! SINK!

A certain friend pointed out our lack of cohesive lighting and how it doesn't help sell your house. Well, I'll take one of these fans/lights/works of art in every room. So there.

so old school, it keeps my house cool

Do I need a dog to have this galvanized tub sink? I think not. I'd put it in the kitchen and use it to hose off dirty dishes… and kids.

I wouldn't mind taking a shower in this

Here's exactly what I want the bathroom door to look like… except it would say "lavatory". Duh.

white trim, how I covet you

What about you guys? Living the dream in a freshly drywalled home? Kickin' it in a rental? What projects are on your list? Are they fun or just necessary?

playing guitar never hurt a guy's image
To Offset 3 Cadbury Creme Eggs…

May 22, 2012

If you're like me and overindulge once in a while (btw, I always have to look up whether it's "once and awhile" or "once in a while" and it makes me feel dumb every time), possibly by eating 3 Cadbury Creme Eggs or devouring a "box" (bag? carton? what are those things?) of Oreos in a sitting, then maybe you should try out this blog called Chocolate Covered Katie.

I've mentioned her a couple times (like yesterday, or in this Pinterest Project), tried 5 of her recipes, been skeptical of each one, and LOVED IT.

She does party tricks by making tasty treats appear out of beans and dried fruit.

There's the aforementioned cookie dough dip, made out of chickpeas, which I would like heretofore to be called Cookie Dough Hummus, so as to turn people off, so I can eat the whole thing myself.

Then there's the Fudge Babies, which I was mistakenly calling Chocolate Balls- oops!, which are made of 90% dates and taste exactly like a brownie.

To balance out the sweet treats, there's Protein Fries, which was baked tofu. Surprisingly crunchy and delicious, it was my first taste of tofu outside of hot and sour soup.

I stocked up on sugar-free chocolate chips by making the 3 Ingredient Chocolate Bars. Nothing surprising in these, just dark chocolate-y goodness.

This morning, I surprised the fam with a yummy twist on our usual oatmeal by baking up some Boatmeal. Basically, chocolate chip banana bread with no guilt.

oh yeah

So, if you're feeling the weight of the world and are down for some emotional eating, whip up some treats off the ol' CCK site, get a serving of fruit or protein with your stress-binge, and score one for the good guy.

He'll do nicely

One year ago today: List of Last Week's Labors of Love, where I ironically talk about "openmeal".
List of Last Week’s Labors of Love

May 21, 2012

– have been sugar-free for five days. I only gave up the processed white or brown kind; let's not be crazy and think I ditched the sweet stuff entirely. 'Cause that'd be crazy, yo.

It's not that hard, really. It takes a little label reading and some substitutions, but overall, it doesn't seem like a big change. And I have a Sweet Tooth, people.

Big deals? Honey in my coffee, eating my own bread because all the store-bought varieties have sugar, using agave nectar (the light kind) as sugar in recipes and…

– forayed into Chocolate Covered Katie's blog some more (remember the cookie dough dip?) and made this, this, and this. We'll talk more about this tomorrow. For now, just know that Katie is a GENIUS.

– took some artwork off the fridge, only to be immortalized forever by publishing it HERE. V did a portrait of me, and wrote my name above the picture. I like that she draws eyes and pupils.

it looks just like me

– went through my file drawers and found awesome mementos from my neat friends.

no, that's not my face taped over Kristen Stewart's. This REALLY HAPPENED! Not.

I sure have gotten fake kidnapped while pregnant! Funny you asked!

kidnapping isn't fun, but sometimes it is

– work continues on the house. There is some siding up on the west side, and the FLASHING IS HOLDING OUT THE RAIN (THANKS, TIM! [Bratt kids, tell your dad it's working great!]). It's going great and we've had a lot of very generous people volunteering their time and tools, so WOOOHOOOOO!

scaffolding has never been so exciting to me

– the hostas I thought were dead have exploded.

now they can catch MORE destruction debris!

– gave back my folks' coffeemaker. Took a picture of our last drink together. I'll miss you, little miracle worker .

10 cups in 5 minutes- what.

– Mae Cake's first ice cream cone. She doesn't look thrilled in this picture, but eating ice cream is serious business. There are drips to attend to and a new dress to keep clean (her sentiment, surprisingly, not mine).

gotta keep the bubble dress clean

– Saturday afternoon playing in downtown Minneapolis. Fountains, skyways, and coffee, oh my!

had to convince them not to jump in

DB's Infinite Black cold press is amazing

How was your weekend?
Dancing Makes You Better At…

May 18, 2012

Dancing makes you better at dancing.

Surprise, right?

As much as running and Pilates and the yogas and stretching and reading psychology and physiology books and watching champions and talking technique points are great and fun and worthwhile pursuits, practicing the craft is actually what makes you better.

Damn.

I realized (or it was pointed out to me- and no, I'm not going to say who because he knows who he is) that I rationalize doing a lot of activities in the name of [insert semi-whiny voice here] "it'll make my dancing better" .

Turns out? I just enjoy them.

Damn. Again.

Yes, I enjoy running, okay? I enjoy it. There. I said it. Happy?

And even though I just started the yogas, I like those, too.

And I like aaaaaaallll those other dance-related activities just for themselves.

Yes, they might encourage your dancing in one way or another, but as I've ever so sadly discovered, running 2 miles, or 5 miles, or 30 miles is not going to make your footwork better, or make your promenade position correct, or your crossovers any less awkward, or remember your choreography for you, or keep you balanced on turns.

Sigh.

I'm not saying you shouldn't do all those lovely extra-curricular sports, I'm saying you should practice practice practice. Practice doing all your moves and steps and turns and basics correctly (or as correctly as you know). And enjoy enjoy enjoy all those things that might kind of sort of in some way make your ballrooming easier.

That includes drinking beer. And watching trashy tv. And maybe running, too.

And read this post about all my favorite dance stuff.

All the geeks are geeking right now

One year ago today: But this is…, a crochet starter kit

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