Riot and Frolic

a mostly ballroom dance, but also a bunch of other stuff, blog

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about

I own and rock people’s faces off teaching ballroom dancing at Dancers Studio in St. Paul, MN. My husband and I compete professionally in American style and wrangle eight children in our spare time. I’ve been teaching and competing in ballroom dancing for over 25 years and have lots of opinions on it. I am an expert by any means, but there are quite a few dancers who are better than me and I have a solid knowledge of basic technique, so suck it.

  • September Mixed Tape

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    The best way to start something is just begin doing it, without making any excuses for why you haven't been doing it or had been wanting to do it but didn't, and acting like it's no big deal that you're doing it.  

    So here:

     

    This month's playlist starts with the very lovely second movement from John Ireland's "A Downland Suite" in honor of some very dear ladies and their families.  (Since I'm no good with words in sad times, I figure music is the way to go, and you would probably understand that.)

    Then we get a pretty Standard from Shelby Lynne (that you can also Rumba to) and some sexy guy singing a nice song.

    Things start to get funky after that, with some sharp horns from the unstoppable Mark Ronson, followed by the dulcet tones of Sam Smith.

    In the middle, I have the "Songs That Annoy Me, But I Like Anyway" section featuring Jason Derulo (did he really have to slaughter that Imogen Heap song?) and Nick Jonas (why are you so hot and why do you pound your chest so often in this video?).

    Then we have the HILARIOUS AND AWESOME lineup with "40 Oz. on Repeat" and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis' "Downtown".  Macklemore and Ryan Lewis have continually amused me to NO END with their hilarious videos and witty lyrics, and this is no exception.  It's right up there with "Thrift Shop" and I'm more than a little sad that there's no obvious ballroom beat to it, because I want to bump this all. day. ["I'm going 38, Dan" will now be my smartass comeback to everything.]

    "It Takes Two" is just an obvious classic.

    I ❤ Meghan Trainor.

    Then you get a Cha Cha and a Swing that really really don't suck.

    And "Sunday Candy"? SO GOOD.  

    Enjoy September, you crazy kids.

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  • July Mixed Tape

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    I was so not impressed by Spotify, which I tried out for June's Mixed Tape.  

    My new format?  YouTube.

    Bless you, YouTube.

    July Mixed Tape

     

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  • I’m Off Facebook

    This title will confuse you, because you most likely got to this post by clicking a link… on Facebook. 

    No, I didn't delete my account.  I didn't change my privacy settings.  I didn't even edit my friends list.  But I did take the app off my phone and I changed my Facebook landing page to my personal page, and not the news feed.

    Here's the thing: I like you.  I met you somewhere and we get along and have things in common.  

    But reading the "news feed" made me anxious.  And mad.  And sad.  And unlike you (not literally, because dang, finding that button is too much work).

    I didn't like the complaining (#firstworldproblems, anyone?).  I didn't like the abused animal stories with graphic pictures.  I didn't like the political posts which made people who seem to like each other be mean to one another and strangers be really mean to one another.  I didn't like the horrible headlines about terrible people doing terrible things to children that I had to read otherwise my imagination would take over [it couldn't be as bad as the headline made it sound, right?] and it turned out my imagination was just as awful as what really happened.  

    I didn't like 40% of what I scrolled through many MANY times per day.  

    [It was literally 39% bad news based on my highly-scientific research that consisted of scrolling my feed a couple times and making a hash mark next to "Happy", "Funny", "Inspiring", or "Interesting" on the positive side or "Depressing", "Political", or "Ticks me off somehow" on the negative side.  FYI, 26% of posts were links.]

    I really like reading your self-deprecating posts about anything, your posts about overcoming challenges of any kind, your posts about coffee and bad drivers, and your funny observations.  I totally want to hear about real sorrow that you or your loved ones are feeling and I will send you SO MUCH VIRTUAL LOVE.  I love seeing your vacation photos, your kids growing up, and your lunch.  And I'll miss that.  

    Don't be afraid; I'm still posting to the ye olde FB.  I'm just avoiding the news feed.  You'll still get my hilarious, insightful, positive, and informative updates.  Oh, and a ton of this ridiculousness you're reading.

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  • OUTRAGE!

    Why aren't more people outraged at toilet paper companies?

    This is the "bath tissue" aisle at a certain superstore:

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    This aisle of pretentiously-dubbed "bath tissue" (are they afraid to use the word "TOILET" [I'm not: toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet]) takes up about 650 square feet of store space and one company has a package with four rolls in it.  

    ONE COMPANY!  

    FOUR ROLLS!

    Otherwise you are looking down the barrel of 12 rolls.

    TWELVE ROLLS, PEOPLE.

    MINIMUM.

    Multiple companies offer many variations on "quilted", "cushiony", "thick", and "soft" two-ply rolls of goodness in 12 to 24 or more packages.  

    To add insult to injury?  Those scrawny, old-house-storage-space-appropriate, single-occupancy-dwelling-sized 4-packs?  

    SINGLE PLY.  

    My family of 5-ish goes through four rolls a week.  That means, as the solitary resident of a home, you either dedicate the floor of a closet to toilet paper storage for a year or you are forced to endure single ply.

    SINGLE PLY.

    Let's boycott the toilet paper companies!

     

     

    Wait.

    No.  

    Don't do that.

    Maybe let's write them strongly worded letters?

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  • Mirror, Mirror on the EVERYWHERE

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    Those mirrors.  They are all over those damn dance studios.  

    Taunting you.  Telling you you're not the fairest in the land.

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    But that's just your brain talking.

    Sometimes you need to ignore your brain and use your EYES. 

    Your eyes will tell you mirrors are helpful.  It's almost like someone put them there for a reason.

    Mirrors are on walls at dance studios so you can look at what you're doing and do it better.  

    Let's say you're the average Joe and your teacher tells you to put your arm like *this* [teacher says *this* while showing you what it should look like]. 

    You are like, "Yeah, yeah, got it, Teach [psssht, so easy]" and proceed to do exactly *this*. 

    But then you happen upon your reflection in Those Damn Mirrors and your arm looks NOTHING like *this*.

    DAMMIT.

    The problem is, most of us have no idea what our bodies are doing.  

    How many times have I told people to take a "side step", and then had them look at their feet to see it was not at all sideways?  ONE MILLION. 

    How many times has your instructor told you to have your arm horizontal or above? How many pictures do you have of yourself with your arm below horizontal? ONE MILLION.  

    How many times have you seen yourself in the mirror and realized you're not standing up straight? SOOOOO MANY.

    Our proprioception sucks.

    However, once you get to the point where you know what looks good and what doesn't (which is surprisingly early in your dance career), by looking in Those Damned Mirrors, you can make adjustments to make yourself more fabulous.  You can keep an eye on your partner to make sure you're matching when you're supposed to be matchy-matchy.  You can see when your shoulders start making out with your earlobes in promenade position.  You can see the line you thought felt kind of wonky looks pretty wonky, too.  

    It's like watching your competition videos, except for free… and with less alcohol involved.

    Stop listening to your brain.  Listen to your eyes.  Look in the mirror and get better.

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  • Less Worse & More Better

    There was this mysterious concept I heard of several years ago (probably in my last few years at college, in hindsight) called a "beer shower".  I could not fathom what this term referred to at the time, which is really a shame.

    I now know that a beer shower is the action where, upon finding one's self hungover (or maybe in preparation for a big day of shenanigans), a person fetches a cold one from the fridge and precedes, with beverage, into the shower for the usual cleaning regimen, imbibing the refreshment periodically.  It is known as "hair of the dog" or "the preamble" depending on the situation.  

    Often, I've "needed" to take my coffee into the shower with me.  I reeeeeeally enjoy relaxing with my cuppa in the "morning" (aka before anything requiring brain activity happens, which might be in what most people call the "afternoon").  My nearly-meditative enjoyment of my coffee usually runs into my oh-my-gosh-I-ran-5-miles-and-smell-terrible-and-am-about-to-go-in-public panic, leaving me with liquid still in my cup.  

    To extend the reverie and make it even better, I take my coffee with me in the shower and set it on the ledge within arm's reach and out of the stream of water, similar to the above-mentioned beer shower.  I finish my coffee in the relative peace and quiet and solitude of the bathroom and proceed to be the little ray of sunshine you see now.

    Need to make your morning less worse or more better?  Enjoy a beer or coffee shower and start your day off right!

    In other words, cheers!

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  • Grown Ass Women Advancement League – First Five

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    I was trying to think of something amazing to call these first set of badges, a name that would elude to 46 levels of GAWAL-y yet to come, but I exhausted my naming skills on the club name.  And those kids I have.  So, there it is.

    RULES AND REGULATIONS TO EARN YOUR BADGES:

    • descriptions or photographic evidence of badge-earning shenanigans must be posted to social media (Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter [if you're desperate]) 
    • you must utilize the search facilitator popularly known as a "hashtag", specifically named #GAWAL, preferably along with the badge you are attempting to earn (ex. #happyhour) 
    • if you're not "into" the social media "thing", you may email your documentation INCLUDING HASHTAGS (to spite your lack of social media) to riotandfrolic@gmail.com
    • when referring to The Grown Ass Women Advancement League, you may abbreviate by saying "The League" or "GAWAL" (pronounced "GWWWWWAAAAAAALLLL" like an excited futbol announcer, not "gay-wall")
    • any variations on the rules and regulations are subject to mockery

    First Five Badges

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    Find the most ridiculous fitness class you can: Zumba, CrossFit, BootyBurn, PoleFitness, spinning, MMA, triathlon training, Barre, ballroom dancing… And do it.  With gusto. 

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    Brown butter? Roux? Mirepoix? Souffle?  Ah, hell, a great steak or piece of fish?  Make that intimidating dish and tell us about it.  

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    Go somewhere with a kid (a kid you have permission to take, of course).  Some would call this "babysitting", but Baby Wranglers should try The Supermarket or The Movie Theater or The Zoo.  Already have kids?  ADD ONE that is not your own.  Need kids?  I KNOW SOME YOU CAN BORROW.  Gold stars may be earned for quality kids' quotes included in reports.

    HHgawal

    Negroni, Manhattan, Old-Fashioned, Martini, Sidecar, mojito, margarita, daiquiri, mint julep, Long Island iced tea, good ol' Cosmo: the classic cocktail.  Make one.  Drink one.  Bonus points for wearing heels and a bad-ass dress while doing it.  Bonus more points for doing it before 5pm.

    INHOSgawal

    Extend an invitation to a friend.  Don't clean the house.  Don't plan a meal.  Don't go shopping.  Don't get out of your loungewear maybe.  Have a crappy-dinner date.  Or mediocre-lunch date.  Don't feel bad about it.  Relish the realistic time with your bud. 

    GET EARNING

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  • Grown Ass Women Advancement League

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    A year ago, I had this idea for "Women Scouts" where one could earn badges (like, literal badges, not the ever-popular virtual ones you can earn in an app) for doing adulty things like hosting a sleepover for your kid and their friends, cooking a mysterious and intimidating dish, fixing the toilet, and other amazing feats of responsibility.

    Since I'm generally try to avoid trademark infringement lawsuits, I came up with a different name for the troupe, hence the "Grown Ass Women Advancement League".  

    If you're a man and want to play along, feel free to use this graphic:

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    Get ready to challenge your coming-of-age by earning such badges as:

    – Move it or Lose it

    – Food Argument  

    – Baby Wrangler 

    – Inhospitable Award

    – Happy Hour

    – and many more!

    Are you in?  Prove it.  Send me your address, like the mailing kind.  Blow up social media with your adult prowess and hashtag the shit out of your badge-i-ness abilities.  Play along and I will send you literal badges, like the button-y kind, to grace your reusable grocery bags [or something].  And maybe a membership certificate.  And the secret handshake.  

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  • Ballroom Dancing is Not for Everyone

    Ballroom dancing is not for everyone.  It is for a select group of people.

    Is ballroom dancing right for you?  Let's find out…

    It is for the engineer.  The nerd.  The guys with protractors and possibly a pocket protector.  Ballroom dancing is for you.  There are manuals, WRITTEN MANUALS, for dancing.  These manuals give you angles (for those protractors) for all your figures along with strict regulations on what can precede and follow each figure.  And those angles?  Those angles are just for your feet.  Your body (your torso) gets a-whole-nother angle!  Mathematicians rejoice!

    Are you an organizer?  Type A?  A little OCD maybe?  Did you read the part about the figures with the precedes and follows?  You could write a FLOW CHART, my little anal-retentive ones!  

    Were you a star athlete in high school or college?  Retired after too many injuries?  Ballroom is your new sport.  Competitive and progressive, Dancesport (as the Olympic committees like to call it) will fill your void without ruining any cartilage.  Low-impact cardio and a competitive outlet?  Blue ribbon for YOU, Dancesport!

    Do you hate exercising?  If you would call yourself fitnessly disinclined, ballrooming is for you.  The music, the social aspect, and the relative ease of movement is like Zumba, without the… Zumba.  In other words, you'll forget you're "working out" and be burning hella calories while smiling your face off.

    Dig music?  Music lovers will dive into their iTunes libraries and vinyl collection with renewed vigor after a class or two in the ballroom.  The variety of songs and artists and genres that will sing from the heavens "I'm a RUMBA!" will shock and amaze anyone, but sends audiophiles reeling with new ways to categorize music.   Not to mention, now you need to find the PERFECT Rumba/Foxtrot/whatever to practice to/squirrel away for a Showcase routine.   

    The student.  Not just the I'm-of-school-age type, but the I'm-always-learning type.  Ballroom dancing will give you a lifetime of skills to study, practice, and learn.  And even when you think you've learned something to its fullest extent, there it is… More of the extent…  Yay!

    The wallflower.  With dance etiquette (or lack thereof) being what it is, as long as you can gather up your gumption to NOT lean against the literal wall and stand on the edge of the floor, you will dance.  And you probably won't have to talk to anyone.  Or really even meet them.  You just get to dance.  Awkwardness averted!  But over time, you might get comfortable with this not-so-new group of strangers and shed the wallflower status.  Personal growth!

    The extrovert.  Not to save the obvious for last, but ballroom dancing provides a great outlet for socializing, performing, and generally being OUT THERE.  It's an extrovert's delight.  

    Do you fit in one of these categories?  Then get thee to a ballroom dance studio!

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  • Life Goals Based on the Silver Screen

    Annie (1982) was my favorite movie when I was growing up.  I wanted to swim in that indoor swimming pool.  And meet Punjab.  And belt out a line like Little Orphan Cindy who sang "Rover, why not think it over." 

    But most of all, I wanted to be Miss Hannigan.

    She wore sassy pajamas all hours of the day.

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    She drank a thing called gin.

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    She didn't wash off her makeup.

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    She made the kids do all the chores.

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    She sang the best song on the soundtrack. 

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    She yelled and threatened a lot.

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    But she had a heart of gold.

    Well, she didn't let Rooster kill Annie, anyway.

    And she rode an elephant at the end of the movie!

    …

    Besides the elephant and the bathtub of gin, I AM Miss Hannigan.  

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