Riot and Frolic

Whether you're new to the social dance scene, or you're a little rusty, or MAYBE YOU JUST NEED A REMINDER, here we go:

Before You Go

Hygiene

Steer clear of the onions, garlic, and spicy, delicious sausages for the 12 hour period before you hit the dance scene, hit the shower, wear some trustworthy deodorant and clean clothes, bring a towel or change of shirts if you're the "glowy" type, and regardless of your meals that day, pop a mint in your mouth.  

[And guess what? I've already written a post about hygiene.]

When You Get There

Ask someone to dance

You didn't go to a dance to not dance, so gather your gumption and walk up to a potential dance parter,

LOOK THEM IN THE EYE

SMILE

and say,

"Would you like to dance?"

Bold.  I know.

10 extra points if you offer your hand [men, palm up; ladies, palm down; yes, it's all very Bridgerton.]

NO POINTS ARE AWARDED WITHOUT EYE CONTACT, SMILING, AND WORDS FIRST.

Start the Dance

There's no "prom dancing" at ballroom events.  Or "Y dancing" for you Fred Astaire peeps. [Do they still do that? With the "Y dance when you can RUMBA?!" joke? IT IS SUCH A GOOD ONE.]

ANYHOW, once you have a partner, no matter who asked who, the gentleman escorts the lady to his favorite spot on the dance floor and does his best impression of regular ol' dance frame.  It doesn't have to be amazing, but it does have to exist.  (If you're sketchy on what constitutes "dance frame", please get thee to a professional.) Leads, you should swiftly offer your left hand to the follow to make it clear that you're going to start the dance. If you're doing a nightclub dance (Swing, Salsa, West Coast Swing, the like), feel free to offer two hand hold.

Generally at social dances, you can leave any thoughts of practicing your topline and phenomenal connection the door.  Or even outside the door.  MOST people go to social dances to [gasp] socialize with their dancing friends and acquaintances through shared movement to music, not to practice their shaping.

Dropping your elbows (and giving your partner subtle A-OK signs) is usually acceptable, especially on a crowded dance floor, as seen below.

Follow Line of Dance

Again, if you're sketchy on this term, call your local professional, but "follow the crowd" is a pretty good interpretation.  

Traveling dances always move counter-clockwise around the ballroom.  Strangely, the "fast lane" is on the outside of the floor, so if you're less than confident in your moving steps, stick to the corners, or shoot into the middle of the floor. (The same applies when you'd like to do Swing during a Quickstep or Foxtrot aaaand good luck if you're trying vice versa.)

Spot dances stay on a … spot … so choose a nice one.  Slot dances are usually danced parallel to the long side of the room.  

[Again, I have a pre-existing post on floorcraft, aka going line of dance.]

Dance the Entire Song

Unless you're square dancing, you should plan to spend the ENTIRE TWO MINUTES dancing with your chosen partner.  

Ballroom social dances might play their songs up to three minutes, but that's pretty Crazytown.  1:30 is usual and 2:00 is generally the longest.  

You can do it.  Wait for that fade out or the MC to signal the song is over.

(If you're dancing to a live band, all bets are off and I try to take the floor about halfway into a song so I don't die, but that's just me.  [Thank you, Jazz Band, for teaching me when "halfway" through a song is.])

[This post is related to social dancing, as well.]

Do the Dance

MEN, start with the basic, then add on a few foundation steps until you get a feel for your partner.  The point of a social dancing is to enjoyably share movement to a song, not to make her feel bad for not following your obscure lead of a pattern you kind of know. 

LADIES, do your best.  Go along with their timing (even if it doesn't exist) and see if you can add joy to the shared movement.

Laugh and smile if a mistake happens because you are DANCING.

DANCING IS FUN. 

DAMMIT.

Finish the Dance

When the dance is over, reverse the order of how you got on the floor:

ESCORT YOUR PARTNER OFF THE FLOOR.

Say, "Thank you for the dance."

SMILE.

MAKE EYE CONTACT.

10 extra points for a rollout at the end of the dance, but that is super extra and must be practiced a lot beforehand.  

NO POINTS WILL BE AWARDED WITHOUT EYE CONTACT, SMILING, AND WORDS.

After the Dance

You did it!  You went dancing and left a good impression on your partners and set a great example for other dancers.

Now, go do it again.

Disclaimers disclaimers disclaimers: I'm no Emily Post, but I do hear an earload from dancers when people get this stuff wrong.  Some of it is implicit (hopefully now explicit) and some of it is old-fashioned, but most of it is showing respect and courtesy to others.  Also, I generally use "gentlemen" for leads and "ladies" for follows, so deal with it. 

You better believe "What NOT to Do" is coming next.

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This episode is based on the ancient blog post from July 20, 2012.

Feel free to use the internet to look up "social dance etiquette"… or look here on Saturday.

And when I said "us" in this episode, I meant "you".  

LOVE YOU.

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This episode is based on the blog post from April 18, 2019.

The articles I mention from SK Dancesport are here: pros and cons of fake tanning products

And here: the perfect tan

GUYS. ALL MY FAVORITE TANNERS HAVE BEEN DISCONTINUED. 

But honestly, self-tanners have come a long way, so pick anything and try it out BEFORE YOUR EVENT.

Here's the highlighter/under-brow color I recommend : Nylon by MAC

Here's Boyko.

Here's DanceVision.

And here's my sources if you want to get nerdy:

https://www.ald.org.uk/blog/203395/lighting-skin-tones-in-theatre

https://www.iar.unicamp.br/lab/luz/ld/Diversos/maquiagem/Lights28.pdf

http://www.usailighting.com/stuff/contentmgr/files/1/54341a94e6953fb3afa22ed6800823de/misc/differentlightcolorsaffectskinandmakeup_xovain.pdf

When you first take up ballroom dancing, a regular night at the studio sort of looks like a bunch of normal people doing sort of similar things to what you're doing.  Maybe the instructors are a little bit more … Technicolor than you are, but everyone is speaking the same language and doing the same crossover breaks and basic steps, more or less.

Then you go to your first ballroom dance competition.  

As you walk through the vendors on the way into the actual ballroom, you already notice things are very different from than your usual visits to the studio.  

There's enough rhinestones to pay your mortgage, and maybe even your whole blocks' worth (although you probably called them sequins because you don't know the ways yet and that's okay).

Studio friends walk by on their way to the on-deck area with makeup and hair that is intimidating and sculptural, but you don't recognize them until 15 seconds after they said "hi" because #hairandmakeup.

You finally get in the ballroom, to find, NOT a refined and polite gallery that compliments the elegant dancing with hushed applause, but a loud, and often raucous crowd of loyal enthusiasts with obvious favorites who cheer constantly from 7am until 1am.  

In case you're new to the ballroom scene, or inviting friends, here's a primer for the uninitiated:

Dresses

What you see: If you're a fan of neutrals or like to blend in with the crowd, you might find the dance costumes a force to be reckoned with.  Bright colors, lots and lots of insanely sparkly rhinestones (finely cut crystals), and form-fitting lycra or spandex are the norm.  Unless you're a guy, in which case you usually don't get bright colors, but you do get everything else, just in black.

What it is: As in most parts of competitive ballroom dance, the point is to stick out and look good, especially under the stage lighting that most competitions use.  Hence, earth tones (which blend in with the floor, the background, and your skin color) usually lose out to neons and jewel tones and shiny shiny rhinestones.

Takeaway: If you're looking through the racks or just at the floor, you might think, "I could never wear that." But under the fantastic lights, often with a fake tan, and with the help of any of the amazing designers, you can find a dress or suit that you will LOVE.  Many of the dresses on the rack are made for pros (and made to fit pros, if you know what I mean).  Don't be discouraged if you find something pretty, take it from the rack and wonder if it was made for a child.  The majority of dress vendors' business is from making dresses for students JUST LIKE YOU.  They are very good at designing something that will a) look great on the floor b) feel comfortable on you.  

Makeup

What you see: It is not for the faint of heart.  There are dramatic colors, and lots of it, on dancers' face. 

What it is: Likewise to the costumes, stage makeup is a must.  In other words, the makeup INCLUDING TANNER that both girls and guys don is meant to enhance features that often flatten under stage lights and stay in place for hours even while everyone is sweating their eyeballs off.

Takeaway: It is heavy and dramatic and wonderful.  Once you get used to it.  And there are professionals that can do it for you!  Just like the amazing dressmakers, there are wonderful makeup artists that specialize in the theatrical makeup that will make you look great on the floor, especially if you don't know an eyeliner from a highlighter.

Hair

What you see: Beyond any "classic updo" or "date night" hair you've ever seen, are the creations that ladies' heads are donning as they walk on the floor.  The intricate, sculptural, and amazingly stationary hairdos of ballroom dancers is worth the price of a day ticket alone.

What it is: Again, everyone's hair has to look the same at the beginning of the day as it does at the end of the day.  That requires gel, hairspray, a multitude of bobby pins, and often an expert in ballroom hair to produce. 

There's certain hairstyles that come into fashion (there were a few years when many Rhythm dancers had short, flingy hair; Smooth dancers threw long locks around untethered, male Latin dancers rocked ponytails, now crimping is back!, etc.), but generally, slicked back and unmovable is a great rule. 

Takeaway: No matter what your head is rocking, the ballroom hair crew can style your tresses (or lack thereof) to a) look great on the floor b) last all day and night… and another day, if needed.

Dancing

What you see: Once you've figured out who your friends are underneath their competition finery, you might be surprised by their dancing prowess.  

Your favorite partner at the studio socials is looking SHARP dancing with their teacher and doing stuff way beyond the casual Waltz you usually share.  

Especially if you've had a couple lessons of your own, you might be looking for a move you recognize. But often, even the basic sneaks in under your radar because of all the extra styling and technique your friends have practiced.  

What it is: While competition and non-competition dancers are usually learning the same steps, the focus on execution can differ.  Dancers preparing for comps often spend much of their lesson time making things look good and adding technique at a level surpassing their syllabus figures.  So while you are watching a "beginner" dance, they have an excellent grasp of rise and fall/Cuban motion/arm styling/what-have-you.  

Takeaway: There's A LOT going on on a competition floor.  If you're looking at the program online and wondering what's up, this post might help. But if you're watching a daytime session, it's usually single dance heats (think track and field events) danced back to back and often there's more than one competition on the floor (there's one competition of 3 lady students with their pros who are between 36-45 years old and another competition of 6 gentlemen who are 46-55 dancing with their pros, and they're all on the floor dancing a Foxtrot at the same time; the judges are watching the two competitions and scoring them separately) .  When the awards come up, the blessed MC reads off all those results very quickly, so you gotta listen up if you're interested in those results.  The evening sessions are usually multi-dance events (like a triathlon or all-around in gymnastics), when the judges score 2-5 dances and the score for all of those dances is averaged to find the winner. 

Pros

What you see: Watching the evening session, you are excited to see your pro dance.  

If you haven't seen them dance professionally, you might be shocked.

First, your unassuming, down-to-earth, delightful instructor, who patiently tells you "your other right foot" 17 times a week and dances basics with you for weeks at a time, is UNRECOGNIZABLE when you first see them hit the floor.  11/10 on the hair, makeup, costume, dancing scale.

What it is: You will be impressed, in other words.

Takeaway: But it's no time to feel intimidated!  Pros love dancing their professional events, but generally love their pro-am events and teaching hours just as much.  (Okay, usually a little bit less, but it's still a really really great job.). Gush if needs be, or just be really proud that you have such an awesome dancer as your awesome teacher.  

Or cheer really loudly…

Audience

What you hear: One of the funniest parts of ballroom competitions for many people is realizing it's not a polite group of people sitting calmly and watching the arts unfold in front of them in a reverent and genteel way, applauding at the end of each dance while nodding in appreciation.  

What it is: It is a ballroom full of formally dressed people who are hollering, yelling, and whistling for their favorite couple (even if all of the couples are their favorites) from dawn until midnight.  And apparently ballroom dancing is great for one's lung capacity, because these fans are LOUD.

Takeaway: While the ballroom crowd loves a chance to dress up and look fancy as heck, they are also not shy about telling their friends (and the judges) on the floor that they're doing a great job by shouting out the guy's number, the couple's names, and general yelps of encouragement, often while holding an adult beverage in their hand.  Feel free to join in or wear earplugs.

Ballroom dancing often comes across to the uninitiated as an outdated, overly-refined diversion.  Hopefully, after a day at a ballroom dance competition, the neophytes will experience some of the fun and want to join in.

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How do you go to a competition or prepare for an event and feel great about it?  SET GOALS.  WORK ON GOALS.  I elaborate on those ideas in this week's episode.

I'm on Apple now!

This episode is based on the blog from September 13, 2013.

This book is worth the money.  It is Dance to Your Maximum by Maximiliaan Winkelhuis. 

Here's a picture of me dancing pro-am with my excellent instructor at Holiday Classic in possibly 2003:

Still waiting for Apple Podcasts to accept me at the cool kids' table, but Spotify is up and running.

This episode is based on this blog from November 10, 2015 with a important aside at the end (there's also some good links in the original post).

It's a short one, but WORTH YOUR WHILE. 

I'd love to see what you'd like to hear next, so leave a comment below.  Also, check out my new links (if you're desktop/laptopping it) in the sidebar.  

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This is has nothing to do with how to write a resume, in case you came across this on a Google search.  Or the Olympics.

For years, I've come across dancers' resumés and bios where people have billed themselves as Champion of So-and-So/Professional Blah-Blah-De-Blah/World's Greatest of Whatever.  And I love the self-confidence of throwing these titles out into the world and believing people are too busy to do an internet search.

Personally, I am an Olympic gold medalist ballroom dancer.  

I AM KIDDING. 

I am the champion of nothing, but I have had a pretty decent career in ballroom dancing.  You can still Google results I had from 2005, not to mention many after that.  And I'm "old", AKA Instagram didn't exist until I was well into my professional career. 

I'm in an industry where the people who compete professionally are working to be the best.  Like, HUNDREDS of couples are out there, every year, trying to be the best.  Taking coaching, traveling, buying costumes, practicing, working their asses off, ALL WANTING TO BE THE BEST.  And you know how many people win a national title every year in their style? One couple.  Two if you want to be generous and add in the rising star title, but then you're on a slippery slope to adding in the winners of the biggest or most prestigious or longest running or it's-nearly-the nationals comps that are out there.  

IT'S OKAY NOT TO HAVE WON.

Oh, don't get me wrong, it sucks.  I didn't spend thousands of dollars and hours and tears and swear words to be a completely adequate professional.  But this was the path I chose.  

AND I DON'T CLAIM I WON A BUNCH OF SHIT I DIDN'T WIN IN THE HOPES NO ONE REMEMBERS THE DANCESPORT SCENE 10 YEARS AGO.

BECAUSE THEY DO.

People who know what you did, know what you did.  Those knowledgeable people will search you out for their desired dance experience.  Personally, if I'm looking for a Rhythm coach, I know that person's name and how to contact them.

But the people who don't know, don't care.  If someone is Google-searching "ballroom dance lessons", they want a great teacher. People who don't know about the dance scene want to learn about dancing from someone who a) knows how to get them to dance b) is fun to be around.

As with massaging titles in one's resumé, samesies for using the signifier "professional".  Here's a definition:

• [only before noun] connected with a job that needs special training or skill, especially one that needs a high level of education/professional qualifications/skills/professional standards/practicea. "An opportunity for professional development" "If it's a legal matter, you need to seek professional advice."
• (abbreviation pro) (of sports) done as a paid job to make a living and not as a hobby [editor's note – even if paid]

There are MANY amazing amateurs in, let's say BALLROOM DANCING. But being an amateur ballroom dancer and a professional ballroom dancer are two different things.  There are different competitions and titles between the two, and an implied level of proficiency at, oddly, teaching ballroom dancing when one calls themselves a professional and often a time commitment surpassing even world-class amateurs.

Lastly, using time as an indicator of awesomeness also needs to stop.

"I've been playing trombone for 30 years" is true, except should we really count that first four years when I didn't really know what I was doing, or the years I loved band, but hated practice, or those 21 years after my band years where I didn't play one toot, but now have recently literally picked it back up again?  Pro'lly not.

Time spent at something is no indication of passion, talent, hours practiced, skill, or proficiency. It might simply indicate a prolonged tolerance for a certain activity.    

When you have to write that damn bio or resumé, stick to the facts of your awesomeness [there are many, I swear].  Find the best [most accurate and encapsulating] adjectives. Use testimonials and references. Have your friends help [they remember your best qualities better than you do, I swear].

You don't need a trophy or an inflated title, or a made-up title, or lifetime of experience to be really great at something.  But you do need that passion, talent, hours practiced, skill, and proficiency.  

GO GET IT.

Coming soon to Apple and now on Spotify, here's my voice, reading what you may have already read.

In perhaps a timely reminder for some locals, Episode 1 is "Things You Can Control at a Ballroom Dance Competition".

Star Wars references abound, my friends.

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