Riot and Frolic

Other People’s Paint

August 23, 2012

Scrolling through the Interwebs is all I can handle when I am consumed with a CAFFEINE-WITHDRAWAL HEADACHE THAT IS TRYING TO EAT MY BRAIN.

The whole time my head is banging, I'm wondering at how my father-in-law gave up coffee for Lent. He must have had a headache for 40 days because that man drinks Coffee. Yes, with a capital C.

Back to the Interwebs…

I want to do this:

a rainbow of fruit flavors

A Little Bit Funky made these after a bad day. Shoooooot, after a bad day here, I'm just making some Bailey's on the rocks. Could she have chosen more awesome colors? NO. They are beautiful and I want to eat them. Or look at them. Or use them to stir my Bailey's.

And then there's this bowl:

Chasing Sunshine also liked those neato spoons and took the paint/wood idea to her salad bowl with fantastic results. $13 to make this? My Christmas gift-giving list is just making itself.

And that's really it. Because this damn computer screen? Is now strobing in time to my headache.

Not cool, computer screen, not cool.

get it? wood? wood!

One year ago: Pam Beasley and Jim, with the most attractive man ever.
Things That I Shouldn’t Have Found

August 22, 2012

While scooping some Amish Peanut Butter out of a bowl with my bare hand (we ran out of graham crackers!) and clicking around the Interwebs with the other, I have discovered some things that might have been better left undiscovered (besides nutritionally-unfulfilling, peanut-flavored spread).

HTHB reminded me about Hello Giggles. It is not interesting and nobody cool writes for it.

I could keep telling myself that, but knowing contributor Maude Apatow might be writing something insightful and honest and ohmygodit'sMaudeApatowshe'sonly14andhernameisMaudeandshewassuperfunnyinKnockedUp would be haunting my brain, so I'll just check my feed every 7 minutes or so for new funny things. Where else can I find out how to make cookie espresso cups and how to help fund a Nikola Tesla Museum (it's not just a band, people)? NOWHERE!

Yeah, that's Maude.

And I'm not excited for this movie at all.

Anyhoo, then there's this Project Life thing, which I heard mentioned a couple times, but thought it was a political movement and not JOURNALING MATERIALS. Or scrapbooking supplies, depending on how you look at it. Or maybe a really descriptive photo album?

cute free cards

If you check out the site, there is a very explanatory video on what it is- short-attention-span journal, lazy scrapbook, hyper-informative photo album, whatevs.

In any case, having journaled pretty regularly since I was 8, currently liking to take photographs, and generally enjoying some tactile visualness, this seems like a worthwhile venture. Might make a "baby book" pretty simple, too. [Does anyone still do baby books?]

What have you gotten your hands into lately? Any movies or books or CDs you're excited about?

paris

One year ago: LLLL, which was jam-packed full of Bratts and babies and gymnastics. At separate occasions.
Amish F-ing Peanut Butter, Y’all

August 21, 2012

Have you all heard of AMISH PEANUT BUTTER?! I don't know what's so Amish about it, but it will knock you right off your wagon, let me tell you.

This is not in any way, a healthy, sugar-free, fat-free treat. This is a full-fledged, hard-core, indulgent, addicting thing.

My darling, calm, peaceful friend came over to babysit and told me she was going to make this stuff with my ladies as a house-warming gift for her friend. The next morning, I saw she happened to leave a bit for us and after dipping one graham cracker in it, I looked at my jar of Nutella and said, "I have to tell you something… I've met someone else." But then I thought we could all be friends, you know, and Nutella and the APB jumped on a cracker together and it was glorious.

Anyhow, here's the recipe for Amish Peanut Butter. I'd show you a picture of it, but we ate it all.

amish peanut butter

1 cup corn syrup

1/2 cup penaut butter (smooth)

1/4 cup marshmallow creme

Mix. Eat. Enjoy.
List of Last Week’s Labors of Love

August 20, 2012
– a birthday! birthday! party for the oldest and the youngest Bratt offspring. How the hell do you have birthday parties for children whose birthdays are close together? And what the hell is a good way to open/deal with presents? I hear there are three options:
1. have a present-opening orgy at some point during the party (small children/adults get distracted/bored, it's overwhelming; some gift-openers [this girl] feel self-conscious)
2. open immediately upon the arrival of a gift-bearing guest (never done this; seems greedy/overly-personal, yet kind of nice)
3. wait until the party is over (I like this option, but some guests get angry when this is the plan, even though it is etiquettely-correct).
What do you guys do? What has worked and what hasn't?

In any case, V and Zoo (and Mae Cake, too) had an awesome time and were spoiled rotten.

she's ready

bean bag/car/landing pad/awesomeness

– a princess, being put to work. Voluntarily… again. She finally got her mop and broom, and was only a little disappointed that she'd have to share my soap and not have her own.

7am the usual morning line-up, start on the chores and sweep 'til the floors all clean!

– an outing to Charlie's Irish Pub in Stillwater to see Broken Spoke heckle the crowd… and play some tunes. The ceiling of the pub had kick-line girls dancing around the room, so we each picked out our likeness.

this is me

– I am the sexiest lady EVER. Because sometimes, after you run 7 miles to meet your pa for coffee and sit in a coffee shop for 2 hours, when you get home, you get reeeeeeeally cold, but the only warm "clothes" you can find are some St. Patrick's Day-themed socks.

And sometimes, when you try to run 10 miles 2 days later, your legs say "NO! Sit yo' ass down" and you have to park it on Summit Avenue while you wait for your husband to pick you up in the car. Fickle legs.

i'm cold, but this is hot

– a date with The G, which was a movie sandwich on drinking bread. Pomegranate Margarita at Rosa Mexicano (with a seemingly-sarcastic waiter, who was not, in fact, sarcastic), Bourne Legacy at Block E (the prequel to the first ones, or so I hear), Premo and Prime Rib Sam-ich at Nye's Polonaise Room (*drooooooooool*).

pretty drunk in pink

beer goggles

Did you have any hot dates this weekend? Yes, cats and TVs count as hot dates. See any movies? Drink any booze?

Good times.
Backwards in High Heels

August 17, 2012

Back in the day when I was scolding you for not wearing the proper footwear, I brought up this nifty bumper sticker:

I mentioned I hate it, but not why. Since I'm ranting about things this week, I thought I'd elaborate.

Ginger Rogers was great. She was fun to watch dance, she could act, and she was pretty (Fred Astaire really only had one of those three things). She put up with Fred's legendary gruelling perfectionism, so I give her street cred for that.

But this bumper sticker seems to imply that because she did it "backwards and in high heels", she did it better.

Well, no.

She did it differently, yes. 'Cause she's a lady, y'all.

Lady ballroom dancers spend some time with their butts preceding them down the dance floor. And these ladies wear heels. Yet, most of these ladies' posteriors are quite lovely and many ladies love a good pair of pretty shoes.

Men, however, move forward in many patterns because they have to lead. Have you ever led? It's the worst. All that thinking and planning and steering.

Yes, I sound dated and male-chauvinistic and sexist, but have you seen ballroom dancing? Um, that's what it is. Paso Doble? Offensive. Tango? Borderline abusive! Viennese Waltz? Talk about dated.

Ballroom dancing illustrates the difference (not the competition) between the genders. And that is OKAY.

Men are encouraged to stand up and be strong, YET also be protective and loving. Ladies are taught to be flexible and responsive, BUT also purposeful and self-reliant.

So Ginger did what Fred did, but in the feminine style, which is both awesome and her job.

he's prettier

One year ago: Projects Not Pinned
Craft From The Past

August 16, 2012

After fixing a broken plastic lanyard keychain my niece found, I had the sudden urge to BUY ALL THE COLORS of DMC embriodery floss and tie 6 strands around a safety pin and tote it around on my [french-rolled] jeans for a day, knotting furiously .

Find your favorite of 454 colors.

Forgot how to make a friendship bracelet? Brush up on your technique.

Then I wanted to use that same safety pin and a bunch more of its friends, a few beads, and some Keds for another retro craft.

totally making these later

Going way back, I definitely did the crayon-shavings-on-wax-paper bit with my dad and LOVED it. And for once, I remember my project being cooler than Martha Stewart's version (we made suns).

What childhood crafts did you love? [I imagine the boys asking if video games count as crafts.] Big lanyard fan? Any Easy Bake Oven bakers? More importantly, do you still have any of your favorite crafted items? SHARE!
Does This Make Me Bad or Great?

August 15, 2012
This little gem has been circulating on the Interwebs for awhile…

i'm not good

I… hate it. The ellipsis is covering all the naughty words I want to use as grammatical modifiers in that sentence. But, I just… hate it.
1. These happy kids are played with all the time, so Mom has no time to clean? It seriously takes me 5 minutes to do most chores [not including procrastinating]. Aren't the kids reading or coloring or picking their nose by themselves at some point?
2. Kids are free labor. Duh. Isn't that why we have them? Wash that dish, infant!
3. Since kids learn a lot by imitation and if Mom isn't cleaning, these happy kids are never going to clean anything and then they'll be one of those people. You know, one of those people that you hated to have as your roommate your freshman year of college.
Dude, I get it. If you pop by unannounced at 3 in the afternoon, there are toys strewn all over the floor and clean laundry waiting to be folded and a pile of dishes in the drying rack.

But that specific untidyness is laying on top of general cleanliness.

I'm not saying this other Interweb gem (see: The Good Wife's Guide) should happen, but it's not out of the question to raise a happy kid or three or five and still have clean floors and a shiny oven. And maybe your husband thinks you're the bomb on top of that.

It could happen.

What do you think? Love it, hate it? Have a different, innocuous saying that you despise? Let's hear it!

One year ago: Something Salad-y, a history lesson and tasty food
Party! Party!

August 14, 2012
Sometimes you throw a party and you're like, "Hey, it's cool, there's only like 15 people coming and 5 of those people live in my house, so whatevs." But then you realize you're really bad at counting and twice that many real people show up.

Whatevs, man. It's cool.

For the first time ever, I wasn't stressing out about FEEDING THE WORLD and figured it's first come first served, bitches! (Except without the "bitches" part because I truly adore everyone who came to the shindig.)

Anyhow, I really dug the food I made, so here's the menu, in case you want to copy it.

Summer Party Menu for Not-15-People
- Garlic-Onion Burgers (also makes great meatballs)
- Plain Ol' Hot Dogs (requested by the guest of honor)
- Fruit Salad (duh, it's summer and fruit is delicious)
- Potato Chips (duh, it's summer and chips are delicious)
- Caprese Skewers (this isn't the recipe I use, but you get the idea. I throw some balsamic vinegar on them and sometimes add proscuitto. *drool*)
- Cake From A Box, Sort Of (this totally works and is awesome for lazy people)
- "Flourless Torte" (deliciously healthy-ish)
- Strawberry Lemonade (lemonade from a can, strawberries in a blender, mix)
We didn't have any leftovers and I could not have been happier. Because there are too many groceries in there to deal with leftovers, yo.

One year ago: LLLL, the usual- a new baby, Irish Fair, etc.
List of Last Week’s Labors of Love

August 13, 2012
– while perusing pictures for a post last week, I discovered a few people are very confused about what Patrick Swayze looks like.

this makes me laugh… george clooney

maybe he's in the car?

– sometimes you have to dress up like a princess and do some swivels with your tongue sticking out. She definitely gets this from her dad… Except the dressing like a princess part!… Oh, now I'm in trouble.

swiveling with tongue-styling, like The G

– yes, these are the things I have to make text shortcuts for on my phone.

use it every day

– how badly do I want the blue and red running outfit? As badly as I'd like to run the 2013 SeaWheeze in beautiful Vancouver, BC.
1. runners got lululemon shorts as part of the registration
2. the run is in Vancouver, which has always seemed like a cool, active, pretty city
3. the band fun. played at the post-race party
find this for me

– I did this to myself.

there's more in the car

…Maybe I should go grocery shopping more than once a month?

– making lemon vinegar, which is supposed to be bomb for cleaning

it's lemon zest… in vinegar

– who does their hair two days in a row? Not this girl. Because my top knot looked JUST AS AWESOME the second day. Even after salsa dancing (OMG, I went social dancing and didn't die… or elbow anyone in the face) and sleeping. And who needs to wear a sweatshirt when it's 70 degrees outside? This girl, who really should live in San Diego, where one doesn't have to deal with these Midwestern things called temperature fluctuations. And whose middle daughter told her to wear an apron while cooking? This girl.

what IS in the fridge? EVERYTHING

– another trip to Irish Fair MN at Harriet Island. Broken Spoke, formerly known as Highland Paddy and winners of the 2012 Irish's Got Talent battle of the bands, were booked for a highly-anticipated spot Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately, the band was sequestered in a weird, hidden building that was charging a $20 cover. Nobody puts Broken Spoke in a corner… of the Irish Fair.

Except someone did. After an unsuccessful attempt to make EVERYONE A V.I.P. by playing on the patio, the powers-that-be herded the band inside where a few very lucky ladies (and a dude or two) got serenaded by some good looking laddies (and one hot lassie).

Fortunately, the band was begged to come back by the lovely Claddagh Coffee Cafe, and got to play a show in the evening.

Here's a flirty baby, who is the offspring of one of BS members.

just got done waving

– this beer is all the rage.

i was drinking it while making birthday cakes

– have you seen these neat prints in the cement around St. Paul? I especially love this one and took the anonymity of my night run to snap the photo. I also used the darkness to practice my ninja skills by practicing my army roll after I stepped off a curb oddly and fell down. There was blood. And laughing (by me, thank GOD no one else was around to POINT and laugh). Yeah… It wasn't even one of those curb curbs, where you have to step down. It was one of those slope-y ones that are meant to make the transition to the street very simple.

street poetry

One year ago: The Chair and Other Nifty Gifties
All I Need

August 10, 2012

"I don't need any of this… Or this… Except this. This ashtray is the only thing I need. And that's the only thing I need. Not this or this… The only thing I need is this ashtray… and this paddle game…" – The Jerk

A few years ago, a brand new ballroom dance teacher trainee was in my class asking questions about dancing professionally. After about 10 minutes of Q&A, this lovely newbie said:

"Sounds like all you need is a dress and some choreography."

…

Pretty much.

I'm not sure how anything I said could have been boiled down to that outrageous statement, but it brings up interesting questions.

What makes someone a professional? What makes someone elite? Oh, hell, what makes someone a dancer (using my National Geographic narrating voice)? Besides missing the obvious point that a ballroom dancer needs a partner, did the newbie have it right?

Gross. No.

I have told many students (and myself) that anyone can do the steps. Anyone can put one foot here, the other over there, and then go "bada, buh-da!" (You know you've had that step before.) BAM. There's your choreography.

But then, there's technical skill. If you're learning to dance, you're learning where to put your feet, but more importantly, you're learning HOW to put them there. There's a lot of technical skills a dancer needs to learn and practicepracticepractice. But possessing the proper skill set does not necessarily mean you're dancing.

"The most important thing about technique is… to perform with so much ease that none of the technical difficulties are obvious." – Lois Ellfeldt

"You learn technique so you can hide it." – The G

On top of the choreography and learned skills, a good dancer will place some artistry. At any level of dance- beginning level to current professional champions- bringing your personality and some feelings (hopefully in line with the characteristics of the specific dance you're doing) takes you to closer to "dancing!" ("Acting!"- Jon Lovitz) The Italians have a word that I like at this level – sprezzatura: making something difficult look easy. Awesome.

Another layer of the elaborate cake is the partnership. Clearly, ballroom dancers dance in pairs. It's GOOD when partners match one another in technical skill and/or artistry. It's GREAT when couples have that elusive quality called "chemistry". Maybe it's that they're crazy in love… or crazy in fight. Maybe it's just that both people are truly enjoying themselves. One way or another, the partners are reacting to each other and that's interesting.

The frosting on the cake is always the grooming (yeah, that stupid dress from earlier) and that frosting is so *gosh damn important because it's all people see, until you start moving. You don't want a bad dress/suit to distract from good dancing (but you DO want a GOOD dress to distract from BAD dancing).

Back to the questions:

Q: What makes someone a professional ballroom dancer?

A: Sadly, only saying that you are. There are no tests or prerequisites. Anyone can decide to be a professional at any time and enter into professional events with or without teaching dancing for a living.

But…

Q: What makes someone elite?

A: An elite dancer would be someone who is the best of the best. The professional finalists at the United States Dance Championships, Ohio Star Ball, Holiday Dance Classic, and Emerald Ball? Elite dancers. The professional finalists at small competitions with a straight finals (no semi- or quarterfinals)? Possibly not elite.

Q: What makes someone a dancer?

A: A combination of technical skills and knowledge, artistry, and partnering.

Therefore, the author of this article is a non-teaching professional, non-elite, dancer, by self-definition. How's that for honesty?

You can be elite dancer and still be an amateur. You can be a professional and not be elite. You can be a Dancer without knowing what the hell Bronze is.

What do you want to be?

*This blog has been edited for a PG-13 rating.

recent posts

about