Riot and Frolic

In case you needed a reminder, there are rules for this subject.

But let's get more in detail BECAUSE YOU ASKED:

• Being pregnant is Weird.  
• There is A PERSON in there.
• THAT is Weird.
• I sweat a lot as it is, and a lovely side effect (this time around) is that I sweat MORE.  There is not so much "glistening" as an often-needed towel.
• I am out of breath: going up the stairs, making excited conversation (which is almost my job), after getting off the couch, whatevs.  Again, there's A PERSON in there; things are a little cramped, including my diaphragm.
• I am crabby.  Make that "Crabby".  Along with the sweatiness and heavy breathing which are annoying, there's the HORMONES, and let me tell you, they are a force to be reckoned with.
• I work in a world that expects a very high level of physical fitness and while I know it's A PERSON coming along in there, it is SHOCKING to have my midsection growing at this rate.  It is VERY difficult not to see it as "getting fat".
• Along those lines, "the bump" has quickly developed to "the ball" and I haven't quite figured out my depth yet.  I have embarrassingly ran the extremity into people without the appropriate forethought.  
• "Maternity fashion"? Oxymoron. It seems that the designers at many stores and brands (I'm looking at you, Motherhood Maternity) think that dressing a preggo lady means making the most frumpy, bump-obvious clothes possible.  "Have an empire waisted tent that happens to be too short to cover all of your belly."  NEAT.  Not that I'm trying to hide it, but can I wear something ANYTHING cute for the next four months?
• I eat soft cheeses and deli meat, exercise, drink coffee, and do pretty much everything I did non-pregnant (except running… I just can't), but with the fun side effects listed above.  

The correct response to this is "My, you look lovely today" (which at least one lovely man has used several times) and give me a damn cookie.

🙂