Contrary to evidence, I do not enjoy being pregnant. It makes me feel like Chris Farley, and while comparing oneself to a comedy legend seems awsome, I'm talking about the sweaty and out of breath part, which is not awesome.
Besides being held back by social restraints, not being to bend over properly, and being consistently surprised at the orb my mid-section has become, there are some perks:
- The Free Pass #1 – I have a husband. We have three girls. We teach ballroom dancing. Specifically, he teaches women how to ballroom dance. It doesn't add up to the most testosterone/estrogen balanced life. Carrying the first man-child? FREE PASS.
- The Free Pass #2 – I'm pregnant, therefore I might space out certain ongoing appointment times or have trouble finding my keys or jump tracks in a conversation 10 times in 2 minutes. FREE PASS.
- People are nice. – Men hold doors and stand up for me on the train and people smile and generally make small talk more. WHAT IS THAT?
- I'm amazing – Anything I do on the regular seems pretty extraordinary to other people when there's a basketball attached to my pelvis. Granted most knocked-up ladies I have known are more active than inactive, yet it still doesn't seem odd to me that runners/dancers/snowboarders/yogis still run/dance/snowboard/do yoga "until the stirrups". But other people seem to think otherwise and I'M GOING WITH IT.
- Clothes – I hate many maternity clothes, but if you search really hard, you can find the really nice ones that feel like pajamas. PAJAMAS THAT LOOK LIKE CLOTHES.
- Fashion – Even with the revelation above, there's not much I can't get away with. I mean, what is someone going to say to a pregnant lady? We're crazy. Hormones, you know. Huge flowered headband? Let's put you on today!
- Boobs – Let's face it, for someone who doesn't regularly have cleavage, the appearance of mountains and valleys is pretty exciting. Plastic surgery without the surgery AND you don't have to keep them. BOOBS.
Riot and Frolic 
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