I'd love to say "nothing", but it's just not true.
– What's funny is funny. Baby laughing at bubbles? There's a reason it goes viral. IT'S FUNNY!
– What's inspiring is inspiring. The disabled veteran dude who "never, ever gave up"? It's been viewed 7 millions times. IT'S INSPIRING!
– Politics are the WORST. You are either with Them or you're an IDIOT. And it's Their job to tell you WHY you're an idiot. Often. With vehemence. It's one thing to have an honest conversation with someone, it's another to make sweeping one-sided statements and expect the other side (or ones undecided or people still debating or anyone who's willing to discuss things) to accept what you're saying. Most often, political FB rants just entrench everyone's beliefs further.
– No one likes a complainer. *scroll*
– Oversharing, however, is not so bad. Some far-flung friends have shared cancer treatments and their side effects, others have shared pregnancy/parenthood stories, some have disclosed other big-time woes (or wins). Since I don't get to see most people these days, it's actually great to hear about the big stuff (bad or ugly as it may be) that one might feel weird about throwing out on the internet. As much as I'd like to know what you had for lunch today, I'd rather know you had a 503 hour delivery and you're tired as shit and I'll bring you some dinner (or at least order a pizza to be delivered to you).
– Birthdays are the best.
– Morgan Freeman is NOT dead.
– Nothing will happen if you type "jump" in a comment.
– Someone will always take an awkward photo of you. And post it. AND tag you, just to make sure everyone sees how awkward you are. Relish the awkwardness. Make it more awkward by posting an awkward comment. It's now a game. Which you are, duh, winning.
– I'm a racist. And a classist. And an ageist. And a genderist and every other kind of "ist" there is, I guess. I believe one's ____ often gives them certain characteristics. Nature/nurture sort of business. For example, I'm anal-retentive and have a hard time shaking my booty (because I'm white). I also worry constantly and have food on my shirt (because I'm a mom). Of course there are exceptions. Are all Asian people bad drivers? No! Are many of them? Yes! But seriously, I don't think most Europeans, Americans, or Australians are very good drivers either. I wasn't even aware that I perpetuating stereotypes. Most times I do it in jest. Most of the time with those people standing right next to me. I mean, why would you make a blonde joke unless a blond is right there? If they're not there, then you're being mean. But seriously, I'm going to cut that shit out. Unless you're standing next to me. And then I'll make a joke about how white men can't jump.
Until Facebook ends, I'll gladly post riveting status updates ("After a delicious breakfast, I treated myself to a really sub-par dinner."), ask intelligent questions ("What's the difference between a muffin and a cupcake?"), share my food pictures, roll my eyes at rants, and generally feel a little more connected to a lot of interesting, different, and lovely people.
Peace, yo.
One year ago: The Finisher.
Riot and Frolic 
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