Riot and Frolic

a mostly ballroom dance, but also a bunch of other stuff, blog

  • Judges are not keeping judging criteria a secret.  All the things you work on in lessons?  That's what you're being judged on.  

    Many officials hesitate to answer the "how do you judge ballroom dancing?" because there's no short answer.  Even asking a judge why they marked you the way they did may not be an easy answer.  

    If you want to know what a judge thinks of your dancing, you may ask politely.  If they can summarize their impressions into a short sentence, they will probably tell you.  You should, however, be prepared to schedule a lesson with them, and listen (since you were asking in the first place).  

    The asking route is a much better and more educational and less annoying route than complaining about your scores and how certain judges "hate" you.  Most judges don't know you, and if they happen to not like you personally, they don't hold it against you on the dance floor.

    I am not qualified to judge ballroom dancing.  I have no certifications or accreditations*.  I only have 15 years of dance experience, about 11,000 hours of practice, 100+ competitions (some as a pro-am student or amateur, many as a pro-am teacher and professional), weeks' worth of coaching, and thousands of hours helping students improve their dancing.

    This is how I prioritize my marks when judging [non-NDCA sanctioned] ballroom dance competitions:

    Screen Shot 2014-03-02 at 7.52.04 PM

    This isn't a simple checklist, but a list of continuums that I find important. For example:

    Screen Shot 2014-03-02 at 7.52.31 PM

    Waltz should look like Waltz, Rumba like Rumba, etc.  A dance looks like a particular dance largely because of how it's timed to music.  Timing seems like a forgettable criteria because it's so obvious.  Ballroom dancing IS two people moving rhythmically to music.

    If you are dancing off-time (or with no timing at all, on the left end of the spectrum), you will not get marked.  I have seen several couples, uncontested, get 2nd place because they were dancing off-time.  Yes.  A second.  To themselves.  [Some of the new scrutineering software doesn't allow for uncontested seconds and that's makes me sad.]

    assume (with all the connotations) that if you're competing, you know how to dance the basic timing on the beat. If you cannot dance on the beat, you need to examine why you cannot:

    • are your current steps (choreography) too difficult to perform at the correct tempo?  

    This is the most common problem and the easiest one to fix when it comes to musicality.  It's also the problem couples are least likely to want to fix.  

    DO SIMPLER STEPS.  

    Doing "easier" steps might seem like a cop-out, a humbling experience, or a waste of time and money.  But what's more humbling?  Doing simpler steps, with ease, in time with the music, and showing the characteristic timing of a dance while continuing to work on your challenging routine off the competitive floor OR competing with your challenging routine and losing to someone who is choosing the first option?  

    The classic challenge: ask someone to watch your routines who hasn't seen them.  Don't turn on music.  Dance your routines.  Ask them what it is when you are done.  If they don't know, fix it.

    • are you unable to hear the beats in the music?  

    First of all, are you listening to the music?  Often, in competition settings, I believe couples often know how to, but they are caught up in THE DANCING or THE NERVES and have just stopped listening to what's coming in their ears.  

    So, you know… Listen to it.

    Secondly, if you really have a problem with beat identification, the easy answer is to listen to a ton of music, clap your hands/stomp your feet, and count.  Count all dances while you're on lessons, in group classes, and social dancing.  Have your instructor count as often as possible.  After a few weeks, this usually does the trick.

    • are there certain songs or dances in which you cannot hear the music?

    Dancers often have trouble defining the "2" in Mambo or a good Slow in Foxtrot.  Seek someone to give you guidance in different ways to count (anyone know the Cha Cha trick for Mambo?).  Find some obvious songs (heavy downbeats, lots of bass) from a music guru.  Often, it's just listening to lots of music and counting counting counting like mentioned above.  

    • do you know if you are dancing on the beat…or before it?

    I have seen many people dancing very confidently, off the beat.  The confidence is admirable, but I'm often holding my breath and leaning back while watching them, trying to help them slow down.While it's never quite off-time, each step is jumping the gun and the momentum of each subsequent step seems to bring them closer to not-on-time.  This is probably a problem in posture and consequent leg swing, but CHICKEN OR THE EGG.

    • are you unable to control your timing with the music no matter what the situation?

    Excitement, bad posture, poor muscle control – lots of things could be contributing to your lack of timing.  Get thee to a professional.  

    On the plus side, if you know the accent beats of a particular dance and can perform your steps while accenting the correct ones with the music, that is nice.  If you can make me think you have magically choreographed your routine to the song that happens to be playing, that is beautiful.  (Note: those moments are a most likely a combination of luck, dancing to a particular song often enough to recognize it in a pressure situation, actually listening to the music, and good choreography… all which add up to… musicality.)

    Next up: posture.

      image from http://aviary.blob.core.windows.net/k-mr6i2hifk4wxt1dp-14030322/7f72d0e5-cc70-4053-a3a6-d23c970f1723.png

     *Despite having taken many professional exams at two different studios and having the paperwork never sent in to actually get certified.  Cursed.  Neat.

  • – so proud of all the dancers I know that participated in Dance Fest this weekend.  Tons of improvement from last year AND some of them even had the balls to dance out of category THE RIGHT WAY (dancing Bronze figures in Silver level heats; dancing Silver in Gold heats).  And IT WAS AWESOME.  

     

    SO.

     

    AWESOME.

     

    – I got to judge a local competitions all day, drink coffee, hang out with adults, and eat a really superb box lunch (I'm not kidding; it was tasty).  While I have been told I'm judgemental, I was hired to do just that for a whole day AND I did what I wanted (I like that, I will mark them, I'm taking my shoes off, etc.) for 8 hours.  In other words, IT WAS A VACATION.

    – shaving is exhausting.  I think that is something that both sexes can agree upon. 

    – made crackers from this recipe.  There are Fine (yes, Soucie and Martin have heard this before), but I suggest rolling them super thin.

    – by the way, apparently, I do not know what 1/8" looks like.

    – got free tickets to Nickelodeon Universe from my favorite couple and took the girls on all the kiddie rides.  They were thrilled (scanning their bar code bracelets was exciting every. time.) and slept for 3 hours during naptime so THANK YOU.

    What kind of crackers do you like?  What staple do you always make instead of buy?  What do think of indoor theme parks?

    MV5BNTc1MjkxMDQ0MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODg5MTg5OA@@._V1_SX214_CR0,0,214,317_

  • Subtitle: While You Might Be A Good Dancer,  Everyone Rolls Their Eyes At You.

    1. You lack humility – Be grateful to all the teachers and champions and coaches and wise ones that came before you and LISTEN TO THEM.  Be surprised when you win, be thankful to anyone who helps you along a path to greatness, and be gracious to newcomers.  
    2. You think the rules do not apply to you – There are levels in place: Bronze, Silver, Gold, Open.  These levels were put in place by people who studied dance for a living and wanted to make a logical progression of fundamental movements that build on one another to make advancing to the next level relatively simple. Do not throw yourself around in Open routines and make others watch your clear lack of education in rise and fall, swing and sway, dance frame, or even standing the eff up because it's "more fun" than Bronze.   
    3. You don't work – A) Dancing is fun, learning to dance is not always fun.  B) Dancing is not an inate ability.  It is a learned skill.  C) Your talent will get you to a certain point, but your work ethic will take you infinitely farther.  D) You must practice many things many times.  
      What, you don't

      robin thicke said it best
    4. You're not having fun – It's SO clear when most people are not having a good time dancing, whether it's competitively or socially.  If you're not having fun, please figure out what would make you have fun: a different style, a different partner, a different song, a different pair of shoes, etc.  Then stop doing the thing that makes it not fun.  I repeat, DANCING IS FUN.  Make it so. 
    5. You inflate your resume – Are you really a champion?  Like, you won a National or World Championship?  Or, you won your freestyle events as a Pro-Am dancer against another girl in Bronze?  Hmmm…
    6. You "just" dance – "Just" is a terrible word. It means "exactly" but "easily" is implied. Ladies often say "I just follow" as a  qualification for dancing. OH GOD, please tell me you also know the basic timing and can move your can without a pretty wrestling match taking place. Guys often start a dance saying "just follow" and then proceed to GIVE NO LEAD WHATSOEVER or mixed signals, at best.  Please know what you're doing before foisting it upon an unknowing accomplice.
    7. You don't take lessons – group classes don't count.   What if you sat down at the piano to do a duet with someone, but had no prior knowledge of those black and whites in front of you?  If you're in Minnesota (Minnesota Nice, donchaknow), your partner might talk you through a torturous version of "Heart and Soul", but most other people would laugh you off the bench.  If you do not any educational experience, but are acting as if you do, see #1 and #3.
    8. You dance half-ass on lessons – The purpose of lessons is to make YOU a better dancer, not to make your shy, unconfident, anxiety-ridden self a better dancer.  The worst thing you can do is look stupid.  But you look stupid, trying not to look stupid, so… Go balls-out.  Get better faster.  
    9. You list "years experience" as a credential – Those X number of years of experience might have been filled with hiatuses, bad social dancing, bad teachers, children, divorces, world travels, and/or dancing.  I would be more impressed with "X number of hours in devoted practice time". Or even "$$ spent on dance lessons".  I will only be impressed by "years experience" if you say you've been dancing for 50 years and it looks like that would mean you started at -6.
    10. You haven't taken a lesson in over two years – There's a time and place for the kind of focused learning private lessons will grant you: you're competing, you're trying to build your repertiore/your frame/your ability, you're having fun learning and ballrooming is your hobby.  If you're out of the private lesson scene, you should check in and have a "tune up" every year or so.  Learn a new amalgamation, fix your shoulder in dance frame, what have you.  But if you are in a teaching position, you better have some current information on hand, in the form of a training workshop or coaching lesson (for you, not with your students).  
      1999

      prince knows your cha-cha is dated
    11. You think you learn by watching – Yes, DWTS fanatics and YouTubers, this means you.  It is one thing to be inspired by videos of amazing dancers, it's another thing to think you can do what they're doing.  And if you try to do what they're doing, you'll do it badly, because #1, #2, #3, #4, #5.

    What's your dance pet peeve?  

    Fc59d52c678322e32eb031068de8f7cf

  • "Healthy."

    I've been scanning Pinterest and the Googles for new recipes lately and it seems I have a very different definition of what "healthy" means when it comes to food.  As I am a born-and-raised Minnesotan (with an inate love of hot dishes, Midwestern meat-and-potatoes sensibility, butter, and bread), I am surprised that I am the skeptical one, as I read recipe descriptions.  Nevertheless, here are some guidelines I thought were obvious:

    • Just because a food is "baked, not fried" does not mean it is healthy.  Example: baked mozzerella sticks, baked potato chips.
    • If a recipe has a vegetable clearly stated in the title, it is not necessarily healthy.  Example: zucchini bread, carrot cake.
    • If there are equal parts vegetable and sugar, a food is healthy.  Example: see above.
    • When cheese, mayonnaise, and/or pasta are the majority of the main ingredients, the food cannot be classified as healthy.  Example: most Italian-American food, Minnesotan casseroles.
    • When there is no identifiable vegetable in a recipe, it may not be labeled healthy. Example: meatloaf.
    • If a vegetable is identifiable, but is smothered, fried, or mostly obscured by cheese, it is no longer healthy.  Example: stuffed mushrooms caps.
    • When the label touts low sugar/sugar-free or low fat/fat-free, "light", or "diet", it is probably not healthy. Example: Diet Coke.
    • If cereal AND marshmallows or corn syrup are involved, it is not healthy. Example: rice krispie bars.

    Someone tell me I'm wrong on the cereal/corn syrup one, so I can write off all my breakfasts in my 20s as wins.  

    7df06ce20d02bc6494a4026135317933

  • If you haven't read Hyperbole and a Half, you're missing out on ALL THE FUNNY THINGS people are referring to while writing in all caps.

    The Minnesotans, or precisely The Twin Citians, of the world were snowed/iced/wintered-in last weekend in a storm that made most of the land look like Hoth, and everyone was in need of a tauntaun.

    just don't drive

    driving conditions were… not favorable

    You're welcome for the Star Wars references, you nerds.

    I posted on Facebook the list of products I created during the lock-in and many of you asked for recipes.  Here's the line-up, the links to my sources, and a light review:

    • banana buckwheat granola - I like buckwheat groats; they're crunchy while not being too earthy.  I dig how this recipe made nicely-sized chunks and little cereal-type bits of goodness.  The girls dig it and they do not always like my granola trials.
    • Nutella cookies – damn.  Damn. Damn. Damn.  If you have a Costco-size jar, of course you are going to make a double batch.  In an atypical fashion, you will foresee utter demolition of the first batch and will freeze the second batch for when you need to eat your feelings.  BRILLIANT.
    • zucchini oatmeal muffins – this recipe was based on the very favorably rated "Mom's Zucchini Bread" recipe on allrecipes.com (as linked to), but I subbed most of the sugar with agave nectar, and the oil with yogurt, and half of the flour with oatmeal, and then they became more like an interesting variation on Bopenmeal. Still good, just less sugary and probably-kill-you-in-the-long-runny.
    • meatloaf – meatloaf is like chili: I throw a bunch of things together and hope it doesn't taste bad. It usually works.  
    • creamy carrot curry soup – I haven't actually eaten this yet, but since the recommendation came from the waitstaff of my favorite restaurant, I'm sure it will be delish.
    • rosemary bread – to be fair, I didn't make this.  V literally made the whole thing herself.  It was impressive and awesome and from now on, she will doing ALL THE COOKING AROUND THIS PLACE.

    Got any new recipes you'd like to share?  I'm dying for some delicious crock pot recipes that won't kill me.

    F559e9572dbed415d0b8bcddafc255a7

  • – I still totally agree with myself about the running in winter thing because running and swearing is FUN.

    – did you know that is possible to take your foot off the gas pedal AND not put your foot immediately on the brake pedal?  It's true.  

    – if I have a day off, I will make ALL THE FOOD: banana buckwheat granola, Nutella cookies, zucchini oatmeal muffins, meatloaf, creamy carrot curry soup, rosemary bread, fish 'n' chips, and roasted tomatoes.

    – there are a lot of CSAs (Community Supported Agriculture; aka, farm shares; aka, not having to go to the store to get produce and other farm-raised goodies) out there and I am researching ALL OF THEM.

    – "aka" is one of those words that doesn't seem like a word after using it a lot, even if it is only an abbreviation.

    – upon hearing that Oprah Winfrey wants the highly-anticipated screen version of the "50 Shades" book to be filthier and contain less talk and more action, I suggest she watch a porno and call it a day. And maybe stop recommending books.   Because, yikes.

    Penelope is on Netflix.  Watch it.  

    – I feel like an actor on a talk show, giving you a glimpse at my coming attractions.  

    Meh.  How was your weekend?

    7fad710c0db871405ebfa9edee796de0

  • Besides looking like a total badass plowing through snowstorms (or "a crazy white lady", as my friendly neighbors call me), there are TONS of reasons running in winter is way better than running in summer:

    1. don't have to look nice – no one can tell who you are under those 7 layers of clothes, so there's no pressure to look like a supermodel [reference: Summit Avenue in summer].
    2. you HAVE to go shopping – because you need those extra 7 layers.  And they have to be GOOD 7 layers if you're running in the Polar Vortex, so you might as well go here or here.
    3. there's no stopping – it's so damn cold and you can already not feel your butt, so you have to KEEP RUNNING. 
    4. you'll go faster – similar to the reasons above, the faster you run, the quicker you get done, and into a nice, steaming, hot shower.
    5. it's so dry that you're basically training in the desert – the low humidity of the frozen months makes for springtime to feel like a veritable flood of oxygen on your poor, dried-up respiratory tract.
    6. you might as well double your distance – not finding purchase on slippery pavement means your strides are cut short.  All that slipping and sliding and perceived effort for a 3 mile run? I say, 6 MILES.
    7. automatic cross training – all the snow and ice adds up to an abductor, adductor, ankle flexion, balance, and coordination exercise. IMG_8520
    8. easier to correct your form – with the long shadows, you can quickly check your form. IMG_8519
    9. steaming is neat – when you rip off your hat at the end of your run and see the steam rising from your head, you can't help but think you are awesome.

    Running + winter > running + spring/summer/fall

    D5254f294abacfb3e8f57d6dcf2d0db9

    Two years ago: LLLL, in which I pretend I'm on Facebook.

     

  • – I'm not telling you what to do, but you should listen to this, preferably with a bumpin' stereo system, a glass of Courvoisier, and someone sexy nearby:

     

    ditto for this:

     

    – happy belated Valentine's Day.  I hope you did something ridiculously indulgent for yourself or someone else.

    – our ballroom dance studio, Mill City Ballroom, had a huge week, mostly because one of our dear couples GOT ENGAGED… ON THEIR LESSON!  It was VERY exciting.  I even got to be in on it, helping to set up the situation and then taking pictures [no pressure!] of the ye olde taking-of-the-knee.  BEST FREAKING WISHES, YOU ADORABLE YOUS.

    – AT&T customer?  Check out their [possilby new] plans online.  I was a bit irate to find out I was paying $20 more for 10GB [10GB!] less compared to their new plans.  Needless to say, I signed up for the better plan right away.  Because SOMEONE can't stop streaming music from this site.

    – Are you watching Sherlock on BBC?  To hell with Downton Abbey, YES TO HELL WITH IT, because as much as I love the Dowager Countess and everyone dying,  MARTIN FREEMAN AS WATSON and WATSON and SHERLOCK and LESTRADE and MARY and MARK GATISS and STEVEN MOFFAT and WATSON.

    – I'm not yelling at you, really. I JUST LOVE LIFE.  And I figure it's more like actually having a conversation with me if I emphasis volume [punch you in the shoulder].

    How's February treating you?  

    1721681480fecaf10bd5e9265f2fe877

    Two years ago: Pinterest Project – Raining Babies, in which I try to make things awkward.

  • There's a lot of things to feel bad about as a parent of small children: feeding your kid the "right" foods, sending them to the "right" school, not dropping them on their heads, etc.  Here's some things you shouldn't feel bad about your child doing/having/getting:

    • dirty fingernails.
    • dirty faces.
    • ah, hell, dirt IN GENERAL.  Those small humans are untidy animals with not much in the way of  hygiene-based instincts.
    • dirty looks from people who have forgotten that A) they were children once and annoyed total strangers at some point also or B) see A).
    • food/snot/other bodily fluids on your clothes.  Most of the time, you won't notice anyway.
    • loud noises in public spaces.  Every kid has to have a meltdown in a grocery store.  It's a right of passage.  As long as YOU don't have a meltdown along with them, it's cool.  
    • saying inappropriate things loudly or directly to people's faces.  That swear word or family secret or huge mole on your butt are fun conversation pieces as far as they're concerned.  Blush and move on.
    • being in the lowest/highest percentile; being behind/ahead/directly on top of the curve.  Everyone's different and that's okay.
    • bribing your kid.  You said you'd never do it, and now you're doing it.  You know why?  It works.
    • lack of the appropriate amount of clothing.  Public nudity happens.  Maybe it's the stage where their belly button is HILARIOUS, or maybe they're hiding from you by pulling their skirt over their head, or maybe they came out of the bathroom without their pants pulled up, but they're not going to get arrested for public indecency and neither are you.
    • feeding them crappy food.  There's not enough time to feed them homemade, organic, fresh, non-GMO, whole grain, dairy-free, gluten-free, non-processed food for every meal 365 days a year.  Chicken McNuggets are weird and delicious.
    • "screen time".  Because you needed 10 minutes and Elmo knows his ABC's.

    Granted, you shouldn't let all of these things slide every day, but do you remember that weird little thing you brought home from the hospital?  I mean, that baby didn't even  know how to eat yet. And now it's making noise and sometimes noises that are words and sometimes it even listens to directions or helps with stuff.  You're making that weird little thing become a less weird, bigger thing and that's amazing.  You get to show that baby how funny, loving, and entertaining the world can be.  And that's overwhelming and hard work and tiring and fulfilling and 24/7/ALLTHEFREAKINGTIME and sometimes you need a coffee break. 

    Cheers.

    032e35302d1bef33390ad256a73421b2

  • – started a new running program.  This is great news for my stamina, and heart, and lungs, and muscle tone, but NOT FOR MY FACE.

    image from http://aviary.blob.core.windows.net/k-mr6i2hifk4wxt1dp-14021104/fc66122f-8441-4693-ac24-1e8b9f4b8c22.png

    depressed alien gets it

    [- DepressedAlien.com is hilarious.  Check it out.]

    Because who DOESN'T start running when it's NEGATIVE TWO DEGREES OUTSIDE?  

     

     

    I DON'T KNOW!!!

     

     

    Mill City Ballroom is running, also…  More often and better then I am, by the way.  Every week, I'm surprised by the amount of people who show up to our stuff.  I was pretty sure last week's group class was going to be a total bust; the combination of Viennese Waltz and Bolero usually makes people more ill than motivated.  And then 25 people showed up.  And they knew it was Viennese Waltz and Bolero.  Sadists.  

    So, I'm, like, working.

    – having a cold.  Actually, I'm just coughing a lot.  And that's fun.  

    A) the rattle-y noise that accompanies my breathing is novel.

    B) I'm getting a great ab workout.  

    What are you all up to?  Avoiding the wind chill?  Warming your tootsies by a fire?

    6377d772ca8cae827da75faf9b67243d