Riot and Frolic

Unpaid Programming – Shutterfly

March 28, 2013

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE SHUTTERFLY?

A LOT!

My grams got Zoo a Cabbage Patch Kid doll for Christmas this year and it came with a coupon for a free 8×8" Shutterfly book. (Shutterfly makes custom photo albums, prints, stationary, and the like.)

After hemming and hawing whether I had the time/energy to find enough pictures to fit a theme for a 22 page photo album, I decided it was totally worth it… 3 hours before my coupon expired.

I perused their site and was pleased to find they had adorable, professional, and cool design layouts just waiting for my indecisive mind to try to select. After picking the most basic template, I also decided on a "first words" book for the little ladies, working with my Instagram photos, some shots from Facebook, and of course, off my iPhoto library.

The "low resolution" warning label popped up on most of my pics, since the majority were from my iPhone. I was worried, but figured it was an experiment and wouldn't matter too much since I was only paying for shipping (about $8, by the way).

Besides being appalled and a little proud of how many times my coffee cup has been featured on my Instagram, I was pleased with Shutterfly's intuitive website and design process. I messed around with a couple of the tile layouts and was curious to see how they would print (would there be white spaces on an otherwise black background? would it show a "image missing error" in print?).

22 pages complete, I clicked "order" and spent the next 3 weeks waiting.

To note: I got an email from Shutterfly 12 hours later, saying my book was completed and had shipped out. But being a cheapskate, I had not paid for any sort of expedited shipping and my package was routed through UPS and then USPS. While I love my neighborhood mailman (I really do), the USPS held my package for processing just down the street from me for nearly 2 weeks. I couldn't pick it up, because it wasn't offically there yet, but it was there, you know? Grrr. I've ordered a few things online lately and the same thing happened with the USPS. So, EXPEDITED SHIPPING FOREVER!

Finished product? Awesome. The low resolution photos don't bother me at all; they're only noticeable if I look really carefully with a keen eye. The creative tiling patterns I did turned out great; missing tiles matched the pre-existing background. The paper quality was excellent, as was the printing and binding (I worked in printing for awhile, so I really do have an opinion).

Guess what everyone's getting for presents this year?

my fav Instagram

daddy and mama, respectively

mae cake and v

zoo

tiling that turned out

Note: Besides the unrelated free book, Shutterfly in no way sponsored this post. I wrote them a nice email congratulating them on their lovely product and they said "thanks" in return, but I have received no compensation from them. But maybe I will?…
The Joys of Motherhood

March 27, 2013
As much as I think one should know what they're getting into with the whole motherhood thing, I feel like I've been a poo-poo-er of rearing children. But it's a sweet gig, I swear.
- You get to play with your old toys. Or just pick out the really cool new toys. My Little Pony? TOTALLY BACK IN STYLE. The new cartoon is hilarious and lovely: anime without being too blinky, cute without being stupid. Building blocks? NERDY FUN. Coloring crayons? THERAPY.
- Silence is golden. Never will you underestimate the value of being able to hear your dining room clock, from your upstairs bedroom again. What is that ringing in your ears? Silence. It's amazing. REVEL IN IT.
- You travel with an entourage. Granted most people who merit an entourage have their hangers-on schlepp their stuff. But you're so important, it's the other way around.
- You will never feel so important or loved. Especially when you're leaving your children somewhere or picking them up from somewhere or when there's a boo boo that needs kissing or band-aiding.
- Loneliness is gone. As long as your little ones are around, you have a captive audience of weirdos to keep you company.
- Clothes shopping takes on new meaning. Little girls' clothing? ADORABLE. It is very hard to pass up Target's kid section without cooing over how cute Mae Cake would look in this hat.
- Your multi-tasking skills will skyrocket. One friend told me about how she used to make macaroni and cheese for her toddlers while nursing her youngest. That's just… supernatural.
- You have a personal stylist, or two. "Mama, those earrings look soooo beautiful." "Mama, aren't you going to do something with your hair?" "Mama, you have something on your butt."
- Chores become a thing of the past. My oldest is the self-proclaimed Queen of the Toilet Paper: she changes the roll when it's empty, fills up our toilet paper tower (that holds 3 rolls), and carries the huge economy pack into the attic (where we store bulk goods) without being asked. She also likes to make toasted peanut butter sandwiches and my coffee in the morning.
- You get to eat all your favorite comfort foods. Cup of soup! Chicken in the Biscuit crackers! Mac 'n' Cheese! Buttered noodles! Sugary cereal! Fruit snacks! Goldfish crackers!
Sign me UP!

One year ago: Discovery: Brewer's Yeast
Sausage and Chocolate

March 26, 2013

Short story long:

I'm pretty Polish. I grew up eating kielbasa on any occasion that was barely a holiday. Our family (and every generation of family that I know of) got their goods from an authentic Slavic deli that is kind of a Big Deal around the Cities.

represent the eagle

Therefore, the "Polish sausage" in the grocery store is a bit of a joke. Anything labeled "kielbasa"? Better live up to its name.

no. no. no.

How does it live up to the venerated Kielbasa label? If the smell of garlic hits your nose like an ACME anvil, it's headed in the right direction.

yes! and sauerkraut

Jump ahead to this year's St. Patty's Day, where my friend lucked out at The Butcher and The Boar (hey, Heath!) and won the meat raffle. On her birthday, even! Raffle prize: some jerky, some olive loaf, and some links labeled "kielbasa".

My raised eyebrow nearly knocked over the tall dude standing behind me.

Heath threw the box to me, knowing I'd actually eat the contents.

Since it sat in my fridge for a couple days before I fried it up, I was beyond skeptical of its scale of greatness, because my fridge smelled like… nothing. But once I got those babies out of the vacuum seal, a holy heaven of garlic was unleashed.

People, I am almost embarrassed to admit the following. And I don't say it lightly (earmuffs, young ones):

It was fucking amazing.

Amazing! I tell you!

Garlicy, fatty, meaty, awesome.

So, if you're in town, hit up The Butcher and The Boar (Star Tribune's Restaurant of the Year at 1121 Hennepin Avenue in Minneapolis). Yes, based on their kielbasa alone, I would tell everyone to patronize them.

And not in that "oooooh, your sausage is reaaaaallly good" kind of way. The kind of way that'll make you eat there every day FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

BUT THEN, this same friend who plied me with her meat products, told me a crazy tale about a fancy dessert called "S'mores". But not just regular S'mores. No, no, no. S'mores done up by some crafty fiend who made homemade graham crackery cookie things, and then flambéed some CHOCOLATE FILLED MARSHMALLOWS.

CHOCOLATE FILLED MARSHMALLOWS!

Oh shit!

Next time you see me, you'd better believe I'll be covered in marshmallow and chocolate.

…

Don't make that weird.

One year ago: LLLL.
List of Last Week’s Labors of Love

March 25, 2013

– I've never been quite so proud of my husband. Usually I do the grocery shopping, but I texted him a list on his way home from work and he came home with this baby.

yes

There are legends about amazing "meat sales", but I always thought they were myths. UNTIL NOW.

– Told myself I totally know how to read crochet chart and then I read the crap out of this one.

[I made it up as I went along, but my project looks exactly like the picture, so there's the beauty of positive thinking.]

– Tried every homeopathic remedy for getting rids of colds (or viruses). NONE OF THEM WORK. I am very close to biting the bullet and going to a doctor to get me some industrial strength antibiotics or weed killer or sleeping pills.

– *waving hello while kind of smiling and glancing at you sideways* Hi, new readers. According to my stats, there's been a few new people milling about and a couple people reading EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WRITTEN. That's both creepy and awesome. [Which is also similar to how I teach a group class: creepy and awesome.]

How's your week? Did you have a great weekend? Do you want to complain about the weather? Did you notice that I didn't? Do you want to go thrift shopping with me?
Sunday Special – Back of the Closet

March 24, 2013
This skirt has been taunting me from the back of my closet for years. YEARS. A simple, black pencil skirt with a geometric, vertical ruffle over one leg. None of my shirts seemed to pull it together, let alone ANY OF THE SHIRTS EVER MADE.

Today I said, "Screw you, skirt" (except with fouler language; happy Sunday!) and threw on all the clothes that confound me (yet I still own).

PUT ON ALL THE CLOTHES!

LOOK AT YOUR SHINY SHOES!

POWER CLASHING!

FANCY BRAID BUN!

I'll stop yelling now.

Clothes stuff:
- earrings – from me ma
- scarf – Wal-mart. What.
- sweater – Target
- blouse – Karma Boutique in St. Paul
- skirt – Express a million years ago
- shoes – DSW? (gift from The G)
- belt – came with a dress from a million years ago
Have a great week!

Check out the pretty people at Fine Linen and Purple for What I Wore Sunday and Plane Pretty for Sunday Style.
This Will Make You a Better Ballroom Dancer

March 22, 2013

If not a better person.

Stand with your heels, rear, shoulder blades, and back of your head against a wall. Put your elbows and forearms against the wall with your hands at your eye level (like you're making a "W" with your arms). Slide your arms up (to make the "Y" of "YMCA") and then back down to the starting position.

If your lower back hurts, step your heels out from the wall a couple inches, leaving your rear, shoulder blades, and head against the wall.

Forearms don't touch the wall? Keep pressing them back towards the wall anyhow.

It should BURN right between your shoulder blades.

DO THIS EVERYDAY!

You probably need this, too:

Please hold these longer than this nice young man does, but

DO IT EVERYDAY!
Getting High Pays Off

March 21, 2013
Last week, I spent my late nights getting high.

On glue.

Accidentally.

I NEEDED to make a statement necklace since I WANTED something to dress up my daily tee shirt and jeans routine. I'm trying to look like an adult these days and in my mind, grown-ups wear jewelry.

I had stalked a couple premade ones on Etsy and Googled the crap out of all the tutorials I could find. Then I sat down and started gluing. With industrial strength glue. That I kept forgetting to close. (Chicken or the egg, on that one.)

Here's what I produced:

it's like the sea

business in the front, party in the back

hey, good looking

whatcha got cookin'

The tutorials I followed are here:
- rolled flower tutorial via my sparkle (super easy, great pictures)
- creating a backdrop and attaching chain for flowers via one perfect room (no sew!)
My free time got me a sweet necklace and my snack cupboard cleaned out. Win win!
The Horrors of Motherhood

March 20, 2013
I've written the facts of motherhood before, now I'm here to talk about the horrors. Sometimes, I think they're the same thing.
- You will not be able to watch violent movies. For some of you, this might not be anything new. But me? I used to love a good action flick, including the violent ones. But the more kids I have, the more they… affect me. Like terrible nightmares and uncontrollable sobbing, either at the same time or separately. Good times. Recently, I took in Reacher (a dark B-like movie along the lines of Drive) and the military flick, Act of Valor. Ay yi yi. Haunted. Acts of violence involving children, obviously, make the situation worse. That should come on the movie rating label. I guess I'll just watch Pitch Perfect… again.
  
  thank you
- When some delightful people let your babies sleep over at their house, your initial response of "Yippee! I'm a free lady!" will quickly wear off around naptime/bathtime/bedtime/arguingtime when your second response of "Dammit, I have no one to read to/dry off/snuggle with/put in a corner. [sad, lonely face]"
  
  sometimes baby IS in a corner, usually for yelling at her sisters
- True to Tina Fey's word, you will often have food or drool or something else on your clothes or face or hair and not even know it.
  
  amen, sister
- that quirky trait you had as a single lady as "not having an inside voice" becomes a major headache when your offspring have the same quirky trait and you're all in an elevator together. Similarly, realizing your tone of voice sucks most of the time and you need to stop whining, complaining, and over-reacting because the little people are clearly learning from your behavior.
  
  get me out of here
Am I the only one who struggles with these things? What makes you nuts (or ecstatic) about your kids?

One year ago: It's Not Creme Brulee.
Cookie Dough in Sheep’s Clothing

March 19, 2013

I saw a couple pins recently title "Cookie Dough Greek Yogurt". I'm usually skeptical of somewhat healthy foods that try to pass themselves off as delicious. A wolf in sheep's clothing, those healthful treats. Like, just because it has "cookie dough" in the title, my tongue will make it delicious. Dude, I lived sugar-free for months. As great as some of the sugar-free desserts are, they are great for being sugar-free.

Yet I've tried a couple versions of cookie yogurt and the wolf totally got me on this one. To be fair, there's not much of a sheep to speak of. I love all the ingredients: Greek yogurt (I'm a lover, not a hater), peanut butter, sweetener (I used agave nectar), vanilla, and sea salt. I have added in a squirt or two of chocolate syrup on occasion, also.

innocuous ingredients

It looks like pudding or soft serve ice cream and has pretty solid nutritional value (150 calories, 3 grams of fat, 20 grams of carbs, 7 grams of protein), so get over here, Wolfie. I'm gonna eat you.

might as well be ice cream… or cookie dough

two big fans of The Treat

Do you have any secretly healthy treat options? PLEASE SHARE!

One year ago: LLLL.
List of Last Week’s Labors of Love

March 18, 2013

– I like to think my voice sounds like Mary Lucia's (from The Current radio station 'round here)… It does not.

– Prince is so delightfully dirty even at 54. His new song, "Screwdriver"? Awesome.

– Speaking of Prince, I've heard from several people that Muse's new-ish song, "Madness", sounds like something "Prince wish he wrote". Amen. The guitar solo is very Purple One.

– After conducting an extensive trial of 2 (yes, TWO) different pairs of jeggings, I have decided that it's either leggings OR jeans for this girl, and not the ubiquitous hybrid. [Editor's note: After trying them on for The G, my theory was shot down as I didn't take measurements from a large enough sample. Apparently, they are "great" and something about "cream cheese".]

– Our house needs this book.

It is exactly what it says it is.

– Do you know where your waist is? It is WAY UP HERE! [point under rib cage] Seriously, how am I 34 years old and just realizing this?

– We took in MANY Irish-themed events over the weekend, owing to The G's affliation with some crazy Irishy band. Here, my unposeable children show us their nifty-gifties from the occasion.

glitter sticker, light up hair thing, and charm bracelet, duh

How was your weekend? Did you don your greenery and hit up some bars? Did you cower inside from the rowdy crowds?

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