Riot and Frolic

I'm not officially a ballroom dance judge yet.  But I will be.  Soon.  

I do, however, judge non-sanctioned/unofficial, fun events like a few amateur and pro/am competitions and showcases around the Midwest.  I'm good at it and love doing it.  

Yes.  I'm judgemental.

As a competitor and judge-in-training, I'd like to offer some pointers on 

How To Treat The Judges:

• don't make the judges move.  

Let's say you're doing a Waltz and you decide to get really close to one of the judges- me.  So close that I might have to move my freaking clipboard or actually take a step to avoid your movement.  

You might have thought, "I'll make an impression by getting in her face."  Yes.  You did make an impression.  The impression that you can't control your own movement.  

Stay away from me.  

Along the same lines…

• don't dance too close.

You're dancing your Rumba and you decide to face the panel of judges (since they're all lined up).  You're doing your crossover breaks and your side by side work 5 feet in front of them.  You are working it.

Can I see your number?  Your syncopated breaks might be amazing, but you don't get your back to me at some point, I'm not going to mark you because I don't know who you are.  Lose!

Dancing across the floor from the judges gives us a nice head-to-toe look at you and we see your number almost the whole time.  Win!

Or…

You are offended because they are looking over and around you.  "But look at what I'm doing!" you think.

There are 72 other couples on the floor that we have to see, so watching your entire Rumba is not going to happen.  Watching 4 seconds of it is about enough unless you are so fantastic or so terrible that I must watch more.

Save yourself the angst and get away from me.

• don't make the judges' job hard.

As a competitor, you want to make the judges mark you first, quickly.  That means you should look nice (read more about that here or here) and dance some recognizable figures with the characteristics of that dance.  

Fancy choreography is for you, and you alone.  It does not impress judges because they have already seen it.  And they have already seen someone do it better.  For example…

So do a couple twinkles, or side breaks, or links and do the crap out of them and I will mark you first way faster than someone who is doing something, over there, with some sort of timing…

• don't ignore the judges.

If you are dancing nearby and your general focus is within a foot of my body, please make eye contact.  It gets lonely standing around by myself sometimes.  

Plus, if you avoid eye contact, I think you aren't confident and that's not sexy.  

• judges don't care how it feels.

I don't care if you're sick or hurt or pissed off or sad.  I don't care that your partner is wrenching your arm on that one move.  I don't care that you've danced 15 dances in a row.  I want to see a jive that is light and happy and moves.  

I don't care how it feels.  I care how it looks.

And lastly, my personal pet peeve…

• get on the floor.

Get on the floor!  Once the heat before you is over, go.  Do not wait for your number to be called.  Do not wait for someone else to lead the way.  Do not practice your rumba walks on the way to your spot.  Do not do your best Tina Sparkle and Ken Railings impression.  Get your butt on the floor. 

Thank you and good night.