Riot and Frolic

a mostly ballroom dance, but also a bunch of other stuff, blog

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I own and rock people’s faces off teaching ballroom dancing at Dancers Studio in St. Paul, MN. My husband and I compete professionally in American style and wrangle eight children in our spare time. I’ve been teaching and competing in ballroom dancing for over 25 years and have lots of opinions on it. I am an expert by any means, but there are quite a few dancers who are better than me and I have a solid knowledge of basic technique, so suck it.

The Domestic Type

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I was recently flipping through Women's Health, which is a bit like Cosmo for the fitnessly inclined, when I came across this little column: 

The Guys Next Door

Real talk on relationships from three of the gents who put the "men" in Men's Health

Q: I'm not the domestic type (cooking, cleaning).  Thoughts?

Thanks! I DO have some thoughts*:

  • Are you eight years old?
  • Are you Paris Hilton?  
  • For the picture book lovers out there, is your name Eloise?

Because unless you answer "yes" to any of those, I'm not sure how you can qualify "cooking, cleaning" as being domestic.

Basic skills for an adult to have?  Yes.  "Domestic"?  No.  

It'd be one thing if the question was:

I'm not the domestic type (polishing silver, serving lords and ladies tea, darning socks) and I got offered a job as a housemaid in an English country house.  Thoughts?

But that was not the question.

It seems like the next question should be:

I'm not the girly-girl type (showering, brushing my teeth).  Thoughts?

Okay, okay.  I know.  It's a silly little question in an innocuous magazine with no context whatsoever. But EXPECTATIONS, PEOPLE.  In other words, I HAVE EXPECTATIONS FOR MY PEOPLE.

My relatively small children know how to make themselves a simple meal and [with adult supervision] sometimes even a less-simple one.  They know when the floors have dirt and dog hair and jelly all over them that they need to get a mop out.  I'm not bragging; I thought this was part of the way I am expected to prepare them for life (along with teaching them how to ride a bike and not be an asshole and maybe be an asshole when someone deserves it and right and wrong and math and all that). 

I understand that not everyone wants to schedule their cleaning using FlyLady routines, or meal prep all 21 times they need to eat in a week, or clean out their junk drawer using the Konmari method, or even vacuum once in awhile, but odds are you are not living alone for most of your life, so who the hell is doing these basic domestic chores for you?

It is GREAT to share responsibilities with others.  OBVS.   It's also great to be able to rely on yourself.  

Am I crazy in expecting this?  Did your parents give you chores?  Teach you domestic skills?  Did it help you later in life?

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Six years ago: The Pinterest Project – Flowers 

 

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