Riot and Frolic

a mostly ballroom dance, but also a bunch of other stuff, blog

recent posts

about

I own and rock people’s faces off teaching ballroom dancing at Dancers Studio in St. Paul, MN. My husband and I compete professionally in American style and wrangle eight children in our spare time. I’ve been teaching and competing in ballroom dancing for over 25 years and have lots of opinions on it. I am an expert by any means, but there are quite a few dancers who are better than me and I have a solid knowledge of basic technique, so suck it.

Dancing Badly – Performance Edition

How To Perform Badly While Ballroom Dancing

  • schlump.  When you want people to think you're a terrible dancer, do your best to hunch.  Lower you head, stick out your belly, and be as short as possible.  
  • don't smile.  Everyone wants to see someone having fun, so try more "angry" faces.  Channeling apathy, fear, or thoughtfulness also works wonders.
  • dance off-time, or with inconsistent rhythm.  Only dancers who know what they're doing dance with the music.  By all means, just move your feet at any old time.
  • wearing the wrong "furnishings".  Ladies: strapless dresses and showing your bra are good choices.  Your, and everyone else's,  concern of a imminent wardrobe malfunction will make your dancing a second priority to what you're wearing.  Men: white socks and white underwear are classic.*  

OH WAIT.  YOU MEAN YOU'RE TRYING NOT TO PERFORM BADLY?

PLEASE GOD, THEN, STOP DOING THOSE THINGS!

Tips for Performing Well

  • stand up tall, you beautiful you.
  • smile like you mean it.
  • dance on time.
  • wear something that looks and feels good.  Second opinions and the chart below might help.

Women's Furnishings
* Men, your in-depth version is coming soon.  

Happy Friday!

Be58b0ac54b8ebcc9c951abb9891bf3f
Two years ago: Craft From The Past, in which I make stuff.

Posted in

2 responses to “Dancing Badly – Performance Edition”

  1. Justin Avatar
    Justin

    So happy I’m a guy – it keeps that chart simple.
    There is some deetail for guys, though.
    Underwear color is irrelevant for guys as everything should stay neatly tucked away.
    Undershirts should be a V-neck, if applicable – no white “puff” at your neck. Also, make sure your tailored or fitted shirts aren’t so tight that they show undershirt lines (or that your sleeves don’t stick out if you’re doing something in a short-sleeved Latin-ish shirt).
    I’m a fan of undershirts because then I don’t apparently sweat.
    Also, dance pants (no pockets) are preferred. Show bags suffice as a reasonable man-purse.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Justin Avatar
    Justin

    Please delete my typo-filled comment….

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment